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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call out doctor/ambulance

124 replies

Caplin · 15/08/2020 02:15

Tonight we had neighbours round, all outdoors etc. At some point H vanishes. Ask kids, they say he is in the loo. He is an introvert so I

assume he has gone to bed as this is normal.

Wave people off. Go inside to discover H unconscious and shivering behind bathroom door. He may have been there 2 hrs. Had to force my way in. Got him into bed, no fever. After some water seems ok, but messed up and confused. I wanted to call 999/111 but he refused.

Kids are petrified. Should I insist he sees a doctor?

OP posts:
MiniEggs234 · 15/08/2020 02:53

OP ignore what he is saying. Of course he isn't ok and it doesn't matter that he is feeling a bit better and is brighter now. Either call 999 or at the very least 111. Now!

The only reason I can think of that he is insisting that he's fine would be that he knows why it happened. But that's not a reason to ignore.

It might be nothing serious, or be a reaction to drugs or something. But this is clearly not normal, and he needs to get seen to determine what caused it. Do not ignore this because he is insisting he's fine or because he will stop you phoning.

nocoolnamesleft · 15/08/2020 02:54

Which would you sooner risk? Him being cross that you appropriately called for help? Or you wishing to god you'd called for help sooner if he collapses again in the night?

TitsOutForHarambe · 15/08/2020 02:54

YABU not to have called 999 as soon as you found him

Honeybeexo · 15/08/2020 02:58

Totally agree with @TitsOutForHarambe (I love that username tho)

TheoriginalLEM · 15/08/2020 02:58

He couldhave hit his head. Incredulous that medical assistance notsought.

Original poster
Caplin · 15/08/2020 02:58

He keeps saying no and that I am upsetting him by wanting to call 111. I might just have a sleepless night ahead until tomorrow.

He seems better, but I’m still scared. My little brother died unexpectedly in May, so I may be hyper sensitive.

OP posts:
KoalasandRabbit · 15/08/2020 02:59

I would imagine he's saying he's fine as he doesn't want to worry anyone and wants to believe he's fine / doesn't like hospitals, that's why I say no sometimes at least.

Cissyandflora · 15/08/2020 03:00

Yes I agree with above. You should have already called an ambulance. I’d hate to think of this happening to my son and his wife doing nothing.

KoalasandRabbit · 15/08/2020 03:00

I would definitely call tonight, it may well be fine but equally could be something life threatening which needs urgent treatment.

Happyhappyday · 15/08/2020 03:02

You don’t have to tell him you’re calling but for goodness sake, just call 111! It’s no pressure, and they’ll triage based on his symptoms. Go out in the garden and do it if you’re worried it’ll upset him to hear you do it.

Mumdiva99 · 15/08/2020 03:02

Why don't you let the expert decide. 111 will tell you if it can wait. (It could just be a panic attack - I only use the word just as it's not life threatening. But it could be so else.)

TalkingOutOfMyBottom · 15/08/2020 03:03

For God's sake call a bloody ambulance. You've got a recently retired triage nurse upthread telling you to.

MiniEggs234 · 15/08/2020 03:04

You said he was unconscious on the bathroom floor, shivering, and may have been like that for 2 hours. That should have immediately been a 999 call.

You need to call 111 now at the very least. You do not know what caused him to be unconscious. If he hit his head, the signs of concussion can take a while to show.

But he was on the floor, unconscious. You know what you need to do, so please stop ignoring it because he is playing the 'you're upsetting me' card.

Cissyandflora · 15/08/2020 03:04

And please update once you’ve called for the ambulance

480Widdio · 15/08/2020 03:05

Please don’t leave him OP,phone tonight.

I left my husband thinking sleep was what he needed,he had a brain haemorrhage and didn’t survive.I have had to live with that ever since.He was 52.

Original poster
Caplin · 15/08/2020 03:05

Ok, will call 111 and get advice. Thank you. Is very odd when you are with someone saying they are ok 🙁

OP posts:
Cissyandflora · 15/08/2020 03:07

I’m so sorry 480Widdio. How terribly sad. Hopefully this will make OP seek some help now. Not tomorrow.

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom · 15/08/2020 03:07

This might be time sensitive OP. He is no position to make the decision. You make the call. You are the other adult in the house. If it is a stroke you are wasting time and damaging his prognosis.

MustShowDH · 15/08/2020 03:08

You can do 111 online if he prefers that.

Tell him he's lucky you didn't call 999 when you found him, the least he can do is let you get him checked out so you don't worry all night.
If you phrase it as being about you rather than him, maybe he won't feel so helpless and will therefore let you do it.

I think you have to be forceful and risk him waking up tomorrow in a mood with you, rather than not waking up at all.

I know it's scary, but you got this.

TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom · 15/08/2020 03:08

I'm so sorry, I can see you are. I hadn't refreshed. Hope everything is okay.

Original poster
Caplin · 15/08/2020 03:08

@480Widdio

Please don’t leave him OP,phone tonight.

I left my husband thinking sleep was what he needed,he had a brain haemorrhage and didn’t survive.I have had to live with that ever since.He was 52.

I am so sorry, and that also scares me completely ☹️
OP posts:
Rebeccasmoonnecklace · 15/08/2020 03:09

But he’s not okay OP. Having to force your way into the room as your DH has collapsed behind it and finding him unconscious and shivering is not normal. You’re doing the right thing by calling 111. Also I’m so sorry to hear about the death of your brother Flowers

MustShowDH · 15/08/2020 03:09

lots of cross posts. sorry.

Confusedismyname · 15/08/2020 03:14

Don’t leave it till the morning.

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