AIBU to think people would judge someone with a big photo of themselves on the wall?

[SinkGirl]

It was our tenth wedding anniversary yesterday. DH bought me a very large framed print of a photo from our wedding. The main focus of the photo is my face, next to me is my sister and next to us is my mum giving a speech. My mum passed away five years ago, and this is the only pic from the wedding of the three of us together without her shit of a husband.

The thing is that nobody would know any of this seeing the big picture on our wall - I’m worried that it will look really conceited and weird to have a big print of my own face on the wall! And that people would probably make assumptions about someone who has a big wedding photo on the wall that their husband isn’t in.

Am I being silly here? I do struggle with my self esteem so maybe this is just that. I would hate people to think I’m arrogant. I generally hate photos of me, but our wedding photos aren’t too bad as I wasn’t paying attention to them being taken.

YABU - I wouldn’t judge someone with a large photo of themselves on their wall

YANBU - it would look weird

I might have to get a similarly sized one of him with his family then it probably wouldn’t look weird! It is a lovely photo and really special to me so maybe I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks.

50x70 isn't huge. And it's not like it's only if you! I really wouldn't worry. Display it and enjoy it and your memories of your mum.

I wouldn't judge at all.

It is your house, OP, if it makes you happy, crack on! I do think you should get some help with your confidence, though. Life is too short and our homes should be places where we feel relaxed, happy and safe, not where we worry about being judged on our taste.

I think it sounds lovely as it's from your wedding day

Put it up op. You are allowed to have photos of yourself on your own all in your own house. You know the story behind the image so put it up and enjoy the memories.

Don't waste time and energy trying to avoid being judged by others because in doing so you only hold yourself back and stop yourself enjoying your life.

I don't understand why people think it's vain, shallow or narcissistic to have a photo of yourself in your own house, even if there is no back story and it's just a nice portrait. Being proud of yourself doesn't make you a dicksplash. Either that or I am a vain, self-centred arsehole! In our house there are photos of all of us, together and individually, as well as some of other family members and of my artwork.

Thanks everyone, you have really helped.

It’s a really lovely photo and it shouldn’t matter if others don’t get it.

And yes, my husband is lovely and really thoughtful. I definitely am lucky :)

without knowing the background,vI would judge but you shouldn't care what I think.

Yanbu

I do think you should get some help with your confidence, though

Yes I think you’re right. I have older friends / relatives who told me that they stopped caring what people thought as they got older and I hoped that would just happen naturally. It’s strange because in some ways I don’t care (happy to go out without make up on for example), I think I worry too much about what people think of my personality though. I would hate to be seen as full of myself and struggle to praise myself even when it’s deserved - I need to sort it out!

It’s funny because for DH’s 40th last year I commissioned a well known artist he loves to do a digital painting of him and our twins - hard to explain it but it’s sort of a realistic portrait, but in a funny environment. It’s in our lounge and we all love it, everyone who comes into the house loves it and I’m sure no one thinks he’s arrogant!

YABU. My house is full of photos of DH and I, our wedding day, amazing holidays we’ve had, experiences, of wonderful times with friends and family. I love to be surrounded by happy memories 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think it’s odd when people don’t have these sort of photos about their home.

I personally only let close friends and family into my home (with the occasional exception for essential visitors like plumbers etc!) so anyone likely to see a giant photo in my home would know the significance of it.

It means a lot to you. Keep it where it is.

OP..I have just looked at the photos on display in our house.

2 x wedding photos one and DH
The rest are of my late parents

...none of our very much loved girls ( my DSDs) ..so don’t read too much into it! Put up the photos you want and you don’t have to explain to anyone!

That should say “ of me and DH”

Ahhh he luuuuurves you, YABU 😊

I'd put it in a place that isn't your main living room tbh - have you an office or study, or your bedroom? That way it's not so much on display for visitors, but for you as a family.

It sounds fabulous I would absolutely put it up

It’s no one else’s business. I don’t judge people because it’s up to them what they have on their own homes.

Our bedroom or the (small) landing would be the only other place - our house is very little! Lounge and dining room are knocked into one, no wall space in the kitchen and the hall is dinky. Wouldn’t want it to be the first thing people see either 😬

I’ll either put it on the landing or see how it looks on the wall with lots of other framed pictures in the lounge - there’s a photo that’s a similar size that we could move so I could just try it there and see and move it if I don’t like it or people react weirdly!

I guess it’s hard to say without seeing it but I appreciate the honesty :)

It was my ten year anniversary yesterday to so happy anniversary
It's a special photo of a special day
So sorry about your mum x

It sounds lovely. If it will make you happy, put it to.

If it’s your favourite photo of your mum who cares what others think?

It’s a photo from your wedding and your family are in it, I think it sounds lovely.

Definitely not as weird as when my mum underestimated the size when she ordered her graduation photo. We call it her billboard

[quote SinkGirl]@EmbarrassingAdmissions Yikes. That’s what hell must be like.[/quote]
OP - I found it!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3783224-To-hide-these-items-unless-she-s-visiting

Oh good lord, that’s hilarious and scary. Maybe that poster and I could be friends who don’t judge each other :D

I have 2 big photos of me with my children when they were babies. They are really special to me. DH got them done for me on a significant birthday.
I display them on the upstairs landing. That way we're the only people who see them.

Op- at the risk of sounding stalkerish, you have a lot going on. That is not a huge photo. It’s not one of those wtf photos. Put it up. Happy family moments are important for You, and everyone to see.