To let someone else clean it up?

[itsrainingandpouringgg]

My gran is 99 and lives in a council flat in a high rise building on the 11th floor.
I've been her full time unofficial carer for over 15 years.
She has advanced dementia and moved Into a care home 7 weeks ago.
She broke her hip,now she is in the final stages.
My aunt lives abroad and hasn't visited in 6 years.
None of my other cousins visited.
I've been left to sort everything out.
Had to find home,make hard decisions,wore myself to the ground.
No friends no family of my own.
Now the council have told me I have to remove the large items myself from the flat
The items are really old and shabby and no charity organisations would want them.
I can't carry a bed,a cooker a wall unit etc etc on my own.
The council said it's my responsibility
It's not my flat it was my grans.
The council will remove them for a charge but I would need to carry them downstairs.
I don't have the strength.
Aibu to just leave them?

[fascinated]

@Thecobwebsarewinning

I would just leave it. If you are a worrier write to the council and tell them you don’t have any power of attorney and are not the next of kin so you don’t have the legal right to remove any of your gran’s property. Then leave it up to them.

Do this

[YorkshirePud1]

Sorry you're going through such a stressful time. As others have said, you have absolutely no obligation to do this yourself. They're trying it on because of course it would be cheaper and easier for them for you to do it, but if you don't, they'll simply call in their own house clearers once you've handed the keys back. I used to work for the former tenants team for a housing association, so not much different. This happened all the time and the families/next of kin were never pursued for any rent or rechargeable repairs and clearance costs. Ultimately they'll just want the house back sooner rather than later to re-let it.

[nannybeach]

Its not your responsibility, You have done more than your fair share. I cannot believe posters saying its your grans resposibility and has she got any money!! Do you realise what end stage dementia means. Give the keys back, plus her Nursing Home address. Its costs hundreds of pounds to use a cleaning service, even "Man with Van", is £200 to get rid og a bit of garden waste. Try Freecycle or similar first, you will get people who are glad of some stuff, good luck

[FrankieChips]

Jeeeezz..why can't the council just clear it? They must have departments for this kind of thing. Sorry it's all been put on you It's really not fair. I hope your Grandmother does well in the care home.

[BadgersBum]

Cynical due to bitter experience here but try telling your aunt and cousins that she's died rather then gone into a home, I bet they all get their arses round to see what they're having out of her possessions faster than you can blink. While they're there, they can help!

[tsmainsqueeze]

I had a similar situation with an elderly cousin of my late grandads , i took on unofficial responsibility for her as every one else in family was also elderly.
She lived alone in a council house which had been her home for 60+ years ,she had little savings.
The house was dirty, she was quite feisty and would only accept help with cleaning on her terms .
Myself and my husband worked very hard emptying what we could prob 95% , but left a few large things and carpets .
I said that we could not do anymore, council were fine with me , i think that they were quite surprised and grateful that so little was left.
No come back to me or the cousin who had been moved into care .
Do the majority but don,t stress over it , i don,t think they can do a lot as its not your home / belongings.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

If your gran has the means to pay, then sadly you’re going to end up do having to arrange that.
Or contact your aunt and TELL her she needs to pay for items to be removed (as next of kin it probably is your aunt who should remove it).

It also sounds as though the social worker let your gran stay in her own home long after she ought to have gone into residential car -maybe they are just overworked and as you were taking care of her, they left you to it (no good deed goes unpunished . . . ). But this lot certainly isn't your responsibility. Let someone else do it and claim the cost from your gran's estate. Bless her, at this age she is unlikely to be with you much longer, and I can bet my bottom dollar that there will be more relatives creeping out of the woodwork than you an shake a stick at, and your aunt will be first in line.

Not your problem. You have no responsibility - and what a wonderful grandchild she has had in you. But you need to step away from this now, for your own sake. Don't let the council or social services or family bully you.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@BadgersBum

Cynical due to bitter experience here but try telling your aunt and cousins that she's died rather then gone into a home, I bet they all get their arses round to see what they're having out of her possessions faster than you can blink. While they're there, they can help!

Good suggestion here!

[LakieLady]

I feel your pain, OP. When my mother died, the council gave me 2 weeks to clear out her house. She was a hoarder, so I really could have done with 2 years!

Luckily, most of the big stuff was in decent nick. I did a gazillion trips to the tip, put out enough rubbish to fill 2 bin lorries (and left a note for the bin men apologising and £20 for a drink!), and a local charity came and collected all the decent stuff, including furniture, fridge-freezer, clothes, crockery - everything that could have been sold or gifted to people in need. I had help from my brother for one day, and 2 friends for 2 days.

It nearly killed me. If social services had been involved, I'd have left it to them, for sure.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

I cannot believe posters saying its your grans resposibility and has she got any money!!
I think people mean that it is the OP's gran's responsibility in legal terms, obviously she does not have the capacity or the funds to do anything herself so responsibility then falls to the social worker who ended the tenancy.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Nah op leave it. Hand in the keys. They'll make a charge against any money she has bit of she's got none they'll just swallow it. Likely won't even try tbh. Decade in social housing tells me them clear it and forget it

[goatley]

Sorry to hear this OP.

Ultimately it's not your problem. Take the personal items that you would like to keep and leave the rest.

As a pp said just write a note with gran's new address and give back the keys. If the tenancy was in her name then it's her flat.

Don't give it any more thought - just make the most of the time you have left with your gran

[SleepingStandingUp]

@FrankieChips

Jeeeezz..why can't the council just clear it? They must have departments for this kind of thing. Sorry it's all been put on you It's really not fair. I hope your Grandmother does well in the care home.

They do, but some will try and save money if they can guilt family into doing it.

[StealthNinjaMum]

Op I don't have anything new to add but wanted to send hugs and say that you are amazing for doing so much for your gran on your own. It really isn't your responsibility to do this. Empty the flat of small items (if you wish) and just leave the big ones for the council to deal with.

[GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER]

It sounds as if they’re trying it on. I don’t see how they can compel you to do it - it’s not your flat. As pps have said, if she had no relatives they’d have to sort it out.
If your GM had any savings, any cost could come out of that.

Just a word, though - people with dementia often hide money in all sorts of weird places - inside books or magazines, in old shoes/handbags/cornflakes packets, you name it.

So it’d be well worth checking absolutely everything that could possibly serve as a ‘ container’, before leaving it for clearance.
A colleague of mine found over £2000 stashed in between piles of newspapers and magazines, when clearing the flat of an old uncle who’d had dementia. And this sort of thing is not remotely uncommon.

[Skinandbones]

Just thinking, could you put them on a local page but add them as furniture to be done up. If its just the look and they are sturdy someone may want them.

[Doyley47]

It is not your responsibility. When my 97 yr old uncle died I went to the council estate office and asked if I would have to pay for clearance. They said that they would handle it and always did for very elderly tenants. They would have to do this anyway if she had no family. The worst they could do is bill her or her estate, if she had anything, for clearance. You are not legally bound to do this, they are trying it on. Just pay rent up to date and give them the keys back.

[jessycake]

The council will have to move them , and charge to your grandmother. If you have access to her bank account you may be able to pay a clearance company . This must all be so stressful for you x

[katy1213]

Leave it for the council. They'll have a couple of strong blokes up there in no time. They might bill your grandmother but it's not going to worry her now!

[CaptainMyCaptain]

They do, but some will try and save money if they can guilt family into doing it.
To be fair it is Council Tax payer's money they are trying to save i.e. yours and mine. It is only reasonable that they check if there is someone else who can pay. There is a procedure to be gone through but the OP shouldn't be the one who has to pay for it in this situation.

[Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel]

You have zero responsibility for this financially or morally. It happens all the time and the council have capacity to remove items under these circumstances


This.


They're trying it on massively OP. When tenants go into care of pass away and have no friends or relatives or when people get evicted and leave stuff behind, councils have to get rid of the remaining items and have teams of people employed to do so. They're taking the piss.

I'm sorry about your Gran and that you're going through this.

[MorganKitten]

I took the important things from my nans and the council cleared the rest when she moved to a care home.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

It sounds as if they’re trying it on. I don’t see how they can compel you to do it - it’s not your flat. As pps have said, if she had no relatives they’d have to sort it out.
If your GM had any savings, any cost could come out of that.

Just a word, though - people with dementia often hide money in all sorts of weird places - inside books or magazines, in old shoes/handbags/cornflakes packets, you name it.

So it’d be well worth checking absolutely everything that could possibly serve as a ‘ container’, before leaving it for clearance.
A colleague of mine found over £2000 stashed in between piles of newspapers and magazines, when clearing the flat of an old uncle who’d had dementia. And this sort of thing is not remotely uncommon.

This "hidden money" thing is a good point. The same happened with my Horrible Nanna- not as much as above, but about £400 stashed in the pages of books etc.

Check things like this. if you find any - keep it. Buy yourself something to remember her good times by. You deserve to have a little bit of a treat after all you did for her. Don't mention it to anyone else. They didn't shift their backsides, so none of their business.

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

@CaptainMyCaptain

They do, but some will try and save money if they can guilt family into doing it.
To be fair it is Council Tax payer's money they are trying to save i.e. yours and mine. It is only reasonable that they check if there is someone else who can pay. There is a procedure to be gone through but the OP shouldn't be the one who has to pay for it in this situation.

And these days the councils are so strapped for cash they are desperate to claw some back if they can.

But they do have housecleaning teams OP , and often "dirty teams" too (who go into properties which have been left soiled - some are unspeakably foul - or where someone has died and remained undiscovered for any length of time.

At one time here (North East), the council used to not just clear but re-decorate (just a tidy up - plain white walls, carpets cleaned etc), but I know now they don't have the funds for that so the new tenants are left to it.

[Sunrise234]

I'd take photos and put them on FB and freecycle for free. Explain that they'll need a van and what floor it's on and that you cannot help them move anything.

You could even sell some of the stuff - more work but at least you might make some money from it.
I would be worried about leaving it as I was billed from my ex-council house as I left the lino down. But as it's not your flat you might be ok.