To miss sex SO much

[Catandkittens]

I wanted to post in the sex section but it won't let me so apologies for posting here and mumsnet please move this to the sex section.

No sex for 7 months and I am really really struggling. I know that sounds dramatic but I really could do with some. I do sort myself out, it's just not the same at all. Does anyone have any experience with swinger type clubs as a single female? I'm in my late 20s. I worry that it would be all old men? And maybe I'd see someone I know? I have had one night stands in the past but I don't really fancy it, and I worry about the safety aspect. Help

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@TatianaBis

You seem awfully naive for this lark OP.

Not knowing nude pics are de rigeur?

This. This thread makes no sense. How do you go from not wanting to entertain any other reasonable dating suggestion other posters have made in response to your situation (e.g tinder/FWB) and jump straight to a swingers club, arranging a meet for sex with a stranger/strangers almost instantly and then being alarmed and surprised about people in said club wanting to sext or exchange nudes? They’re not a book club Besides, swingers and people go go on tinder looking for ONS or casual dating because they want meaningless sex are two completely different kettles of fish. Most in the latter group wouldn’t consider the former.

Also as others have said, if it’s closeness or holding or kissing you want alongside the sex then a relationship or a (nice) FWB would be your better option surely?

That's sad. I would recommend a male prostitute then.

Swingers are not just one night stands. I’ve made plenty of long term connections with people, some of whom I would actually class as friends.
I would not go down the club route. I’d try something like fabswingers or fetlife.

@pigeonfarts why on earth is it sad? I'm not sad at all! Sex is a basic adult human need. And I don't want a male prostitute because I don't want to pay for it.

@LastInTheQueue I'm on fab swingers now and loving all the messages I'm getting but is it wise to send nudes or not?

Try fab swingers, some nice guys and you can see the product on offer

@catsandkittens
We don’t do nudes, but that’s entirely up to you. We have a joint profile and very vanilla photos, but then again our profile is very clear that we are not looking for ONS or similar. We only meet people we connect with (not right now, of course) and are very picky on who we talk to.

No don't ever send nudes.

Sex is not a need. It's a desire.

Don't send any nudes with your face showing.

.

I hear ya'

7 months is nothing @Catandkittens try 7 years!

OP, I saw your username and misread it as my own - I thought I must have posted while tired and emotional .

I don’t have any experience of swinging but I’d just like to remind you that any nude pics you send to another person are out there forever. Nothing you can do if someone sends them to your boss or your grandma, either of whom can recognise you even if your face isn’t in the picture. Call me paranoid, but I wouldn’t do it.

There's some mean and unnecessarily sarcastic comments here. Lots of people post here about partners who aren't fulfilling their sexual needs and are promptly told the LTB because it'll never work as sex is so important and a basic human need.

Yet you get someone like OP wanting advice and a bit of a moan about missing it and she gets a load of shitty remarks.

Op be safe, be sensible, remember any photos or messages you send are out there forever and enjoy!!! I'm secretly a bit jealous. Always wanted to try something like that but alas I'm settled down now.

@CardsforKittens hahaha I bet you were worried for a min! No that's why I haven't sent any but was just tempted because I'm not that confident about my body and then I took a GREAT picture of my boobs and wanted to share it but you are right, they are out there forever and anyone can get hold of them. It's mad that there are literally thousands of people on these sites with so many naked pictures doing ALL SORTS and with their faces in them!!

@Bumblebum14 I know, a few mean sarcastic comments but it just makes me wonder that these people probs aren't getting any action if they feel the need to be like that!! Yes so exciting I am in desperate need of some passion and excitement in my life!

You go girl, good on you. Enjoy yourself.

I understand how you feel. You want to feel something for somebody who hopefully is on the same wavelength, have some 'loving fun'. That's perfectly normal. You will unknowingly give out signals and someone may pick up on it but it depends on what your normal daily life is; I mean if you live and work in a village, you're not likely to meet someone new. If you commute into town for work it is more likely.

'Swinging' is for couples so not for you. In any case there's no guarantee you'd fancy anyone.

I'm forgetting about the pandemic, it's not over yet so right now is probably not the right time but you could do some groundwork, join a dating site and see what's available.

Good luck.

You don't have to do nudes, it's more exciting not to unwrap gifts before xmas day.

If you're planning to have sex with someone, a faceless nude photo seems tame by comparison. Not sure what the fuss is about.

But the whole idea is awful imo.

Personally o wouldn't send nudes to a stranger. I wouldn't send them at all but if it were my thing I wouldn't send them to a couple of total strangers.

The fact you asked if it's wise shows you have concerns so I'd say maybe wait until you know the recipient is trustworthy and respectful of your boundaries first maybe

@Lelophants

Maybe I'm far too sheltered but at a swingers club you'd still have to go back to each others houses right? Not sure you'll get much connection there.

No lovely they have sex at the club. In front of each other too

@Catandkittens

I joined the fab swingers website someone suggested and have a meet arranged for next week! Thank you to the poster who suggested it. Problem solved!

You're too nervous to use tinder because of the safety aspect yet you've arranged to meet a stranger from fab??? Pull the other one it's got bells on! And if you're serious, wtf?? At least with a tinder date you decide if you want to have sex with them on the date, you don't go expressly with the goal of having sex. What if you don't fancy him? What if he makes you feel unsafe and the first time you're meeting him is indoors away from the public? Oh for goodness sake.

@LastInTheQueue

Swingers are not just one night stands. I’ve made plenty of long term connections with people, some of whom I would actually class as friends. I would not go down the club route. I’d try something like fabswingers or fetlife.

Fetlife???? For someone who is too nervous to go on tinder???????