To let someone else clean it up?

[itsrainingandpouringgg]

My gran is 99 and lives in a council flat in a high rise building on the 11th floor.
I've been her full time unofficial carer for over 15 years.
She has advanced dementia and moved Into a care home 7 weeks ago.
She broke her hip,now she is in the final stages.
My aunt lives abroad and hasn't visited in 6 years.
None of my other cousins visited.
I've been left to sort everything out.
Had to find home,make hard decisions,wore myself to the ground.
No friends no family of my own.
Now the council have told me I have to remove the large items myself from the flat
The items are really old and shabby and no charity organisations would want them.
I can't carry a bed,a cooker a wall unit etc etc on my own.
The council said it's my responsibility
It's not my flat it was my grans.
The council will remove them for a charge but I would need to carry them downstairs.
I don't have the strength.
Aibu to just leave them?

I'd take any personal belongings and leave the rest for the council to deal with. If you can't do it you can't do it.

I've seen the council come in and empty all the rubbish when people have been evicted etc
Yet a really elderly woman who has had to move into a care facility they won't remove.

Grapewrath - You have zero responsibility for this financially or morally. It happens all the time and the council have capacity to remove items under these circumstances.

This. But while you're available and responding to the council they'll cheerfully carry on and try and get you to do it.

If your gran has any money then the council will clear it and recharge the cost to her, if she has no money they will have to shoulder the cost themselves. Legally, if you don't have Power of Attorney you can't use her money (if she has any) to pay for clearance and it is not your responsibility. Just tell the council that all personal belongings have been removed and there is nothing else you can do can have the keys back and it is up to them. They will try and get you to do it for free but you don't have to just because the council says so!

So would you clear the flat as best I can then drop the keys into the office ?

Does your gran have any money? Can you arrange for a coming to remove it...

@cdtaylornats

Send the council the name and number of the social worker saying resposibility lies with them.

This exactly. Ex-social worker here. The council will try it on with you but the best that you can do is tell them to contact social services. Social Services wont pay but they would (should) liaise with the council and get it sorted. You have no responsibility with regards to this issue.

You are definately not selfish. You sound lovely.
I agree with everyone else it is not your responsibility. I would just leave them where they are. If the council contact you I'd say they aren't my belongings and I don't have power of attorney and I am not next of kin. Then ask them to not contact you again.
They may charge your gran but they'll have a process for scenarios like this. X

@itsrainingandpouringgg I would offer bits as free for collection on Facebook. I had no money starting out and lived in a flat with no cooker for 6 months.
After that just drop the keys at the council office. It isn't your tenancy.

You could try local websites for free but they have to collect. Maybe a second hand furniture dealer would do it if he is getting it for free. Otherwise I agree with others that you could leave it.

You have been very good to her.

The council is just trying their luck. Lock the door and leave the stuff inside, they will remove it and send your Gran the bill. If she has no money (which she probably doesn’t if she’s in a care home) she won’t have to pay.

Just leave it.

They will deal with it and they will charge your gran. If she doesn't have funds to pay for it there isn't much they can do.

@Happyadventurer that's so good to know.
I've been worrying about it.
Everything just seems so complicated at the minute

If it is not your legal responsibility I wouldn't do it. You've done enough. The council will try to avoid doing this if they can persuade you to, but really, it's not your responsibility and they will have dealt with worse when tenants leave flats/ are evicted (used to work in housing - saw internal walls locked down, excrement left on floors, one person removed all the doors before they left).

I can’t see how it would be your responsibility at all! The council are just hoping they can pass it on to you I think.

Il make sure everything is clean and all draws etc emptied.
Oh god I can't believe people would leave them in such poor state.

Personally if i were you OP i would clear her flat of belongings which are meaningful to you and your family, and leave the rest.

Label the keys, put them in an envelope and enclose a covering letter saying {Gran's name] is now in end stage care in hospital and these are the family's keys to her flat. Include her full name the address and the name of the hospital she's in. Don't sign it from you! Then post it through the council's actual letter box.

They'll know how to proceed because it's a common situation.

If/when they try to contact you you can simply say you have no access to the flat and no legal responsibility for it's contents.

Nice and simple

OP, as a PP suggested, if the social worker had to give notice on the flat and refused to allow you then I'd remind the council housing department or housing association that they must speak to the social worker as they've recognised you don't have authority.

I hope you can recharge your batteries and good luck.

I've been here and the advice is correct. The Council will clear it if it is the end of the tenancy and charge your Gran.

Different Council have different policies on how agressively they persue the debt but if your Gran has no money then they have to absorb the cost.

Part of being public funded is sometimes the public pay where people genuinely can not. This is pretty common and the Council are just looking for the cheapest and easiest solution. They even have a list of contractors who do this for them and will have it cleared in a day if they need to.

Clear out personal items that you can move. Give the keys back to the housing office and state you will not be entering the property again and forget about it.
As for the unhelpful relatives, also common unfortunately and numerous threads on this. Nobody has an answer to selfish twats in families, we all have them.

Empty out all the personal bits you want and leave the big stuff there. They will charge your gran, tell them her new address.

It's not your responsibility... this happened with a friend of mine recently. Just go and take the personal possessions and anything you want to keep, and leave the rest there. It's for the council to sort out.

Yes just drop the keys into the office.

And don't forget that whilst you are focusing on all the practical issues you also need to look after the emotional side of going through this. Your Gran is at end of life stage and she obviously means a lot to you or you wouldn't be doing all this. Leave some space for this

ClareBlue absolutely. I was just thinking how sad that OP is having all this stress about her grandmothers things. It's the last thing her gran would want and thank goodness (i hope) she isn't aware of any of it.

I have no grandkids yet, but i have 4 DCs and the thought of one of their children ending up stressing over my belongings when i'm old and fading is just bizzare and really upsetting.

Death is the one certainty of life and yet when it comes to it the whole process seems to be shrouded in confusion and complicated red tape making everything worse for those left behind :(

I would just leave it. If you are a worrier write to the council and tell them you don’t have any power of attorney and are not the next of kin so you don’t have the legal right to remove any of your gran’s property. Then leave it up to them.