My in laws just gifted me scales for my birthday

[Lsquiggles]

It's my birthday and I feel absolutely shit after opening a present from my in laws... Fucking scales.

No matter how hard I've tried with them they've always made it clear they don't like me that much, this is just the lowest blow.

They're meant to come over on Saturday and I don't know how I'm meant to bite my tongue.

Should add that was for my Christmas- her birthday was 5 mths later

Huh. They wouldn’t be coming to me EVER how nasty is that! They are not in the kindness matters camp are there, I’m being serious they wouldn’t get in our house

I suggest you be out on Saturday enjoying a lovely spa day that someone gifted you. Go treat yourself & make sure they know that some people get you lovely presents

Well done, OP. Hope your husband comes through for you.

Don't be embarrassed op!they are incredibly rude and deserve a nice return gift on their birthdays of anything you know they don't like....how about a large framed photo of just you?something they will not like but not dare not put up😂
And please don't take that the wrong way,I am just going along with your post that they don't like you...
Take the scales back and get yourself something you like and stuff them!

When they come over get the scales out and get the in laws to weigh themselves, it will be a lovely way for them to demo the new scales.

A great passive aggressive gift:

www.theliterarygiftcompany.com/products/lady-macbeth-soap

Even better, it has the pointed strap line 'out, damned spot!'

The burial plot was inspired but this is cheaper. You could have a great time come Christmas playing these suckers at their own game.

Passive aggressives are the worst. Adults who behave as adults use open, direct methods of communication when they have an issue they want to address. PAs always bank on a degree of plausible deniability to make it seem it's their target who is over-sensitive, rather than they who are insensitive or rude. This makes them not only childish, but cowardly with it.

Some DILs are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If this is the case then you know what the answer is - don't.

Ps. Happy birthday, OP 🌹🌹🌹

Gifts should be things that people want or need. Nobody wants a set of weighing scales for their birthday (especially bog standard ones) and it’s such an odd gift that anyone who did want them would surely need to ask outright. So, they don’t know that you want them which means they are suggesting that you need them. It’s disgustingly rude.

This needs airing. I would absolutely have to say something about how insulting it was for them to give you birthday a gift which clearly tells you they think you’d benefit from checking your weight. If you can’t face doing that, given that they are his parents, your partner needs to talk to them about what an inappropriate, upsetting and insulting present it was.

They need to apologise. I’m shaking my head here. How dare they?!

I'd have just handed it back and said no thanks.

Fuck em

@sunflowersandtulips50

They were very very rude and your DH stating it wasnt malicious- how does he know that? Sending a woman a set of scales a year after having a baby is nasty......I wouldnt want to see them either. Let them come and see there DS and you head out with your baby first thing

This.

Your DH needs to pull his head from his arse and realise that giving scales to a woman who's had a baby is one of the biggest ways of showing someone you don't like them. It was a nasty thing for them to do, a very passive aggressive snub.

I hope he does actually cancel the visit, and doesn't attempt to minimise it. He needs to know what he's risking by not sticking up for you.

@Lsquiggles

I'd happily go out and leave them to it but my daughter gets upset when they're here because she doesn't know who they are as they hardly see her < not envy

But I thought they cropped up every month to pretend they care?!

How much is a budget cardboard coffin?

Free - you could just get some large boxes from the supermarket and get the kids to paint them.

he was as stunned as me but doesn't think they did it in a malicious way

And there's your issue right there. Your dh doesn't have your back.

My dh called his parents and told them the present had upset me and we will be returning it to them, they said they didn't mean it in a mean way and they just noticed when they came round we don't have scales so thought it would be a good gift they are calling tomorrow to apologise to me apparently but I don't even want to speak to them after they've ruined my birthday for me.

Needless to say they aren't coming on Saturday and I'm done being a doormat to keep the peace

If an adult wanted scales they’d buy them. Scales aren’t expensive.

I also agree my dh needs to grow a pair and stop acting like a small child who is afraid to stand up to his parents. I won't be biting my tongue anymore

OP,

If the scales!! have been dropped from your eyes, and you will no longer bite your tongue at their rudeness, or your husband's weakness, then their present has been a real gift.

Don't take any more guff from any of them.
Life is too short.
Don't allow twats, including your husband spoil your birthday.

Excellent - they won't be so quick off the mark with the offensive gifts in the future! Well done for not accepting the 'not malicious' shit.

@billy1966 I'm inclined to agree actually! After years of passive aggressive shit from his parents, it's all crystal clear now. Won't be wasting anymore time or effort on them.

Good on you for cancelling the visit. Have a great in-law free day on Saturday and don't forget to take loads of pictures!

Good for you, OP!!

Why would basic body weighing scales be a good birthday gift?? Aren’t birthday gifts supposed to be personal - instead of generic household items? So why wouldn’t you take this personally?

I wouldn’t speak to them on the phone either. They’ll just be full of excuses and will try to spin this back on you somehow. You’ll only come out of the conversation feeling more frustrated than before