To let someone else clean it up?

[itsrainingandpouringgg]

My gran is 99 and lives in a council flat in a high rise building on the 11th floor.
I've been her full time unofficial carer for over 15 years.
She has advanced dementia and moved Into a care home 7 weeks ago.
She broke her hip,now she is in the final stages.
My aunt lives abroad and hasn't visited in 6 years.
None of my other cousins visited.
I've been left to sort everything out.
Had to find home,make hard decisions,wore myself to the ground.
No friends no family of my own.
Now the council have told me I have to remove the large items myself from the flat
The items are really old and shabby and no charity organisations would want them.
I can't carry a bed,a cooker a wall unit etc etc on my own.
The council said it's my responsibility
It's not my flat it was my grans.
The council will remove them for a charge but I would need to carry them downstairs.
I don't have the strength.
Aibu to just leave them?

[Gogogadgetarms]

I thought this was going to be about poo or puke.
YA so NBU OP.

And in relation to the wider family. At least you’ll be able to hold your head up high and know you did everything you could for your dear Gran. Good for you OP.

[HyacynthBucket]

So sympathise OP having had to deal with something similar singlehanded once. It is totally overwhelming.

Just wondering whether any of this is your responsibility. Your grans children (your aunt, your parent?) would be the ones responsible. The council are telling you to do it because it is convenient for them, and you are obviously a responsible person, but I don't think it is actually your responsbility at all. Tell your aunt that the flat has to be cleared, It will then be over to her to deal with it . She will just have to hire a company to do it or come over herself. Her problem, not yours. Just concentrate on your gran now, not the stuff in her flat.
Best wishes to her and you.

[mrsBtheparker]

You have zero responsibility for this financially or morally. It happens all the time and the council have capacity to remove items under these circumstances

This. We had an elederly cousin who we found dead when we visited him, we removed what we could manage, relevant paperwork etc and some photo albums, the rest was dealt with by the Council to whom he paid full rent.

[ilikemethewayiam]

Get legal advice. It is not your property therefore I don’t see how legally it is anything to do with you. It sounds like they are trying it on.

[HyacynthBucket]

I also meant to say just now, no way is the cost of this your responsibility. Don't take that on. Some posters are suggesting sharing the cost with your aunt. Why? The responbility for doing the clearing and for the cost of it falls on any children your gran has, not on you.

[julybaby32]

Following on from what Getting said about hidden money - Take drawers out of chests of drawer, examine the bottom and backs of them and inside the base. underneath any paper lining drawers.
(Never found money, but it's where my friend used to hide stuff from her Annoying Little Sister that she didn't want her to read when we were 12 or so.)

[Lucked]

Maybe they think you have power of attorney for her finances. Email them explain that you don’t and that you don’t have the means or the money to sort it and that they should bill your gran.

[starfish4]

As said before, I'd reiterate you don't have Power of Attorney and you're not the next of kin so don't feel it's your responsibility to empty the flat.

[oakleaffy]

@itsrainingandpouringgg

I'd say it's NOT your responsibility to do a house clearance.

The items are probably heavy and worth little...But do check, just in case there are some items of monetary value in there that a charity might want?

I feel for you having to do this, I'd leave it to the Council to do...It's not like you are gaining an inheritance from her house, in which case I'd say ''Your responsibility''.

Well done for being your Grandmother's full time carer up to now.

Relatives can be deeply selfish..
An older woman was bereft when her only child emigrated..
The adult child never visited...and the Mum was too poor to get the flights...
However , when the Mum died, the daughter was back in a flash, sorting her huge inheritance ...so, so selfish.

I'd leave the stuff for council to clear.

The light weight bric a brac can be taken to charity shops by you, perhaps?

[itsrainingandpouringgg]

@SchadenfreudePersonified I'm north east too.
I have seen painters going into empty properties here too and painting

[wizzbangfizz]

This sounds really tough, I think you have done all you can do just leave it or ask another relative to shoulder the cost

[itsrainingandpouringgg]

@HyacynthBucket hi my mum passed away when I was 13 and my aunt emigrated.
My other family members are worse than useless

[AlwaysLatte]

They're trying it on - her name is on the flat, not yours. They can ask you to but they don't have a legal right to make you or fine you for it.

[BlueJag]

Do what you can and that's all. 15 years is a long time. You've done amazing. It is a thankless task.

[MrsSpenserGregson]

I think you've posted about your situation before OP, before your gran went into the care home? The aunt living abroad sounds familiar.

I am so sorry that your gran has got to this stage, but hopefully she will be well cared for now in her final days, and you will be able to focus on spending some time with her without the burden of taking all the caring responsibilities on by yourself, which you have been doing amazingly for the past 15 years.

As for the council - as everyone else has said, although more politely than I am going to - seriously, sod them! A 99 year-old woman with dementia has been left on the 11th floor with no official carer for years (you've saved them a fortune by doing the care yourself), and now they have the nerve to suggest that you do the last bit of heavy lifting too? Pah.

[The80sweregreat]

I'm sorry your going through this. It sounds hard and councils only care about getting the key back and not how to actually move all the furniture. We even had an hours trip to the council offices to return them for my mils place , but my dads borough did come round to collect them , so all councils are different.
When we had to clear our parents council places we had to organise a home clearance company to remove everything we didn't want to keep. It wasn't cheap , but if your nans place isn't very big it might not be quite as much. They sent some to charity and skipped the bigger items.
It was worth it as we couldn't have moved things on our own. Get a few quotes as prices can vary.
Hope you can sort it out.

[The80sweregreat]

Councils do have a nerve I'm afraid: even when my dh went up to the council offices to return the keys they wouldn't let him in at first and he had an appointment!
My inlaws lived there for over 60 years and always paid their way , but they didn't even wrote to my dh to say thanks for leaving it empty and clean nothing!
They have been terrible to you as well I'm afraid but it doesn't surprise me at all.
I'm sorry you've had to go through this.

[NorthDowns]

I work for a housing department. Just leave the stuff honestly you should see some properties that come back to us. I really really recommend you look after yourself. DO NOT clear the flat. Hand the keys in & walk away. Do not respond to any correspondence either, it is not your tenancy nor do you have any obligations to the housing.

Take care x

[HowFastIsTooFast]

If it's anything like where I live OP there's always 'A man with a van' looking to make a few quid for clearing and taking stuff to the dump, can you get on any local facebook pages and ask around? The ones round here have been doing it for next to nothing just recently as they've been short of work and will take anything they can get x

[Happyadventurer]

I'm chipping in again because I am concerned about the amount of bad advice you are being given. There is a lot of good advice given too and a lot of lovely support but some of the bad advice can lead you into bigger problems. I am retired now but I was a social worker for over 20 years so maybe I can simplify things and take some of the stress away. You have enough to cope with in finding somewhere to live and grieving for your gran, that is enough.
Firstly, you do not have power of attorney so therefore no authority to act on her behalf, no access to her bank account, and unless you have been through probate, no authority to dispose of her property. If there are no substantial funds or property then probate is uneccessary. You are not next of kin so, if it does go to probate, it would be your aunt who would be expected to deal. Complicated, I know, as she lives abroad.
Secondly, I'm assuming that gran is in a local authority care home. If that is so then a social worker will have done an assessment and placed her there. That being so a financial assessment will have been done and any assets that gran has will be used to pay for her care. Her pension will have been included and will be paid directly to social services by one means or the other. You have no financial responsibility for her.
As the council will only accept calcelling the tenancy at the social workers request they are accepting that social services, not you, have responsibility for her. I wonder, as you don't have power of attorney, if they have been to the Court of Protection on her behalf. If they have this makes gran 100% their responsibility.
Elder peoples care, in my experience, is the 'kinder' side of social services and they are generally very amenable to helping. You haven't 'dumped' your relative, you have been loving and supportive and they will appreciate that.
The council are trying it on. Refer them to the social worker.
The social worker is unlikey to bat it back in your direction but if they do just say no.
Hand back the keys. If you don't feel able to do it in person then post them but make sure it is recorded delivery. Personally, I would hand them over at the council offices and get a reciept for them.
Whatever you do, don't part with any money. If they bill you send the bill to sicial services. She is in their care. Honestly, social workers deal with this all the time. You are not being unreasonable.
So, basically, refer council to social services, take what you need, close the door, hand back the keys. Keep repeating the mantra 'speak to the social worker.'
Good luck :)

[CaptainMyCaptain]

@HowFastIsTooFast

If it's anything like where I live OP there's always 'A man with a van' looking to make a few quid for clearing and taking stuff to the dump, can you get on any local facebook pages and ask around? The ones round here have been doing it for next to nothing just recently as they've been short of work and will take anything they can get x

Just make sure he is taking it to the dump and not fly tipping. There has been a lot of fly tipping round here.

In any case, as has been said here several times, it isn't the OP's responsibility to do this.

[Happyadventurer]

BTW, I second what previous posters have said about hidden money. We often came across £££££££ that had been stashed away in little hidey holes.

[oakleaffy]

@HowFastIsTooFast

If it's anything like where I live OP there's always 'A man with a van' looking to make a few quid for clearing and taking stuff to the dump, can you get on any local facebook pages and ask around? The ones round here have been doing it for next to nothing just recently as they've been short of work and will take anything they can get x

Ugh....So this explains the fly tipping that has been blighting open spaces recently!
Getting stuff removed ''Properly'' costs a lot..as the removers have to pay to dump it.

Cheap vans will drive to the nearest out of the way spot and dump it...A vile thing to do. Pissy mattresses, old sofas, fridges, ...It is areal blight on the landscape 🤬

[BubblyBarbara]

Don't move it if you can't. The council have people who sort this stuff out. You see it all the time on those TV documentaries. They aren't going to bill a 99 year old woman with dementia for it.

[oakleaffy]

@CaptainMyCaptain
Spot on re fly tipping..
A builder mate was stopped by blokes in a van and asked ''Do you want rubble clearing?''...He refused, as he says cheap rubbish clearance ends up in the Countryside.

It costs more if there is ''Mixed'' rubbish, too... Eg, steel bath, porcelain sink/loo rubble from lath and plaster, old floor coverings..

Vans can't use local tips, either, without paying.