To think that chester draws isn't as bad as

[ChangeThePassword]

'chester freezer'

I'm not defending chester draws, but at least I can understand how it happened.

I've just seen someone talk about their 'chester freezer' on Facebook. There's no excuse.

Ooh just caught up with further "fort" discussion!

@LittleBearPad

Come on - it’s quite easy. It freezes chesters.

😂😂😂

@KatnissK

Not sure if it was real but someone on Facebook shared a photo of a sign outside a business saying "if you park here your car will be TOAD!" I quite liked that.

😂😂😂

@coronafiona

I don't like 'myself' as in you can refer that to myself' it's ME!! Argh!

Yes! Yes! Yes! Using "myself" all the time when they mean "me" is sooooo annoying. It's really taking off at the moment. The thing is, I think people think they are correct because think it sounds more educated or formal. Or something.

I think there was a bit in a sitcom once (Porridge maybe, with Fletcher correcting Godber?)

"You're really getting on my goat!"

"No I can get your goat or on your wick!"

Or something certainly more amusingly written

Full proof 😱😱😱

I see your "full proof" and raise you "full scap"

How about "married Benito ", met with the response who is Benito? Acyiallyy was a misunderstanding of someone talking about a relative who was said to have "married beneath her"! The person frequently gets it wrong!

In next there was a sign with a product warning with a picture of a pair of shoes. "These shoes brake" .
unless the shoes have magic abilities to suddenly root to the pavement by themselves , someone in head office needs basic english lessons.

Today on my local FB

'Your a grate mum to your baby's.'

'I agree. There should be moor like you.'

DH and DDs call the ceiling the 'roof'.

'Shall we get a quote to skim the Artex on the roof?'

Or

'I sat on Daddy's shoulders and touched the roof!'

NO NO NO

It's those people who who don't even have a basic understanding of the English language, where it's not purely a spelling mistake (your / you're etc) but who just use COMPLETELY THE WRONG WORD.

Case in point. A girl on my Instagram

"Your be the the daddy in the world I just no it"

WHAT?????

and

"There be nice stopping us once all this is over"

And yep, I'm that person who sends screen shots to their family group so they can all wince with me.

I love these. It really irritates me when people say the wrong thing, I'm afraid and I come across as rude as I naturally say the correct word out loud in order to process what the person is saying.

The thing is though, my best friend is dyslexic and as much as I enjoy reading these, I do so with a guilt, as I know that for some people it's not just lack of education or reading.

I've just seen a for sale listing for - mirrow topped draws !

Canopies (canapés), skellington and, my favourite, the three pea swee (furniture)

I've seen 'your be ok' and such before in texts too. It just baffles me that they have such a lack of understanding of basic English and what words actually mean.

I've frequently wondered the same. It's the difference between learning vocabulary and phrases individually by rote and understanding how to actually master and properly use language as a full tool of communication.

I've just seen "wether" twice in the last couple of minutes. Do people not read any more??! Are you sure it wasn't a farmer referring to his/her castrated rams?! I can be very silly and always sing the Crowded House song as 'Everywhere you go, always take a wether with you'. I can't think of a single situation in which you might find yourself where it wouldn't be helpful to have a ram tucked under your arm

'His going to nursery tomorrow'

It drives me nuts! I've tried to correct her when she's said it in front of me but she looks at me like I'm weird 🤷🏼‍♀‍ it annoys me more when she's written it in a message.

She isn't wrong, as long as she is going to elaborate and give further information pertaining to his going to nursery. That's a massive benefit of the doubt, though!!

I also don’t understand the inconsistency that sometimes you see, so for example there used to be a discount shop in my home town that had a professionally printed list outside something like:

WE SELL:
Toys
Books
Sweet’s
Games
Snack’s
Drinks
CD’s
DVDs
Gift’s
Postcards and souvenir’s

And I’d think, fair enough if you don’t understand the apostrophe thing but does it not bother you that some things in your list have them and some don’t? And don’t the sign writers suggest the correct way to do it?

I've just seen a for sale listing for - mirrow topped draws !

So many people in Birmingham and surrounding areas actually call it a 'mirrow', hence that's how they spell it. I'm baffled as to why. Maybe it's just that it's an accent that doesn't easily lend itself to ending a word with a clipped schwa, as it tends towards extended background sounds as well as the actual words - similar to the Caernarfon accent, where a lot of speakers verbally crank themselves up with an 'oooooooooohhh' before the actual words begin!

Bold fail there.

@ifhedoesntlikeithecanstuffit

I asked DD (12) to do something the other day and she said 'no, I can't be arsed!'

Or so I thought. When I challenged her on her rudeness, she thought it was 'can't be asked'!

Hope she hasn't said that to her teachers.....

Had the same debate with my kids. They decided 'arsed' was the 'old fashioned' way for old people like me.

There is no R in can't!!!! 🤬🤬🤬

I saw a post on Facebook of a notice in a shop window saying Shoplifters will be prostitutes... Obviously supposed to be prosecuted

There's a beach-side cafe in Norfolk with a prominent sign giving its name and then saying "Coffee" "House" - with the random inverted commas accompanying the individual words separately. To me, it just looks like they're casting critical aspersions on the quality and/or authenticity of their own product, as well as acknowledging the fact that, technically, it isn't a domestic house but rather a commercial premises.

We sell something resembling"coffee" - if you can actually call it that!

@InTheShadowOfTheMushroomCloud

We used to have a shop in the 1970/80s called Chester Chairs....I always thought they had missed an excellent opportunity....I think it was half way down Watergate Street opposite where Weinholts used to be (for us old Cestrians)

Don't even start on how to pronounce Weinholts! 🥐🍰🍩🎂 (also an old Cestrian) I don't remember Chester Chairs though.

Had the same debate with my kids. They decided 'arsed' was the 'old fashioned' way for old people like me.

I thought the 'modern' way was to still clearly pronounce the 'k', but to shift it to before the 's' and lengthen the 'r' sound for good measure.

"Don't arrrks me".

Disc race instead of disgrace