To miss sex SO much

[Catandkittens]

I wanted to post in the sex section but it won't let me so apologies for posting here and mumsnet please move this to the sex section.

No sex for 7 months and I am really really struggling. I know that sounds dramatic but I really could do with some. I do sort myself out, it's just not the same at all. Does anyone have any experience with swinger type clubs as a single female? I'm in my late 20s. I worry that it would be all old men? And maybe I'd see someone I know? I have had one night stands in the past but I don't really fancy it, and I worry about the safety aspect. Help

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If any of my friends were stupid enough to go to a swingers club because they wanted their hole they'd get far worse from me than you've had here OP.

You know, sometimes we just need a reality check and to hear it straight. I hope you've got that. It's madness. Why are you wanting to go swinging in the middle of a pandemic? Do you genuinely not see how random that is? And that people might be questioning your sincerity/sanity?

I've never been to a swinger club because I'm too nervous, but I've not had sex for over 10 years so I understand. I have a complex about it. I'm too scared to hook up with random people in case I get raped or something.

@Lupellegrino

You know, sometimes we just need a reality check and to hear it straight. I hope you've got that. It's madness. Why are you wanting to go swinging in the middle of a pandemic? Do you genuinely not see how random that is? And that people might be questioning your sincerity/sanity?

Presumably OP means after things have calmed down.

I'm a bit confused as to why a swingers club is basically the only option. Have you never heard of dating?

Maybe I'm far too sheltered but at a swingers club you'd still have to go back to each others houses right? Not sure you'll get much connection there.

OP - they’ll all get caught up on the swingers thing from here on in & miss the bleedin’ obvious which is that you’re lonely & don’t know what to do to make it better. If I were you I’d take the sensible replies you’ve been given & leave this thread to it’s inevitable demise.

@Catandkittens

I really wish I hadn't posted on here now. A couple of nice people and the rest just unnecessarily mocking and making me feel really stupid. Thanks a bunch guys. Hope you are nicer than this to a friend if she had this problem.

I doubt many people wish you had either tbh

Nasty, nasty people on here.

Op it looks like you're struggling. Have you got close friends or family you can talk to generally?

[quote Catandkittens]@anon5000 I deleted my account and then re-made it, that's why.[/quote]
Did you do that within the past hour?

I'm sure an identical topic got pulled just today!!!

Goodness me, Crunchmum. Ah well. Of such things dreams are made.

There's a good reason the sex topic has a length of membersip (oooer missus) posting limit on it.

Try fabswingers online

I think I get it. A one night stand would be with a stranger in your own home or worse his. It's risky. In a swinger's club the sex happens with other people near by in a regulated environment. So safer. If you choose the right club there will be younger guys there although middle aged ones too. Many clubs are almost exclusively older blokes (and women). Yes people flirt, kiss, cuddle and socialize at these clubs too just as you would at a 'normal' club. Although many choose not too as well. You could easily meet someone to then remedy regularly but could also meet a dishonest cheater too. Swinging clubs are nothing if not diverse.

If you watch The Parachute Murder on ITV, it gives you a glimpse into a sex club.

It was the furthest thing from sexy I've ever seen and it felt dirty just watching it on tv!

@PennyMissilesAndWombPies

There's a good reason the sex topic has a length of membersip (oooer missus) posting limit on it.

Indeed.

I would have thought a swing over to Relationships might have been better in the meantime for an OP, rather than plunging in to the mire that is oft AIBU, but I suspect I'm rather the timid sort myself when it comes to such Byronic matters of the heart.

OP try dating apps and dating sites. Loads of people are on there hoping for sex and relationships.

@premiumshoes I really appreciate your sarcasm, yes I've heard of dating. Thank you.

[quote Catandkittens]@premiumshoes I really appreciate your sarcasm, yes I've heard of dating. Thank you.[/quote]

So why don't you try it? Why is swinging the only option?

OP here are some options:

Friends with benefits
Tinder or the like
A male sex worker
An ex

Good luck and be safe

haven’t you heard of tinder?

Hi OP, I’m sorry that you are finding many of the responses upsetting—I think what a lot of people are just trying to say (in a joking way) is that swinging is not really the most rational route to go down if you’re looking for sex in your situation.

Have you consiedered ways to make OLD safer/feel more safer for you, as that seems to be your worry? Like pre-vetting guys, text address to friend, meet in public place, etc? Maybe try to find a FWB situation or an ex?

It really shouldn’t be that dangerous, and swinging seems to be a totally bizarre way of dealing with this. Unless it’s somethinf you have long wanted to try, it would never occur to me as a way of trying to be safer?!?

@Catandkittens try the Fab swingers website where you'll be spoilt for choice. Meet in a hotel if you're nervous. I understand and empathise.

Also I really think you are not going to find your desired demographic there at all, and especially not what you describe wanting (kissing, cuddling, etc)—it sounds more like you want a FWB or a cuff (as in “cuffing season”)—like a lockdown cuff.