To ask, what's the best thing you ever decided to do for yourself?

[Bakerstreet2991]

My world has become very small. I also feel like I'm becoming more stupid and less articulate the older/more experienced I become! I used to be academically bright and did very well at school and university, had a promising career in the city six years ago... Now I find myself festering away in a mid-level admin job (my career has regressed but has other benefits, a separate thread entirely).

I don't feel as well-read as I used to and I have no discernible talents. I took up an instrument for a while and made very good progress but excessively long working hours put a stop to lessons. I am now trying to teach myself a language and making slow progress but with no end objective in mind. I just want to make something more of my life. To become fluent in language or music, to climb mountains.....god, just to have an interesting story to tell at a party, even!

AIBU to ask if you're in a similar position, what's the best decision you ever made for yourself? How did you broaden your horizons or what is the thing you are most proud to have accomplished?

@Tunnocks34

After my abusive ex boyfriend dumped me (and I had embarrassed myself by begging him to take me back several times) - I watched that Julia Roberts eat pray love film and I booked a Round trip to Europe (initially alone but my best friend flew out after 5 days and we did it together). It was amazing, we travelled all across Europe, staying in hostels, eating authentic food, drinking cheap wine and smoking pink cigarettes. We danced on the beach, went skinny dipping, visited landmarks and museums, laughed until we cried and cried until we laughed. We were even extras in Jersey Shore - Florence addition!

Jesus that sounds brilliant!!

Best thing I ever did for myself:
Tripped on my dog, broke my leg, used the time off work to work on self-care and resilience.

Started with picking up meditation.
Everything changed from there.

During that break (no pun intended) I started to get up early and to be more intentional with my life.

2 years after, I took another leap by starting journaling. Had no idea what I was doing at this time. 3 years on and it's probably the most impactful thing I do on a daily basis.

Last step on that journey was to stop drinking alcohol in january.

From an external point of view, my life hasn't changed dramatically, but from within, it's totally different and it feels amazing.
I feel at peace with myself and now I have the mental space to start working on next steps, don't know what they are yet but excited to find out!

Lived and worked abroad. Truly opened my eyes & was life changing.

Travel is a huge passion still. So much to see and experience out there.

Stopped smoking. 15 years now
Stopped giving a shit what people think of me. Liberating.

@FastFood

That sounds amazing!
Can I ask when you day journaling do you mean keeping a diary or like a gratitude journal?

@squanderedcore

I want to do this but my confidence is completely shot.

So was mine AiryFairyArtyFarty I promise you. I'm in my mid fifties and I was/am overweight, generally crumped, unfit, lacking in confidence and I was downright scared at first. I also have creaking knees! And between the time I restarted and now, I've had a hysterectomy and a bit of a long recovery. Honestly, if I can do it, you can too.

Progress is slow but if Covid-19 isn't enough incentive to lose weight and get slim then riding certainly is!

I've definitely had my ups and downs with it and moments where I questioned what I was doing but anything worth doing is not going to be totally plain sailing and the rewards so far totally outweigh the downsides. Just taking my horse and walking him in hand around the field is a delight frankly.

The key I think is finding the right person to support you. Try and find a really good instructor, perhaps at a riding school, but maybe also a producer who teaches dressage beginners on the side, or who does lots of ground work and start again from there. Someone who really knows what they are about. And critically someone who genuinely enjoys teaching. Ask around at liveries, or ask on Facebook (join your local horsey groups).

Riding is great for your physical and mental health.

More info here.

Good luck!

Inspiring and something to think about Thank you

I was single and had all my evenings free, so I signed up for lots of evening classes and groups. Creative ones, writing, printmaking, pottery, silversmithing, and practical ones like tiling, plumbing and mechanics. It was fantastic for my confidence and motivation.

@OnePotato2Potato

Honestly, I'm not entirely set on my journal routine, it's a bit of trial and error!

I've started with gratitude before going to bed I think but quite often skipped it because I was tired (and sometimes a bit intoxicated 😬)

Then realised that I wanted to keep a record of my silly dreams, so I decided that I would journal in the morning, right after meditation.
So until recently, my routine was:

• Writing a bit about the day before ("I did this, that, met X, had a phonecall with Y")
• Drawing myself in my outfit of the day (involves picking it up the night before)
• Then talk about stuff, really everything that jumped to my mind.

Recently, I finished a notebook and the new one is bigger, I need to write more. So I've started to use prompts.
Found some online, most of them are super tacky but sometimes I give it a go and it surprises me that I actually have something to write about it.
That's one of the best things with writing, you access some levels of self-reflection and informations you didn't even know you had that in your brain!

This morning, I've decided that I would really reflect on the day before rather than just describing it, and then state my expectations for the day to come. Let's see how it goes!

I also have another smaller and scruffier notebook that it's always with me, it's a proper brain dump, I write about anything that comes to my mind, silly ideas, what I'm having for food, that I'm bored in a call etc...
It's generally in that notebook that I do gratitude before bed, but not everyday (still forget quite often)

Aw this is a great thread and really inspiring!

I left my horrible boss and went self employed. Hands down the toughest thing I’ve done but I’m able to work when I want from home, and hand pick my clients.

I’ve drastically cut back on the (low) amount of drinking I did, eat better, started walking and stopped bender type nights out with friends. I feel miles better mentally. Still have to look after depressive/anxiety mindset but I’m much better 😊

Came off social media.

Read more, and also keep up to date with reading I need for work.

Really started to enjoy gardening.

Go to counselling/therapy-this has been life changing!

Basically just started looking after myself and helping my mind feel good and happy. I’ve become more selfish about me and my time and guard it really fiercely now.

OP you sound an intelligent and hard working person. Hoping some of these answers gives you a bit of inspiration!

I’ve often felt like you do so I just do the things you’ve listed.
So I think my best decision is to just do more.
It’s not just one thing that helps me but a few things.
I read books. Non fiction as well as fiction.
I go somewhere once a month out of my area to see a new town, see some new scenery and to go for walks and climb mountains if there’s one there. I’ve got lists of UK waterfalls, coastal walks and mountains.
Travel abroad once a year (though not this year)
I’ve also done a few free short courses on the open university and Coursera.
I listen to podcasts, radio programmes and watch documentaries. Sometimes I hear things I find really fascinating so will delve more into that.

I thrive on learning and experiences and start to feel low and disatisfied if I can’t nurture that part of me.

Only a small thing, and I was very young, but as a child I decided not to smoke.

I'm now into my 60s and my health (touch wood!) and fitness are excellent.

Lots of my later decisions were pretty bad and some were good - and I own them all - but I have never regretted not smoking.