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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think people would judge someone with a big photo of themselves on the wall?

80 replies

SinkGirl · 08/08/2020 11:23

It was our tenth wedding anniversary yesterday. DH bought me a very large framed print of a photo from our wedding. The main focus of the photo is my face, next to me is my sister and next to us is my mum giving a speech. My mum passed away five years ago, and this is the only pic from the wedding of the three of us together without her shit of a husband.

The thing is that nobody would know any of this seeing the big picture on our wall - I’m worried that it will look really conceited and weird to have a big print of my own face on the wall! And that people would probably make assumptions about someone who has a big wedding photo on the wall that their husband isn’t in.

Am I being silly here? I do struggle with my self esteem so maybe this is just that. I would hate people to think I’m arrogant. I generally hate photos of me, but our wedding photos aren’t too bad as I wasn’t paying attention to them being taken.

YABU - I wouldn’t judge someone with a large photo of themselves on their wall

YANBU - it would look weird

I might have to get a similarly sized one of him with his family then it probably wouldn’t look weird! It is a lovely photo and really special to me so maybe I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks.

OP posts:

Ted27 · 08/08/2020 11:48

which 'people' are you worried about? Surely the only people who will see it are friends and family who you have invited to your home and they will know the significance.
My son is adopted, we have a photo frame of our adoption day and another large photo taken for my fiftieth and his eleventh birthday on our living room wall. They are special to us, it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks.
I think your husband has done a lovely thing for you, enjoy that rather than worrying about what random people may or may not think about it.

Supsista · 08/08/2020 11:50

When I saw the thread title I assumed you meant a pic of JUST you.

In which case I would think you were a bit of a dick splash.

But what you have is totally different and sounds lovely if you like that sort of thing!
Put it up!

Cam2020 · 08/08/2020 11:50

I thought it was going to be a huge portrait just of you by the title! If that were the case then, yes I would, but in your case definitely not.

SerenDippitty · 08/08/2020 11:50

You could hang it in your bedroom if you aren’t comfortable about having it in your living room.

redcarbluecar · 08/08/2020 11:54

The picture sounds lovely - what a nice gesture. I'm wondering if deep down you don't really like it yourself (fair enough), but I think you'll find you get favourable comments if anything (especially as it also features your Mum). Try not to overthink what might be going through other people's minds.

Original poster

SinkGirl · 08/08/2020 11:56

God, this is what the obsession with women being "attention seeking" leads to. Women being terrified of putting up a nice photo of themselves on their wedding day with their sister and late mother up in their own homes. I bet you look stunning in it too.

You’re absolutely and totally right. I’ve always feared being seen as arrogant or conceited and have spent most of my life actively avoiding people thinking that. I’ve always hated photos of me at the time but obviously I can now look back at me 10+ years ago and two kids later and realise I was stupid to be so critical of myself.

We have a quite a few people we don’t know well coming to the house (mainly therapists and HCPs for our DTs) so that might be why I’m a bit more concerned - my friends know what I’m like so that’s not such a worry.

Thanks everyone - I will find the right place for it and stop worrying :)

OP posts:

RoseGoldEagle · 08/08/2020 11:56

It’s your house, you love it, your DH loves it, that’s literally all that matters! Lovely present from your DH.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 08/08/2020 11:57

I agree with PPs - if it was a large photo of just you - bit weird, but a family photo from your wedding day, not my taste, but I wouldn't think it was odd.

99victoria · 08/08/2020 12:03

I had a fantastic tattoo done about 10 years ago (when I was late 40s) - it went from mid-thigh across my bottom and up my back then under my arm and finished between my boobs. It was drawn freehand by a friend of mine who is incredibly talented. It looked so amazing that I decided to have a photo taken of myself naked to show it off.

The photo was done very tastefully from behind with me sitting on the ground with my legs out to the side so there is only the suggestion of curves etc. I had it printed out on canvas in black and white, I think it's about 18 x 36 inches. I have it on the wall above our bed so it's only seen by close friends and family - they all love it!

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 08/08/2020 12:21

I can't find it but does anyone remember the threads where a MNer delightful aunt had bought her a mass of stuff with the MNer's image on it? Cushion covers, placemats, mugs - every that could take an image had an image.

And they weren't particularly photos that the MNer liked - they were just taken from her FB stream.

Her aunt was lovely and it was obviously meant with love. So MNer was wondering how it would be to live in what was effectively a shrine to herself, completely covered in her own image.

Original poster

SinkGirl · 08/08/2020 12:28

@EmbarrassingAdmissions Yikes. That’s what hell must be like.

OP posts:

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 08/08/2020 12:31

Hang it with pride.
Even if it was a glamour shot, so what. People get weird about others being proud and see it as arrogance but it's not. Your husband sounds lovely

Witchend · 08/08/2020 12:36

If it was just you, then I would think it a bit weird.
However a picture of you on your wedding day with your family I'd think was nice.
Lovely present from your dh.

whenwillthemadnessend · 08/08/2020 12:42

I think the landing would be a fab place. You will see it as you move about the house but guests wont think a lot as rarely people go upstairs unless there's no downstairs loo.

billy1966 · 08/08/2020 12:42

Lovely thoughtful present. I think it would be lovely in your bedroom or on a landing.
Personally I wouldn't put it over a fireplace, but even though I think photos are very nice, having loads on a wall in not to my taste.
I certainly wouldn't think a lovely wedding photo was vain.
It is ultimately your house, so put it in a spot that will give you the maximum enjoyment.

Bubbletrouble43 · 08/08/2020 12:43

Yabu. Our walls are covered in pictures of our family, including a fairly large portrait of myself painted by a fabulously talented artist friend as a gift. Also have massive pictures of all 3 DDs. I don't care if anyone thinks it's weird.

KerbsideViolet · 08/08/2020 12:44

I know someone who had a big photo of herself in her living room. Just a headshot of herself- not even anybody else in the background. It was about A2 sized. I did think it was strange but to each their own.

Mind you, she’s moved now and it’s nowhere to be seen in the new place. I wonder if it was a present that she felt obliged to hang and went mysteriously missing in the move.

Ginkypig · 08/08/2020 12:56

@RoseGoldEagle

It’s your house, you love it, your DH loves it, that’s literally all that matters! Lovely present from your DH.

This what I was going to say.

I might not like it but by the same logic you probably wouldn't want the various (not real) skulls I have dotted around my house. I love them but they wouldn't be 80-90% people's taste.

I couldn't care less and neither should you!

Pieceofpurplesky · 08/08/2020 13:01

Your husband sounds wonderful - you are very lucky. He will think you look beautiful. Hang the picture with pride and tell your DC all about their grandma. It's not vain to want to see your mum's photo everyday - on such a happy occasion

Erictheavocado · 08/08/2020 13:09

I think it's lovely. Anyone who would judge, isn't worth worrying about.
I have a huge picture of me from my wedding. We recommended our photographer to a friend a couple of years after our wedding and when they went to see him, he had two enormous pictures from our wedding on display at the studio. We contacted him to ask if we could purchase them once he was finished with them and he very kindly gave them to us. I wish I had a space big enough to display them - they are over 4 feet high and around 3 feet wide.
Display your picture and enjoy it.

CodenameVillanelle · 08/08/2020 13:11

It would be a bit strange if it was just you by yourself but with your sister and mother of course it's not conceited!

honeylulu · 08/08/2020 13:11

Your husband sounds lovely and thoughtful. The photo he chose is really special to you.

If you'd prefer visitors to not usually see it, have it upstairs in your bedroom or landing maybe? Then you and he will see it lots and if guests see it they'll be aware it's not deliberately "on display" as much as stuff in the downstairs rooms perhaps is.

I had some glamorous photos taken in my early 20s and I wouldn't be comfortable with them in reception rooms but I have one framed and in my study because it's nice (for me) to see I used to be young and very slim!

durdlestairs · 08/08/2020 13:12

As a way of remembering your mum, I would not be critical.

2bazookas · 08/08/2020 13:19

" Thankyou darling, what a wonderful choice. It's so special I want to hang it in our bedroom where I can see it last thing at night and first thing when we wake".

Skigal86 · 08/08/2020 13:20

I say put it wherever you’ll see it most and smile every time you look at it because it’s not only a special picture of you, your mum and sister, but also a reminder of how thoughtful and kind your husband is. I adore photos, and have quite a few up of various special times and if anyone I’d invited round thought it was OK to criticise that they’d be out on their arses pretty quickly!!

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