Is it ok to call a child 'dough nose'?

[doughnose]

All throughout my childhood and well into adulthood one of my parents has referred to me as 'dough nose', often with attendant grabbing of my nose.

It might sound mad but I always assumed it was my fault for having a big, fat nose.

But now I'm wondering if parent is BU?

No that's a horrible thing to do.

That's a very mean thing to say and do.

But I don't understand why you would choose it as your username seeing as you dislike it so much

Was it your dad, by any chance?

Mine called me 'Rusty legs' because I once wet myself as a small child when he took me out.

@DramaAlpaca

That's a very mean thing to say and do.

But I don't understand why you would choose it as your username seeing as you dislike it so much

It's not my usual username I name changed for the thread

It’s never okay to call children or anyone for that matter names. Your parent is BU and very ignorant.

Fair enough. Sorry.

A family nickname, Nicknames are often not flattering.

@june2007

A family nickname, Nicknames are often not flattering.

It wasn't a nickname, my family nickname was something else.

This was something my parent used to say - usually when I was trying to talk about something important - just stare at my face then grab my nose and say 'dough nose'.

It's a cruel put down op. Just like the post by mumsymum above. Cruel and nasty because they can. Rise above it because you can

It’s nor an amazing nickname but there’s worse. A nickname within a family is just that. We have a dumpling - she’s size 8/10 and 5’8”, so definitely not a dumpling, but the name stuck. It was never about her being rounded.
The other is called anything from kitten, to midget, to milli (from millimetre). None are her name. She answers happily to each.

Name calling is cruel.

I think it's really not on to label a child in this way. Just awful.
I bet you have a perfectly unremarkable nose, @doughnose.

It was never a nickname, it was a pointed comment about my face.

Mumsymum the ironic thing is that I actually have a pointy and pretty small nose. I think you must be projecting

It's up there with "Concord'

Thankfully not my parents. It's a rude personal comment.

@CherryPavlova

It’s nor an amazing nickname but there’s worse. A nickname within a family is just that. We have a dumpling - she’s size 8/10 and 5’8”, so definitely not a dumpling, but the name stuck. It was never about her being rounded. The other is called anything from kitten, to midget, to milli (from millimetre). None are her name. She answers happily to each.

Dumpling is a horrible thing to call your kid.

@CherryPavlova - a nickname is just what? A reflection of your position in the family? Something that takes the Mick out of something physical? I had nick names but they were shortenings of my name. Where do your family nicknames come from?

Its awful. Both my children have nicknames used so frequently I end up saying them instead of their actual names but its things like Cocoa for my eldest because her little sister couldn't say Chloe properly and it just stuck. I couldn't imagine calling my children a name referring to their appearance in a negative way. Im staggered that anyone would think thats okay tbh

My mum called me 'chocolate muffin' for a year or so because my body naturally has love handles (size 6/8/10 no matter they remain stubbornly there).

She stopped when I exploded at her and asked why she was trying to give me a complex'.

Thanks for replies.

Said parent has dementia now and says all kinds of things I've had to learn to accept.

Just makes me look back to when they were (apparently) compus mentis and used to grab my face and insult me and wonder what was going on with them then. Perhaps the dementia had set in sooner than I thought or perhaps they just weren't very good at parenting.

Interesting to hear responses. Really encouraging mumsymum to seek therapy in light of their weirdness here.

My Dad called my lovely little sister "fatty" and used to sing the song "hey fatty bum bum" to her.
Bloody cruel.

Your parent is being horrible and it is weird and unpleasant thing to say. Even if said in a kindly way or in jest. Tell them now, stop saying it, it's hurtful.

I sometimes jokingly call mine "chicky boo" and similar daft names to make them smile, which can work well as I'm fairly straight and disciplined with them and it can lighten the mood when we all need to move on. I would never jokingly refer to a body part as that could give them a complex.

It sounds like your parents were selfish and not empathetic to how their words would damage you. Give yourself a hug or hit a cushion when you remember and feel sad about it, whatever works for you, and try not to dwell on it.

Your parents were very childish and mean.

OP, it's interesting that they did it when you were trying to talk about something important to you. That's abusive parenting, in my view, & sounds like a deliberate attempt to close you down via humiliation.

My father used to say I had a 'big mouth'. He did it so often (he was a malignant narcissist) that it became part of my image of myself without me even realising it. As an adult, a dentist once told me it was difficult to work on me because I had such a small mouth. I was stunned, & realised what I'd held onto about myself, which was a complete lie.