To miss sex SO much

[Catandkittens]

I wanted to post in the sex section but it won't let me so apologies for posting here and mumsnet please move this to the sex section.

No sex for 7 months and I am really really struggling. I know that sounds dramatic but I really could do with some. I do sort myself out, it's just not the same at all. Does anyone have any experience with swinger type clubs as a single female? I'm in my late 20s. I worry that it would be all old men? And maybe I'd see someone I know? I have had one night stands in the past but I don't really fancy it, and I worry about the safety aspect. Help

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@12309845653ghydrvj

Also I really think you are not going to find your desired demographic there at all, and especially not what you describe wanting (kissing, cuddling, etc)—it sounds more like you want a FWB or a cuff (as in “cuffing season”)—like a lockdown cuff.

I had to google that.

I'm getting old. So very, very old.

Haha I learnt that off a guy maybe 2 years back, made me feel very in the know! I think it’s basically a FWB but with more snuggling, like a seasonal relationship with no plans to make it long term.

Just to add, all the swingers clubs I know of have closed off their playrooms and are focusing on the social side of swinging, you can only enter as a couple with a plus 1 (if you want a plus 1) and you have to stay within your bubble. So a swingers club would be no use right now anyway.

And they're not always just old men, plenty of younger men and women go too. It's fascinating to go, even if it's just to people watch.

I joined the fab swingers website someone suggested and have a meet arranged for next week! Thank you to the poster who suggested it. Problem solved!

Good luck OP

OP why swinging though? How is that a better option to sex with a friend, ex or an actual date?

I do hope it goes well for you, but it sounds like the opposite of what you are after.

Please be safe.

@Immigrantsong aven't got any male friends, I still love my ex so I don't want to sleep with him and open all those feelings back up and I just feel like with this, we all know what we're there for.

I just think the type of men who are into swinging are a bit grim.

Why would that be preferable to a hook up site where you still both know what you’re there for.

If you went on Tinder or what that other one - adult friend finder etc. I’m sure there are others.

@TatianaBis on Fabswingers once you've met someone you can leave a verification (Sort of like a review) to say they are genuine and not a troll or time waster. It helps other site users find genuine meets. And I also think it's a bit safer to meet with men who have a few verifications, rather than someone who doesn't have any. As far as I know, you can't verify that anyone is genuine on a site like Tinder, which is why I'd always prefer to meet people via Fab than anywhere else.

Also there are a lot of lovely blokes who do swinging. It's not just seedy old men (in fact these are in the minority!) I've made loads of friends through swinging.

@Immigrantsong

OP why swinging though? How is that a better option to sex with a friend, ex or an actual date?

I do hope it goes well for you, but it sounds like the opposite of what you are after.

Please be safe.

Wouldn't sex with a friend risk spoiling the friendship, though? I mean, I've got a single male friend and I'd love to have sex with him but I don't think he's interested and I worry it'll spoil our friendship.

@Catandkittens if Fabswingers doesn’t work out for you, then join Killing Kittens, far more civilised

@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens everybody on fab swingers seems to send naked pictures? I want to but I worry about the repercussions? I'm chatting to this guy who seems really cool so I thought I'd send a pic but obviously not have my face in it?

Hold on. Just grabbing the popcorn...

No word of a lie but there are Male escorts who are fantastic at the sort of thing you want x

@PhilSwagielka

Yes there is always a risk if ruining the friendship, but I suggested this because OP stated they want intimacy and affection.

Friends or at least people you know are more likely to offer that deeper connection than a random stranger and it may well lead to something, like regular fwb or even a relationship.

[quote Hadjab]@Catandkittens if Fabswingers doesn’t work out for you, then join Killing Kittens, far more civilised[/quote]
Aren't they dead strict though? Like you have to be a certain weight and drop dead gorgeous to join. No fatties, ugly people etc.

@PhilSwagielka ha ha, that’s what I thought, but I’ve been accepted, and I’m no bread stick!

You seem awfully naive for this lark OP.

Not knowing nude pics are de rigeur?

[quote Hadjab]@PhilSwagielka ha ha, that’s what I thought, but I’ve been accepted, and I’m no bread stick![/quote]
I guess if you make an effort for their events, they're OK if you're not super skinny. I went on their website and they said they didn't want morbidly obese people and while I'm overweight, I'm not that bad.

@Catandkittens you don't HAVE to send nudes, a lot of people don't. Fab has a forum where you can chat to lots of people, start threads etc. Why don't you start a thread on there asking about photo etiquette etc? I find it's often helpful to get the opinions of likeminded folk. Like I'd never ask about swinging on here, most people seem to be under the impression it's a bunch of gross old men leering over all the women, car keys in a bowl type thing and it's not at all like that.

@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens I do want to send this guy a picture and I took a good one but is it unwise?

Get a (non sexual) hobby and maybe some friends.

Are you a piece of meat or a human being?

I've got friends thanks. And I don't want a non sexual hobby. I want a shag!!!

I definitely couldn't manage that. Before I met DH i used to meet people on Twitter 😁 it's actually pretty good for getting to know someone I think.
Theres always a risk to meeting a new person and having sex. But no more so a lad from a club than at a swingers club. I wouldn't recommend a swingers club at all.
Look for hot decent people on Twitter, talk, flirt, meet in a hotel after dinner. Make sure someone knows you're there, I'd even tell the receptionist, not "could you make sure I dont get killed" but "I'm so excited, I met this guy, David, on Twitter and we're meeting up for the first time, look isn't he cute" .