To ask, what's the best thing you ever decided to do for yourself?

[Bakerstreet2991]

My world has become very small. I also feel like I'm becoming more stupid and less articulate the older/more experienced I become! I used to be academically bright and did very well at school and university, had a promising career in the city six years ago... Now I find myself festering away in a mid-level admin job (my career has regressed but has other benefits, a separate thread entirely).

I don't feel as well-read as I used to and I have no discernible talents. I took up an instrument for a while and made very good progress but excessively long working hours put a stop to lessons. I am now trying to teach myself a language and making slow progress but with no end objective in mind. I just want to make something more of my life. To become fluent in language or music, to climb mountains.....god, just to have an interesting story to tell at a party, even!

AIBU to ask if you're in a similar position, what's the best decision you ever made for yourself? How did you broaden your horizons or what is the thing you are most proud to have accomplished?

I think you should start by learning to like yourself first.

I did a course with the Open University. This gave me the confidence to know I was capable of learning, sitting exams and passing with good marks.
Doing that course has set me on the path where I am now of applying for new jobs and currently I’m half way through my masters.

I did additional study and then ultimately got a new job. I use my brain now!

The best thing I ever did for myself was to give myself a break.

Had children on my own by donor

Went to South America as a nanny for a year, Travelled around the Greek Islands by myself for 9 mths..(both early 20s)
Thing is I'm now nearing 60 and do have interesting stories to tell..Do something..anything ... get out and see the world!

Did a part-time MA (over 2 years while working full time)—it’s bloody tough but it’s worth it! Might inject a bit of new life into your career and get you enthused? And I would definitely get professional language lessons, they don’t have to be expensive and you’ll learn so much more!

Have you considered doing a course in history of art too? Them after lockdown treat yourself to a week in Florence and Venice to see it in person?

I started a small business from scratch during the hardest time of my life. I'm hoping I'll be able up give up work eventually and just work on my business.

I could have written your post. Before lockdown, I had tried to give myself a bit of a shake, and started doing more things. These included joining a choir (best thing I've ever done) and learning more about music theory, relearning my primary foreign language which I used to be really good at, reading more books, including during the daytime not just at bedtime. I also want to go out more, which has been really hard during the young child years, particularly as we're not massively wealthy. My hope is that as the children get older we'll go to more galleries, concerts, theatre etc. One of the key things for me (ironic given this post) is to stop spending time on my phone and give up Mumsnet! I was doing well at this pre lockdown but have regressed . I don't think there's a magic bullet. Very interested to hear anyone else's thoughts.

Three years of counselling. Then I was able to work out the other stuff.

Stopping drinking.

Goodness - I can't think of anything...

Learned how to navigate properly with a map. I’ve always loved fell walking but always went out with a guide. A mountain skills course at Plas y Brenin gave me the confidence to go out on my own. Now I regularly solo walk in the Lakes and Peaks, and opened up to new experiences of Scottish winter walking, rock climbing, and mountaineering. I didn’t start it until I was 44 either.

Three years of once a week psychotherapy.
Best thing I ever did for myself and worth every penny

Oh and backpacking around Europe in my 20s.

Paid for counselling

I always worked towards a goal when I was younger and when I finally got into my career of choice was a bit lost. Some people need that motivation of working towards something (exam, qualification etc) and I include myself in that. I volunteer for a couple of things, am learning a language and trying to motivate myself on things I’ve always said I’d do.

Getting diagnosed with and learning to manage my ADHD.

That includes: getting sober, going to therapy, taking meds and completely changing my working pattern (ie quitting my soul sucking, mental health destroying teaching job and doing other, more fun, less depressing things instead). And getting my puggo. He's basically a form of therapy.

Got a dog. He gives me an hour every day out in the fresh air, rain or shine. I definitely wouldn't bother to walk for an hour every day without him. He is beneficial to me in many other ways too but I really feel the benefit of that outside time/time to myself.

Travelling!!

I agree. You should be kinder to yourself. You sound very intelligent and hard working.
Education, becoming a mother, my home, travel (not in that order).

But I understand getting into the mindset you are in. I feel a bit housewifey these days.

I could've written your post. I feel less confident as the years have passed and I haven't achieved as much as it looked like I would (perils of pt work and raising 3 DC I guess). I'm hoping to do a course in a few months (If I am accepted onto it), and hoping to do a masters and start a totally new career.

Alittleodd what did you quit teaching to do ?

Live abroad. I've lived and worked in multiple countries. Have a huge variety of friends and contacts. Really opens you up to different perspectives and experiences.

I made the decision this year to jack in the job that was good for everyone else but me. The one that is just down the road, flexible working, boss who is understanding about needing to take time off with the kids etc, allows me to take plenty of time off at the holidays etc. But is also absolutely hell on earth from the minute I start until the minute I leave.

Life is far too short to put up with this bullshit until my youngest is in high school!!