To think that if you raise a child vegetarian you need to offer them more variety than fake meat??

[Reddletweedle]

We haven’t seen DSD throughout lockdown and have just started seeing her again. Her mum has been vegetarian for a while and is controlling of DSD in general (separate issue), refused to prepare her meat (fair enough In own home) but also refused to allow her to order meat dishes when eating out. Pre lockdown DSD loved eating meat when with us, now she has decided to be veggie like her mum.
I make most of the meals and do the grocery shopping order so was asking DSD what she likes to eat as a vegetarian now. I make quite a lot of veggie dishes and snacks to give my children (DS3 and DD1) plenty of variety as well as meat and before contact stopped DSD usually opted for meat meals so didn’t have the same as my own kids if they were having something veggie. Have to say I was surprised when she said she usually has quorn burgers or quorn sausages. I asked if she ate other vegetarian food besides pretend meat - stir fries, curries, veggie omelettes, hummus, falafel, bean burgers nut roasts.... She hasn’t ever tried the dishes I suggested. I didn’t think I suggested anything particularly exotic - aren’t stir fries, curries and omelettes affordable, nutritious weekly staples of family life?
Am I unreasonable to think that if you are coercing a child into following your veggie mindset you should be encouraging them to eat more variety than simply swap real meat for fake meat???

Well it's great to see that your are offering much healthier options than the ones her mother is coercing her into

@ChangeThePassword is there something wrong with a bacon sandwich As a treat twice a month as part of other more balanced dishes she has with us?

Missing the point here, but YABU to offer her separate food from the food you are eating (i.e. meat substitutes). If you're eating veggie food, just offer her what you're having and don't bother making another option. Children should eat what their parents are having, so long as it's nutritious.

It’s just funny that you seem so obsessed with what she eats and then you take so much joy in her ‘demolishing a bacon sandwich in under a minute’.... a plate of saturated fat. 🤣

Lol change good spot

I do love bacon though and could also happily demolish a bacon sandwich quicksmart!

This thread has made my morning.

You can't criticise her mother for giving her the food she wants when you do exactly the same!

The food waste must be dreadful if you buy a pack of bacon for one sandwich for one person.

Anyway, despite everyone else seeing through you, based on your own words, I'm sure you will continue to think that you are not at all hypocritical. And that's your choice to make.

kids can be fussy eaters. it really is as simple as that - veggie or not. you've got no business commenting on what her mother thinks is best for her. you also do not know what her mother makes her on a daily basis. all you know is that your dsd likes fake meat. your post is so judgy against her mum, you obviously have an underlying issue with her and have latched onto this.

If your family does not eat meat substitutes, don’t buy them. Make your regular meals, without meat. If you’re making a stir fry or a curry, set some aside before you add the meat. If you’re making pasta, use a marinara or a cheese sauce. I was a vegetarian when I was young and my mother wasn’t about to make separate meals for me, but I ate what the rest of the family did, minus the meat. Don’t worry about what she eats when she’s with her mother, just think bout the choices you give her at yours.

Slightly unreasonable I think. But purely because you’re questioning someone else’s parenting choices for no particular reason. If she’s not unhealthy, and she will eat a variety of foods, what’s the big deal?

Yes, I’m sure in an ideal world all children would be offered a wonderful variety of food from different cultures, with different tastes and textures. But I can’t see how this is worse than when I give my DD a mid-week meal of sausage and mash with some veggies.

Am I unreasonable to think that if you are coercing a child into following your veggie mindset you should be encouraging them to eat more variety than simply swap real meat for fake meat???

You sound like one judgey mare.

[quote Reddletweedle]**@bluebluezoo* and @NiceGerbil* you’re telling me a child who jumps at the opportunity to have a bacon sandwich at her dads, demolishes it in under a minute while says her mom won’t allow her meat and one of the things she loves about coming here is eating meat is undermining the mother and coercing a child? Ok then. We don’t even like bacon we only bought it in for DSD as a treat when she was coming here 😂😂 so in that example we had a veg omelette For lunch she had a bacon sarnie because we offered her a choice.
I don’t care if she eats meat or not. I support her decision whatever it is.[/quote]
Can tell you don’t have her often. You don’t offer a kids a choice between processed shit and healthy food. You offer them a choice betweem two types of healthy food.

@Reddletweedle nice try but I’m vegan. I restricted my comments to vegetarianism because that’s what you were discussing (even though none of your criticisms are actually specific to vegetarianism and apply just as much to omnivores, but for some reason you’re holding vegetarians to a higher standard).

I think its perfectly reasonable to want your child to be vegetarian when you are. You tend to want the best for your child, you become vegetarian because you think it's better than eating meat so yeah seems perfectly reasonable to want to uphold that for your child.

If the kid has more desire to eat meat then meat substitutes is obviously the best answer for her. I eat mostly meat substitutes, I'd be very pissed off if a meat eater started telling me how to be vegetarian or criticising my ethics to be vegetarian and not vegan (as you just did to someone else).

But no, you're right, you're obviously far superior and would be a much better vegan, you clearly know all about it. 👌

Omelettes seem to come up a lot. And you mentioned butter bean curry....dd is meat and lactose free and wouldn’t touch either of those. You just have a fussy vegetarian on your hands. It’s really not a big issue. Try getting her to do some cooking with you. And be grateful she’s eating something. I can recommend the southern fried quorn nuggets!

YABU

I’m a veggie with a wide range diet, I rarely eat stir fries or curries 🤷🏽‍♀️

You just want to have a dig at the ex....

@NiceGerbil - I like your suggestion that I may well be depriving her of nutrients though grin people are funny. You have zero idea what I put in my cooking!

Which is why I said unless your meals normally include things like legumes with the meat.

If your normal meals include non-meat sources of B12 and iron, then that's fine. However, many meat based diets rely on meat for these nutrients.

B12 isn't usually an issue for veggies but if they are getting meals that are mainly a meat dish without the meat, it can be, unless they are eating dairy and eggs regularly.

Iron is definitely an issue if they are not getting it from a non-meat source. So if she's eating plenty of eggs, then no problem. If she's having mainly the likes of veg curry with no legumes or meat, then it may be an issue.

Butter bean curry - yuck! I've been vegetarian since I was 7 and vegan for the last 7 years. I haven't eat anything derived from an animal for over 30 years. I wouldn't touch butter bean curry with a barge pole. Give me a nice "processed shit" quorn sausage butty ta.

I agree with others. You are just looking to have a dig at the ex. I'm wildly superior with my nutritious made from scratch delicious meals and the nasty ex just feeds the poor child unnatural "pretend meat". Pull the other one.

Iron is definitely an issue if they are not getting it from a non-meat source. So if she's eating plenty of eggs, then no problem

Its not 'definitely an issue' at all. When I was pregnant I was an egg-hating veggie and was told by my midwife that my iron levels were really good, and higher than many meat eaters.

Admittedly she was surprised about that (as was I) but it's clearly perfectly possible to not have issues with iron levels as a vegetarian.

Where’s your husband in all of this?

[quote Reddletweedle]@nanbread yes I agree no diet is perfect. We have to consume something and whether we like it or not we have an impact on the planet. Even vegan crops need space to grow. Imported fruit and veg (avocado features heavily in vegan recipes!!) has a massive impact.
Humans don’t need dairy and although purchasing from a farm where the calves are allowed to suckle is preferable it’s not always available or affordable and there’s no such thing as ethical eggs. Sorry. I do eat eggs but it’s wrong.[/quote]
Avocado does NOT feature heavily in vegan recipes. Where does this BS come from? It's a very lazy bit of whataboutery to try and deflect from the unarguable environmental impact of meat eating. And it's not even true.

Really enjoying ochon's insistence on lecturing total strangers on their potentially dangerous diets

I love most beans, make falafel and bean burgers regularly, curries with chickpeas, black bean tostadas etc.

But I would not thank you for anything with butter beans. I don't know why they have such an awful texture, but no thanks.

Anne I suspect he's hiding in the shed and thinking about taking up golf, cycling or another activity that removes him from the whole thing

Pre lockdown DSD loved eating meat when with us, now she has decided to be veggie like her mum.

I don't understand why you're making a big deal out of the fact she used to love eating meat before lockdown and now doesn't want to eat it anymore. She's obviously decided she wants to be a vegetarian too.
People can change their mind fairly quickly you know. This year I decided to give up meat for Lent. Before Lent I loved meat and I fully intended to go back to it, albeit only a couple of times a week. However, after Easter I found I couldn't stomach meat anymore and have remained vegetarian.

You sound like you just want to criticize her mother and you come across as judgemental.
You have no idea what actually goes on in their house. Perhaps DSD is very fussy - it sounds like that to me - so her Mum cooks her the quorn and meat replacement meals which she will eat rather than ending up with a load of food waste.
However, I do think that in your house she should be eating what everyone else is. You can prepare vegetarian food when she is there and that's what she should eat. If you don't want to cook quorn burgers then don't.
You say you "suggested" various dishes - did you then cook them and offer to them or just ask her if she'd had falafel and clutched your pearls in horror that she hadn't?
Just make something and present it to her. She should then try it.
Maybe some of the parents on here can suggest how to deal with fussy eaters because that could be the problem.

I agree with you in theory , particularly in regards to the ethical vegetarianism , but I don't think you come across well here OP. I'm not a fan of fake surprise , a la your 'i was surprised she doesn't eat stir fries and omelettes '. You sound like you're looking down at her mother and that dilutes your views.