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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call out doctor/ambulance

124 replies

Caplin · 15/08/2020 02:15

Tonight we had neighbours round, all outdoors etc. At some point H vanishes. Ask kids, they say he is in the loo. He is an introvert so I

assume he has gone to bed as this is normal.

Wave people off. Go inside to discover H unconscious and shivering behind bathroom door. He may have been there 2 hrs. Had to force my way in. Got him into bed, no fever. After some water seems ok, but messed up and confused. I wanted to call 999/111 but he refused.

Kids are petrified. Should I insist he sees a doctor?

OP posts:
DoTheNextRightThing · 15/08/2020 08:37

At the least, call 111 out of his earshot and ask them for advice. They will be able to tell you if this is cause for concern. And if he needs paramedics, get them round. Once they're at your house, he can't really refuse.

TheMamaYo · 15/08/2020 08:37

That sounds terrifying, OP. I hope you got the medical assistance needed and that he is much better now.

Mumdiva99 · 15/08/2020 08:39

@Caplin please come back and update us.

ineedaholiday123 · 15/08/2020 08:42

I hope he is ok

Mumdiva99 · 15/08/2020 08:43

@honeybeexo what's the link to that thread please.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 15/08/2020 08:48

@Honeybeexo

Think she’s name changed and started another thread
No, that's not the same person, as confirmed by the other OP.
ILikeGlitter · 15/08/2020 08:50

Hope he's ok

Original poster
Caplin · 15/08/2020 10:29

Hello,

Spoke to 111 and they also spoke to him. In the end he was looking and sounding better. Left him overnight and this morning he seems ok but will make him go to doctor for a once over. He is very stubborn but I don’t care, I will drag him myself if I must.

Maybe he fainted, maybe dodgy food or tiredness. We won’t know till he gets a check up.

Thank you all.

OP posts:
MJMG2015 · 15/08/2020 10:33

That's a worry, but hopefully it was just a bug of some kind

There was another poster last night, who people thought might have been you starting another thread, but her DH went to hospital willingly. Hoping to hear what's wrong with him soon.

I hope both DH's make Good, quick, recoveries!

Original poster
Caplin · 15/08/2020 10:43

That is scary for the other OP, I didn’t see that one. Hope he is OK.

My DH seems ok, I’m hoping it was just a bug. Will be keeping a close eye on him.

OP posts:
popcornlover · 15/08/2020 10:53

Mumsnet is hilarious. “My husband is unconscious. Should I seek medical advice or just go on Mumsnet and ask some strangers what to do?” How did you ever manage to get yourself dressed for school?

480Widdio · 15/08/2020 11:35

Pleased to hear your husband is improving this morning.@Caplin.Hope it continues.

katy1213 · 15/08/2020 12:10

@popcornlover You could be dying while they're on their phones and maybe getting distracted by a good CF story.
Have women really been infantilised to the point where they can't take what might be a life or death decision? Whoops, kids, sorry dad died in the night but I'm incapable of taking an executive decision.
Glad to hear this worked out okay - it didn't for my friend whose husband collapsed in a locked bathroom. She called the ambulance and fire brigade - as any normal person would - but he was dead by the time they got there.
Dithering can kill!

QuestionableMouse · 15/08/2020 12:22

I actually blame the 'don't abuse the NHS' brigade for stuff like this. People have been made to feel guilty about using the services and it leads to not wanting to call when help is clearly required.

Hope he's okay today op. If it happens again, or even if he just seems not quite right you need to get him medical help.

AntFarm · 15/08/2020 12:30

I hope your DH is better now but I have to say OP that I think it was very stupid of you not to phone 999.

Original poster
Caplin · 15/08/2020 12:42

So to the bitchy people. I hesitated because he had regained consciousness and was refusing me calling anyone.

I lost my younger brother a few weeks ago. I didn’t hesitate to call and ambulance and to perform CPR on him. A few weeks ago I again didn’t hesitate to call an ambulance for my disabled dad who fell.

I hesitated because DH was refusing.

So please go screw yourselves.

OP posts:
KoalasandRabbit · 15/08/2020 12:45

Did you tell 111 he had been uncounscious - when I had similar happen to me 111 had an ambulance round very quickly. Surprised they didn't.

melj1213 · 15/08/2020 13:05

The fact that your DH was refusing is irrelevant to the fact that you could have still called 111 for advice. If they thought an ambulance was medically necessary then they would send it and your DH could refuse any assistance once it arrived, but at least then you would have done everything you could do.

They are the medical professionals but even to a lay person, unconsciousness (whether for seconds or hours) is not something that happens out of nowhere and I would rather overrule the person who is clearly having a medical episode to get advice from medical professionals than risk it becoming more serious and wishing I'd done something sooner.

Cissyandflora · 15/08/2020 13:09

People aren’t being bitchy. We were urging you to be sensible and get medical attention for the sake of your husband who you say you found shaking and unconscious having been on the floor for possibly two hours.

Mittens030869 · 15/08/2020 13:15

I'm glad your DH appears to be better, and I'm glad you called for help. Hopefully it will turn out to be a bug. I do agree with PPs that you should have called an ambulance as soon as you found him unconscious, but what's done is done.

I've been very unwell with Covid symptoms and my DH had to call 999 a couple of times and also 111 several times. On one occasion I wasn't able to breathe and was almost slipping into unconsciousness. But when my DH called the paramedics, he told them that I appeared to be asked, but I wasn't at all, I was just unable to move. They did tell him to put me on my side so that I could cough or puke if needed.

It was a horribly scary time.

GisAFag · 15/08/2020 13:50

FFS it really annoys me that people want strangers opinions on what they would do in an emergency. What your husband wants is different to what he needs. Be responsible you're an adult

Chanjer · 15/08/2020 13:50

So to the bitchy people. I hesitated because he had regained consciousness and was refusing me calling anyone.

You didn't do anything wrong

tbh if someone called me an ambo against my wishes I'd be fucking livid, that's LTB territory

knittingaddict · 15/08/2020 14:11

tbh if someone called me an ambo against my wishes I'd be fucking livid, that's LTB territory

If something like this had happened to my husband and he decided to leave me because of it, I would happily wave him off. Anyone who broke up a relationship because their partner cared enough to do the right thing, isn't worth keeping.

TalkingOutOfMyBottom · 15/08/2020 14:11

So to the bitchy people.. Hang on a sec, you posted asking for advice and several medical professionals told you to call 999. Now we are bitchy? How does that work then?

What exactly were you expecting when you posted a question like that and then blatantly ignored good advice from professionals who were taking their time to advise outside of work?

bobbiester · 15/08/2020 15:06

I would always call 999 for loss of consciousness unless it was very obviously a classic (vasovagal) fainting episode. And even then I’d probably call if the person had no history of fainting previously.

If you find someone unconsciousness and didn’t witness what caused it – then 999 should be the default course of action. You’ve no idea if it was due to a head injury, seizure, heart problem etc or just a regular fainting episode.

Loss of consciousness is first on the list of “When to call 999” here…

www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care/when-to-call-999/

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