To wish my friend wouldn't keep sending me photos from her holiday while we're stuck in?

[MacduffsMuff]

DH is having an operation on Thursday. We were told that we had to completely self-isolate as a family (5 of us) for two weeks prior to his operation (we are in a hot spot). That's fine - he needs the operation and we'll all be relieved for him to have it. Keeping a 17 year old, 13 year old and a 12 year old in hasn't exactly been a ball but they've done it and only a few more days to go.

Friend is on holiday at the moment. She sends me about 6/7 photos every single day with 'isn't this beautiful, bet you wish you were here/ha ha ha sorry you're stuck in and we're living the life of riley' etc etc. All of the same ilk. Now, to be clear, I am not in any way resentful of the fact they are away on holiday (it's a very different holiday from one we would choose anyway) but in normal circumstances, she would never send me a million photos daily, it's purely because we are isolating and can't go out. It's actually pissing me off now because we're all fed up and it just seems a bit ... mean. I messaged her back yesterday with a cheery 'looks fab - maybe save the rest until you get back since we've all got cabin fever, have a lovely time'. But today I've had 3 of the beach, two of their lunch and I'm expecting more. It's a bit shit isn't it?

Tell her to fuck off!

I'm seriously pissed of with people like this too. Constant pictures of meals out, pubs, airports, beaches, going on Holidays then ignoring the rules there and when they come home. Especially when they know I've 3 shielding and a trip to the chemist is my fucking day out!!

I kind of liked when we were all in the same boat and no one could do anything. This is just all gloaty.

When I say anything to these people in told oh cop on, get out and live your life.

Hope your dhs surgery goes well.

@MacduffsMuff

I don't think she realises how it's coming across - she suffers really badly with anxiety and I'm the last person to make that worse for her but I really wish she'd stop!

She's not bothered about making your life worse. If you don't want to be blunt then just say "Please stop with the photos. I'm glad you are having fun"

That woman is not much of a friend but she is an absolute arsehole.

I suffer from anxiety, very badly and am diagnosed it doesn’t mean I have an excuse to treat people badly. Is she diagnosed or does she just say she has anxiety.

Oh goodness Op, just tell. "Please, no more photos. We feel fed up enough as it is. Have a lovely holiday, catch up when you're back."

I’d tell her that other people’s holiday photos are boring at the best of times.

“I’m sure you meant it as a joke to start with but we’re actually having a really hard time at the moment. Luckily I have some really supportive friends but you’re not really helping with the dogs and pictures. I’m glad you’re having fun but can I wait to hear about it when we’re on the home stretch and daves got the all clear please? See you when you get back. X”

Or

“Jesus I’m bored by other people’s holiday pictures at the best of times never mind when they’re trying to make a worrying situation worse! No more or I’m bloody blocking you! I’ll see them when we’re clear of the op, safe trip”

I think it's a weird thing to do at the best of times anyway-don't people just put stuff on Facebook or instagram?
In your situation she's being so insensitive and awful.

Or if you want to play the long game, wait till she's having a shit time and them reciprocate. If she says anything, you can reply 'Oh sorry, I was just cheering you up like you did for us back in August 2020!'

Start sending her loads of photos of every little detail of your normal life, like beans on toast, taking the bins out, cleaning the bath etc with suitably OTT commentary “can’t believe our rubbish gets taken away in a van every week! So #blessed!” etc.

what country is she in? I'd send constant links/headlines to the Covid crisis personally.

She's no friend OP, ignore her. I hope your DH op goes well.

"Glad you having fun but am a bit sensitive atm and starting to feel you are rubbing our noses in it a bit. Will catch up in a few weeks and you can show them to me then. "

I'd have told her to fuck off a long time ago.

Maybe message "Looks like you're having a fab time, but can you please stop with the photos as I'm feeling quite envious. Enjoy the rest of your holiday xx"

Yeah, that's mean

I re evaluated a couple of friendships back in March /April. I was deployed to covid ICU and they were out enjoying lovely walks in the sunshine whilst furloughed and making sure I saw detailed evidence of it

I am just back from a well deserved holiday and not advertising it on social media or otherwise

What an idiot

YANBU. Mute her til the end of the holiday. If she asks when she comes back just say it was a bit too much. She’s not feeling very responsible for your feelings, so you don’t need to feel too much for hers.

Just patch it up when she comes back.

Can you not just mute her on WhatsApp? Assuming she is sending the pictures via an Internet platform like that as opposed to via text. Don't open the emails?

Where is she? You could make some snide comment about it being downmarket

I'd just answer honestly - 'enough with the photos - we are having a tough time'

I think you need to be a bit clearer with her that you want the photos to stop. Having anxiety does not give you the right to be inconsiderate of other people's feelings (I speak as someone with diagnosed anxiety myself). If she doesn't stop, then mute her until she is home again.

You 'DF' is a tactless cow. One photo - fine - six or seven every day? She wouldn't be a friend of mine for long! I find streams of anyone else's holiday photos when they're of the bragging variety tacky tbh, but it's particularly unpleasant to send photos to people who are stuck at home, one in a lot of pain.