To wonder why up to 35 is now considered young

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve just seen an article where young people are referred to as being up to 35. Aibu to wonder why this is when it used to be 25 maximum that was viewed as a young person.

15 years ago my MIL in their 50s were talking about becoming middle aged.

However you look at their wedding photos them very late teen/early 20 and their parents in their 40s and 50s were dressed already as old people and apparently acted like it though the one just pushing 40 lived into their 90s.

In their 50s my IL were going on exotic holidays were out two or three times a week on top of working - they wore jeans and modern style clothes. In comparrison to their parents at same age they must have felt young. They were also initally upset they were grandparents as they were too young despite DH being a decade older than when they became parents.

Late 60s early 70s their slowing down really quickly but would refer to themsleves as middle aged rather than old - old is other people still people in next decades up.

I suppose that's trickled down - in my early 40s I'm probably middle aged but seems an odd label to apply when IL refer to themselves as that.

People live a lot longer and life expectancy is much higher so in the scheme of things 35 is relatively young.

I don't blame people for wanting to celebrate this. Not a day goes by on here without someone asking if they are "too old" to have their ears pierced, or go to a nightclub or post a selfie or have any kind of fun at all on the basis that they're older than 22 and therefore have to behave like a Stepford Wife. People are so miserably judgemental about "age appropriate" behaviour when it comes to women.

So let's all crack on and be as young as we feel.

When I was 16, I thought 35 was old.
When I was 35, my (younger) brothers thought 35 was middle-aged.
Now that I'm 60+, I think 35 is young.

It all depends on your perspective!

I think 35 is middle aged.

Surely it's all relative? I am early 60s many of my colleagues are early 30s I consider them 'young' (perhaps they consider me an oldie ). My parents are in their very late 80s, they consider me and my friends the same age as 'young'.

My parents were both retired at my age with very good pensions, that won't be happening me and my DH despite careful pension planning and years of savings ....

Ive always hated young people being aged up to 24...its ridiculous 18 and over is aan adult.
Annoys me when William and Harry are called boys

I'd say that 45 is middle aged, 35 is still young.

What is worse is that at 50 you re considered 'senior'.
The local lending library has several 'for Senior' or 'for the over-50s' books.
How patronising and ageist.

It IS young

I think that 35 is still young, and hardly middle aged (unless you think you’ll die around 70) which most people no longer do. As people live longer naturally the age span for these age categories increases.

I also think that most young professionals now really look after themselves and leave education in mid-20’s etc. settle down and have families much later. I feel as though middle age is as much about reached life stage e.g. grown up adult children, mortgages etc. as much as the age bracket - let’s be real most people at 35 have either just started having kids, or have young kids and are only just getting started on mortgages etc. Things that were previously associated with young people and starting out in the world.

35 is only middle aged if you are literally thinking of life expectancies. But it is not the proper definition, most definitions put it at 45-65. It’s a concept of age rather than a literal description. So people who say anything under 45 is middle aged are mistaken by the definition of the phrase.

I consider under 35 young and always have done. I don’t know anyone in my generation who had children (and many didn’t own property) till after then. I’m 43 and don’t consider myself middle aged - because I am not.

Only people 35 or older think 35 Is young! Had a new starter at work aged 21 and was showing her around. Most of the team are in their 50's but I made a point of taking her to meet the ones in their 30's saying ' It will be great for you to meet some of our young colleagues '. When we arrived her face was a picture and I could see her searching the room for the young people! 30 is ancient when you have just left uni!

Please allow me my denial. Thank you.

Mike agree, there are some bizarre rules about 'how old is old' ... the first time I picked up my prescription after my 60th birthday I was told I no longer had to pay ... seems bizarre, I am still working ... my elderly parents have a very generous pension and are more than happy to pay for their medication but don't have to (I know not all over 60s are as fortunate).

30 is ancient when you have just left uni!

I think that’s only true of quite immature 20 somethings. At 20/21/22 I definitely didn’t see 30 as ancient or even old. It seemed to me like the age that a lot of people’s lives were beginning, when they got married, had first babies etc. 40 seemed quite old to me back then but then it was double my age. I remember being around 15 and my teacher having her 30th and while it seemed very far off to me, it wasn’t old. Our parents were “old” and most of them were in their 40s and 50s.

I teach at a university and my students are always saying things along the lines of “are you definitely old enough to be a lecturer?!” and saying I’m too young for x/y/z. None of them seem to think 30 is ancient. They seem to think that’s when things get “serious” and until then they can drift around a bit and then settle down at 30 “while they are still quite young”, their words, not mine. Clearly we all recognise that we aren’t “peers” by any stretch of the imagination but that doesn’t necessarily = ancient/decrepit

I've seen 80 year olds on other sites insisting they aren't old. People are delusional.

@whatisthenewnormal

Only if the categories are young & old! 35 is approaching middle age with a life expectancy of 82

Fuck how am I approaching middle age

@NameChange84

30 is ancient when you have just left uni!

I think that’s only true of quite immature 20 somethings. At 20/21/22 I definitely didn’t see 30 as ancient or even old. It seemed to me like the age that a lot of people’s lives were beginning, when they got married, had first babies etc. 40 seemed quite old to me back then but then it was double my age. I remember being around 15 and my teacher having her 30th and while it seemed very far off to me, it wasn’t old. Our parents were “old” and most of them were in their 40s and 50s.

I teach at a university and my students are always saying things along the lines of “are you definitely old enough to be a lecturer?!” and saying I’m too young for x/y/z. None of them seem to think 30 is ancient. They seem to think that’s when things get “serious” and until then they can drift around a bit and then settle down at 30 “while they are still quite young”, their words, not mine. Clearly we all recognise that we aren’t “peers” by any stretch of the imagination but that doesn’t necessarily = ancient/decrepit

Definitely agree with this. I don’t think any of my friends thought 30 was old when we left uni. I worked in admin when I was 18 and hung about with the 30 year olds there. They seemed no different to me. Liked to go to the pub. Dressed the same. Had similar interests etc

I worked in a school when I was coming up to my 30th and the kids who were 12/13 thought I was young because I had no kids and wasn’t married. They didn’t seem to think about the number, more the life experience as a maturity marker.

I've had this in a survey: What age are you?

Under 15
15-24
25-34
35-44
45-54
55-64
65 or older.

As soon as I turned 35, I ticked the 35-44 box.

35-44 is middle aged.

Reality sucks.

I think it's a matter of context. Young, as in "in need of advice and a hand up the ladder of life", is very different from young, as in "not starting to feel creaky yet".

There are, as noted above, an awful lot of schemes for "young" people. Most of these are designed to help people get into the workforce for the first time, first step on their careers. By the age of 30, if you aren't already working your way up then I'm afraid in general you aren't likely to be helped any by these schemes (awaits screams from posters with exceptional cases that prove me wrong).

Youth is relative and the median age is rising in developed countries. Guess that sums it up, really.

Definitions of middle aged YouGov survey shows the majority of people define middle age as 50-70. Wikipedia says it’s 45-65 citing various sources.

I am 30. I have 2 children, a mortgage, a failed marriage; one deceased partner, one ex husband, a lot of dead friends; sometimes very dificult experiences and a rather cynical outlook on life. I have been an adult for what feels like the whole of my life.

In contrast, my best friend lives with her mum still, travels a lot, has short lived passionate relationships and no children, and in general lives an utterly different life to me. We have known each other since we were young teenagers - in that time I have aged in a way she has not. We still look the same age, but behave very diferently most of the time. She is still young, I don't feel like I am anymore; not middle aged, but not young either.

I think that it is responsibility, rather than age, which denotes youth. The age at which we are expected to start taking on responsibilities has changed, largely I suspect due to different working patterns and oppertunities to previous years. I picked an old fashioned life, was a married SAHM in my very early 20s. My responsibilities aged me in a different way to the friends who went traveling and to uni, then worked in short contracts and unstable employment.

I guess it all depends on an individuals own life experience.

I’m 38, I still feel young!

I tend to band ages as follows:

0-18 - childhood
18-25 - young adult
25-35 - adult
35-55 - middle aged
55-70 - older adult
70+ - elderly

However I don't consider middle aged to be a negative thing. In my family we have children in our twenties so by 35 our children are becoming more independent and we have grown in confidence in ourselves and what is actually important to us and we start to have the time to pursue those things.

My mum is now at the upper end of middle aged and her life is so full of the stuff she really enjoys and her social life is amazing. I am in the exhausting years of young children at the moment but hope that in the next 5-10 years I will reach that point in my life too. Can't wait :)