Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you chose to go abroad during a pandemic it serves you right?

366 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 13/08/2020 23:04

I get that folk feel they deserve a holiday, but if you travel during the current pandemic you shouldn't complain if rules suddenly change before you get home.

Anyone with half a wit could see that it was a risky thing to do to take a holiday at this time.

OP posts:
KeepingPlain · 14/08/2020 09:16

I hope everyone moving from England to Scotland in the past forty years took the possibility of civil war and regime change into account.

Well in fairness, they should have at least considered that Scotland may go independent at some point thanks to 'queen' sturgeon refusing to accept the word no.

Drivingdownthe101 · 14/08/2020 09:16

I just can’t imagine deciding to move to France and sitting down with my parents to discuss the possibility of never seeing them again.
In fact when I did live in Paris it was a quicker journey to get home to see them than it was when I lived on the south coast of England and they were in the Midlands.

Drivingdownthe101 · 14/08/2020 09:18

@SheWranglesRugRats

Esmeralda by that logic no-one would ever move out of their parents’ house.
Or, in fact, go out anywhere. As you may never return.
Lovemusic33 · 14/08/2020 09:19

I agree OP, I was tempted to take the dc’s abroad this year for the first time but due to covid that now won’t happen, it’s not the end of the world and I’m pleased we didn’t book anywhere. We have been away in the uk and that’s fine. I’m not sure why anyone would want to risk being stuck somewhere especially with dc’s.

EsmereldaMargaretNoteSpelling · 14/08/2020 09:19

I did say that in a previous message - that it could happen here too. I'm commenting on the posts where people have said it honestly never occurred to them that they might not see someone again. Perhaps they were actually exaggerating...

wanderings · 14/08/2020 09:20

@Jihhery

What's scary is how much people trust the government. They said it was ok so people assumed it would be ok. Now they're often shocked and outraged because they weren't given a warning that no thinking individual would need.
This in spades. So many people think Boris is God, and blindly do as he says, whether careful or not careful.

Meanwhile, Mumsnet frothing is the gift that keeps on giving. (Pulls up chair, gets out bingo card; great rainy day entertainment.)

  • Selfish: tick.
  • Get a grip: tick.
  • Head a wobble: tick.
  • There is a pandemic: tick.
  • Imbeciles: tick.

And a new one: wreckless (sic).

Abraid2 · 14/08/2020 09:20

[quote EsmereldaMargaretNoteSpelling]@Pacif1cDogwood

A pandemic might not have occurred to you perhaps, but did you genuinely not consider the possibility of never being able to see them again? Sudden death on either side? Financial issues? Regime change? Even war? Given everything that happens across the globe on a daily basis over the decades?

I lost both my parents as a teenager so have have a longer and perhaps more dispassionate perspective on not seeing people. I can't imagine not discussing the possibility if I moved abroad.[/quote]
I have raised this very point in connection with Australia, having had a lot of experience with very close familiy migrating each way. Every time it comes up on MN, people assure the poster who is thinking of immigrating to Australia that it will all be fine, their parents can fly to see them and there is always Facetime.

It really doesn't work like that once parents become sick and frail. Even before Covid it was just too far for parents to fly once they reach a certain age. Add to that something happening like the migrating person divorcing or losing a job and suddenly not being able to afford flights back to the UK and you can easily have a situation in which you won't see an elderly parent for some years. Possibly before they die.

We were 'fortunate' that my father died in December because my brother wouldn't have been able to say good-bye if it had been three months later. As it was, the financial repercussions of a divorce after he migrated and a redundancy have made it hard for him to come over here. My parents were far too frail to fly to see him.

Now obviously if you or your parents move to France or Spain or it's (outside Covid times) not the same at all. But I think people do need to think about moves to the other side of the world and the implications. It can all seem fine when the migrant has a stable marriage and job and the grandparents are relatively young and in good health--there's lots of flying back and forth. Not the same ten or twenty years down the line, in my experience.

Of course people should immigrate and go and live somewhere else if they think it's good for them/their career/their children. But it's really worth thinking about the longer-term consequences.

TheWayOfTheWorld · 14/08/2020 09:21

@fartyface

I agree. I am totally responsible for my actions.

And enjoying my holiday in France

This Grin

We came to France last week with our eyes wide open to the possibility of quarantining on our return - which to be honest will be not dissimilar to the last 5 months. apart from I will have DH around to help with the DC whilst I WFH full time, so win-win.

Unlike OP I do feel sorry for people who this is affecting and have had to make last minute cancellations etc Thanks

BoggledBudgie · 14/08/2020 09:26

YANBU - and I’m surprised a bunch of adults are acting so child like. But then again, they’ll be the same ones that are complaining about wearing masks and social distancing.

SurreyHillsGirl · 14/08/2020 09:26

@dwiz8

BillywilliamV

What in fucks name is the point of this thread? Why not keep your self-important little smuggeries to yourself?

You are aware this is Aibu

I assume the OP is asking if they are being unreasonable for thinking this

That's the point. Don't like it? Scroll on past

Yeah, actually @dwiz8 it's actually you who has totally missed the point of AIBU Grin

@BillywilliamV is spot on. The neggy vibe of this thread is pure, unadulterated jealousy. I'm not going overseas this year but I really loathe the tone of these shitty, judgy threads Hmm you have to feel pity for people who decide to post them.

popcornlover · 14/08/2020 09:27

YANBU
It’s a risk. Also will continue to spread the virus globally.

TheWayOfTheWorld · 14/08/2020 09:28

@Lemonsaretheonlyfruit

Forgive me for asking a possibly idiotic question. If someone flies to France/Spain with a Mask on (as they won't be permitted to travel otherwise) , uses the hand sanitisers available everywhere they go and also practices social distancing at all times and wears a mask, then how is this person endangering anyone more thAn they would if they were doing in the UK? Even if the R rate us slightly higher in France than the UK.. if they are doing all of the above then I don't see why everyone is saying they are mad/ selfish/ endangering lives etc?
We are safer here in rural France than in our small city in the U.K.! We've driven here and been to the supermarket twice - DH went once and I went once - supermarket is huge, no queues, everyone distanced, all wearing masks, plenty of hand sanitiser.

Otherwise we have stayed at our villa enjoying the sun and - more importantly - the pool and the other amenities.

Back home numpties are not wearing masks, supermarket is much busier and in any event the DC are back at school in 3 weeks mixing with various people.

BikeTyson · 14/08/2020 09:28

People are allowed to be disappointed or complain. So long as they do the quarantine time what does it affect you if they complain about it?

Just like with masks and everything else. The rule is to wear one, not to be happy about wearing one. We’re living in shit times and everyone is entitled to feel however they feel about it. I’ll complain if I bloody well want to.

BlusteryShowers · 14/08/2020 09:29

I think "serves you right" is a mean turn of phrase as it suggests they were wrong to go.

I do think that they're daft if they didn't realise there was a good chance they'd have to quarantine on return, and if this would pose a problem for them then it wasn't a sensible choice. But plenty of people will have still gone and be prepared to quarantine, so no harm in it as far as I can see.

dwiz8 · 14/08/2020 09:30

[quote SurreyHillsGirl]**@dwiz8

BillywilliamV

What in fucks name is the point of this thread? Why not keep your self-important little smuggeries to yourself?

You are aware this is Aibu

I assume the OP is asking if they are being unreasonable for thinking this

That's the point. Don't like it? Scroll on past

Yeah, actually @dwiz8 it's actually you who has totally missed the point of AIBU Grin

@BillywilliamV is spot on. The neggy vibe of this thread is pure, unadulterated jealousy. I'm not going overseas this year but I really loathe the tone of these shitty, judgy threads Hmm you have to feel pity for people who decide to post them.[/quote]
It's not jealousy

It's just pointing out stupidity of those who take a risk and the complain when it doesn't pan out

I have travelled multiple times over the last month. On the basis that I was taking a risk. I had a trip to France planned for September and had to cancel. The issue is the people moaning about it.

Friendsoftheearth · 14/08/2020 09:30

callmeangelina I have compassion and empathy of those that are deserving, the real victims of covid.
Do I have sympathy for those choosing to go on holiday in the middle of a pandemic? Of course not. Travelling for leisure in the middle of a pandemic is insane.

It was their choice to travel, they were not forced to go to France/Spain, those that booked before the crisis would be covered by insurance in the main, and those that booked after were aware the risks, so why would anyone 'feel sorry' for them!! Even those with average intelligence could which way it was going weeks ago!

Porcupineinwaiting · 14/08/2020 09:30

"Serves them right" is horrible. The possibility of a quarantine may have been predictable but its actuality is nothing to gloat about.

DullDullWeather · 14/08/2020 09:30

Jog on
DM (widowed for a year) was due to go to Lake Garda in May with her friend and Goddaughter . Cancelled .
Now, she is due to go to France, with same friend, which would have done her some good and now this .
Stick YOUR opinion OP .
YABU

DullDullWeather · 14/08/2020 09:31

Serves them Right is the unreasonable part .

SunAddict · 14/08/2020 09:32

We booked and paid for our holiday in full way before the pandemic started, until yesterday the destination was still on the quarantine free air bridge list so if we did not travel we would have lost all our money and would not have been able to claim for it on travel insurance as the FCO was not advising against all but essential travel.
I can understand feeling that way about people who booked holidays during the pandemic but not those who booked in advance and stood to lose everything, that is just mean spirited.

YesINameChangeEveryDay · 14/08/2020 09:34

I wouldn't go abroad just now but I do think it's unfair of the government to announce airbridges (to encourage tourism) and then change the rules at a moments notice.

Kisskiss · 14/08/2020 09:35

@HopelessSemantics I agree with you.. didn’t read the OP as being gleeful people are missing holidays..
Read it more as being annoyed with people who choose to go abroad and then moan about resulting disruptions to their travel plans due to covid..
I’m abroad .. in a quarantine facility actually, waiting to be released. I’m here to visit a very ill relative but I accept that it’s highly likely when I return I will also need to quarantine at home uk the UK. It’s not my ideal siruation, but look it’s unavoidable given whats happening.

Monkeybunkey · 14/08/2020 09:37

Perhaps "serves you right" is a bit strong, but I totally agree with the rest of the post. We are still in the middle of a global pandemic, regardless of whether lockdown restrictions are being eased in some places, so anyone that travels abroad should expect some disruption or last minute rule changes around quarantine as the government responds to a constantly changing scenario.

GrimSisters · 14/08/2020 09:39

I'm currently working out how to get my 13 year old daughter over to Lyon in time for her to start school there on 1st September, as she'll be staying with her father and doing year 9 in France.
I had everything arranged to accompany her over, visit the school and return home alone and she's been so excited about it.
Now she's in bits because she'll have to Eurostar alone (she's flown alone loads of times), is worried she won't have my luggage allowance Hmm and her father is now badgering me relentlessly to sort stuff out.
I work in the NHS, so morally can't even attempt to fly in/out of Geneva to get round it.
It isn't just package holidays that are affected.

CouldBeOuting · 14/08/2020 09:40

My holiday (yes in France) was booked and oId for last Autumn.

If I was at home right now then I COULD be going to packed pubs / beaches / parks and mixing with two households in my garden. I would be going to my local (very busy) supermarket where I am usually the only one bothering with a mask and no one bothers with social distancing anymore.

I AM in rural France. I drove all the way here and had no contact with anyone but DH & DC (only one DC - haven’t seen the other one since this started as she lives away at uni). I am in an isolated gite with no one else around, private pool etc. Every few days I go to to the local supermarket. It is not busy and I’ve never seen anyone without a mask. Social distancing is very much followed. I am under more effective quarantine here than if I were at home!

BUT I had the choice of losing over £2.5K by not coming on holiday or losing 3 days pay when I return......