I know I’m being spiteful and petty and I feel like telling my kids how they really are - but I won’t as they are young and I wouldn’t mess with their heads like that.
But I’m just so fucked off now as I feel like they have ‘won’ especially mil.
When I joined the family Sil was just divorcing Bil. Mil and Sil didn’t speak, Sil accused mil of bullying her. At that point mil was very nice to me although I was always aware that she could turn quite quickly. Every one has to dance to her tune and if not there would be actual slamming doors, shouting ( in my house) tears ect..
Mil actually paid the divorce settlement for bil - she brought the cheque to my house to show me. It was quite hefty but she said it was the price she paid for two grandkids. I’ve been there when she has asked her other grandkids ‘who do you live most, your mum or dad’ which made them really uncomfortable. She’s fucking rotten.
When I was pregnant she really bullied me, to the point I was going to leave dh. She was really unpleasant. Eg. She would let herself in to my house early in the morning whilst I was still in bed, come in to my bedroom and demand ( it was demand because the way she spoke to me was so hostile) to know where dh, Demanding to be at the birth as she was at her other grandkids, dh was so fucking flimsy about it and only stuck up for me when I actually packed a bag to leave. She went apocalyptic and left the country for a month when I was due. She sent me horrible text messages when she got drunk saying i was a ‘fucking cunt‘ I was ‘bullshit’ on the last one I told her to fuck off and never come to my house again. This caused bil to get on the phone and have a go at dh. Dh pretended he didn’t have a clue what was going - even though he was lay beside me when I started getting the messages.
From then we was excluded from family gatherings even though I’d done nothing to the wider family and was always nice and helpful. If dh was invited by himself - he went . I once bumped in to aunty once and whilst having a nice chat she said ‘your the black sheep of the family like me’ . I’d not actually said or done anything to these people for them to view me like this. Dh was quite low contact at this time. Although on occasion he would take the kids to see Mil and Bill and they showered them with gifts and the kids loved it.
Tbh it started to rot our relationship, other stuff happened unrelated and after ten years It called it a day. Since dh has become very close to his family. Seeing them most weekends and taking the kids. Kids talk about them all the time and I feel like I’m on the out side of my own family.
Mil posted a picture last night that my friend sent to me of my two kids sat on her knee with mil smiling smug and it’s give me the rage. Her other grandkids were stood round her too. She’s seen both her Dils off, had her boys back and is now enjoying our kids.
I don’t want them near her but now I feel like the unreasonable one 