To wish my friend wouldn't keep sending me photos from her holiday while we're stuck in?

[MacduffsMuff]

DH is having an operation on Thursday. We were told that we had to completely self-isolate as a family (5 of us) for two weeks prior to his operation (we are in a hot spot). That's fine - he needs the operation and we'll all be relieved for him to have it. Keeping a 17 year old, 13 year old and a 12 year old in hasn't exactly been a ball but they've done it and only a few more days to go.

Friend is on holiday at the moment. She sends me about 6/7 photos every single day with 'isn't this beautiful, bet you wish you were here/ha ha ha sorry you're stuck in and we're living the life of riley' etc etc. All of the same ilk. Now, to be clear, I am not in any way resentful of the fact they are away on holiday (it's a very different holiday from one we would choose anyway) but in normal circumstances, she would never send me a million photos daily, it's purely because we are isolating and can't go out. It's actually pissing me off now because we're all fed up and it just seems a bit ... mean. I messaged her back yesterday with a cheery 'looks fab - maybe save the rest until you get back since we've all got cabin fever, have a lovely time'. But today I've had 3 of the beach, two of their lunch and I'm expecting more. It's a bit shit isn't it?

[MarshaBradyo]

It’s a shame you said ‘jealous cow’. Your friend will feel that she is in the right to try and make you feel shit.

[TorgosPizza]

She's being very weird. So awkward and rude! If she's off with you over that excessively polite message, I wouldn't bother answering her for a while (or forever). Not much of a friend.

[obscuringstumpy]

Send her a text asking if they have contents insurance for their house and then don't reply when she texts you to find out why.

[BlogTheBlogger]

@obscuringstumpy

Send her a text asking if they have contents insurance for their house and then don't reply when she texts you to find out why.

Love it!!

[sonjadog]

I would have left our the "jealous cow" bit. It makes it sound like you not liking the photos is your problem, not that she is doing something inappropriate.

I hope she stops sending them now.

[Ihaventgottimeforthis]

She's the cow, not you.
Don't try to make her feel better, she's not worth it, she clearly doesn't care for your feelings.
Just delete the chat.
'Thanks for sharing your holiday pics but I need to keep my phone memory for important stuff so I'm deleting this chat, see you when you get back if you need someone to talk to'.

[Lifetheuniverseandeverything]

Is she one of those tone deaf people that think you might enjoy the photos as you can’t be there???

You’re not jealous - you’re being hurt by a friend. Has she missed out on anything in the past that you could do but she couldn’t because of her anxiety; she might think she’s doing tit for tat? Protect your sanity by muting her x

💐

[MorganKitten]

Put her on mute now and focus on those closer to home x

[ButtonMoonLoon]

Wow, at best she’s insensitive, at worst really unkind.
You’ve tried dropping hints, so I think your message is spot on with the firm message delivered in a lighthearted way. If she takes offence at that then I’d be rethinking the friendship to be honest.

Has she replied yet?

[Sally872]

Good message honest and polite. A good friend will respect your request. I am shocked she hasn't realised this is shitty behavior but if genuine mistake she should stop and apologise.

[paddyclampitt]

Is she overseas? If she is I would commiserate her on spending so much money going on holiday when she would have had just as good weather in the garden!

[MumW]

Is she overseas? If she is I would commiserate her on spending so much money going on holiday when she would have had just as good weather in the garden!
If she ends up having to quarantine for 14 days, you'll have the last laugh!

[msflibble]

Good that you've sent a message politely telling her to knock it off OP. I also am a bit of a people pleaser at times but in my recent years have found that a bit of brutal honesty truly works wonders. And real friends can handle it.

She was being a gloaty twat. She may now have to deal with some bad feelings about that but it isn't your problem. You were very diplomatic about it but you still made your feelings fairly clear. I hope she's got enough maturity to see how she took the "joke" way too far.

[FinlandFlag]

Cow

[Gubbeen]

Exactly what @ShebaShimmyShake has said, OP. For instance, all your joky self-deprecation about being a ‘jealous cow’ has got you is the distinct possibility of her agreeing with you that you’re the one being unreasonable, and it giving her a narrative where you’re whiny and self-pitying etc — when in fact what you want to say is ‘Back off, insensitive holiday bore.’

Hope the surgery and recovery goes well, and you can rejoin the outer world in due course.

[RoseGoldEagle]

When you're a people pleaser, people don't actually like you, they just find you useful for this sort of shite.

It’s taken me waaaay to long in life to realise this too. Your message back to her was too nice- that’s because you’re a lovely person yourself, and have over-thought the kind of message you’d find acceptable if YOU acted in this way- except you never would act in this way!

You need to think- do I want this person in my life? It might be that overall she’s great and this is a weird blip, but if not- distance yourself, friendships shouldn’t be like this!

[MacduffsMuff]

She's read the message and hasn't responded so I'm going to leave it now. I like her very much but if she takes offence to this I'm not going to worry too much I kind of feel I've got other things on my mind at the mo really.

She's is abroad just now and it's not as hot as it is here, though it looks beautiful.

[stayathomer]

Perfect reply op, take care, hope something lovely happens for you all soon

[LadyEloise]

With a "friend" like that who needs enemies !!!!!!
B*tch