AIBU to think people would judge someone with a big photo of themselves on the wall?

[SinkGirl]

It was our tenth wedding anniversary yesterday. DH bought me a very large framed print of a photo from our wedding. The main focus of the photo is my face, next to me is my sister and next to us is my mum giving a speech. My mum passed away five years ago, and this is the only pic from the wedding of the three of us together without her shit of a husband.

The thing is that nobody would know any of this seeing the big picture on our wall - I’m worried that it will look really conceited and weird to have a big print of my own face on the wall! And that people would probably make assumptions about someone who has a big wedding photo on the wall that their husband isn’t in.

Am I being silly here? I do struggle with my self esteem so maybe this is just that. I would hate people to think I’m arrogant. I generally hate photos of me, but our wedding photos aren’t too bad as I wasn’t paying attention to them being taken.

YABU - I wouldn’t judge someone with a large photo of themselves on their wall

YANBU - it would look weird

I might have to get a similarly sized one of him with his family then it probably wouldn’t look weird! It is a lovely photo and really special to me so maybe I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks.

How big is big??? If you’re talking 6 foot square I think that would be creepy. If you mean like a big photo I think it’s fine.

You're husband has done a really nice thing, it's a really special photo. Hang out up and enjoy it. I think you'll find you don't notice yourself in it after s while cos you'll just see your mom.
If you have guests over and they comment on the photo, just say yes, DH brought it for me as it's the nicest photo of mom and it's at the wedding and have it at that

I'm not a fan of big displayed photos really. The couple opposite us have an enormous wedding photo up, I mean it takes up half the wall.

Not my thing but if you like it, why not?

If you don't, will your husband be upset?

I think that’s a lovely present and your husband obviously adores you (and perhaps also really misses your mum too).

Hang it wherever you want with pride.

I wouldn't judge though.. I don't care what other people have on their walls really. It's just not my thing.

It is a lovely photo and really special to me so maybe I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks

That is the bit you need to focus on OP
Actually when I have been in most of my friends houses I think most of them have a photo up of them on their wedding day. I think it is nice

I wouldn't judge no.
It's entirely up to you what you have on your walls ( although I might raise an eyebrow at a pic of you doing naked yoga or something )
It's a nice thoughtful picture of you and your loved ones. Hang it with a smile.

I’m quite vain though and have often suggested I get a portrait painted of myself!

if you like it, you should hang it. I have a painting up that my mother hates. Whatever. She doesn't have to live with it.

I might have to get a similarly sized one of him with his family

No don't. Your husband bought the photo because it has a special meaning. It'll totally detract from that if you get another random one

Oh, it is a lovely thing for DH to have done, but personally, I think photos that are too big to stand on a mantelpiece are too big. I don't like photos on the wall.

Which makes no sense because traditional painted portraits are huge

Weirdly whilst I wouldn't put it in the living room, I think it could be OK in dining room or hall?

I wouldn’t judge at all. Your husband has done a lovely thing and if you like it I would cherish it.

Anyone who judges you for that doesn’t matter.

I imagine the only people seeing it will be friends/ family so you can tell them the (lovely) back story? People are bound to comment on it.

It’s big - print about 50x70cm plus mount and frame. It’s such a lovely thing he did and I hate that my insecurity makes me feel weird about putting it up. Our hall is tiny so definitely can’t put it there. Maybe on the landing upstairs. We have a lot of stuff on the walls - paintings my mum did, artwork I’ve done (took me ages to feel okay putting those up too), photos of places we’ve been etc. Maybe if it went on the main wall in the lounge with other stuff round it, it wouldn’t look odd.

Thanks everyone :)

It's fine. Most people won't take that much notice. If someone does you can say DH insisted and make them jealous that you have someone who cares for you.

I'm in two minds about buying another photo because Redglitter has a point. Probably ok if you wait a bit and then get another one. Just not immediately.

It’s a photo of the three of you, and it’s a photo from your wedding. It’s fine.

I’d judge if it was a glamour headshot just of you!

It sounds like a nice sentimental photo, I think it sound lovely. I thought you were going to say it was a glamour shot! Now I've seen those on someones wall and yes, I did judge

Big photos of oneself do seem a bit narcissistic but your DH chose it so I assume he likes it. Why not casually mention this in passing when you have new friends in your home? "It was my husband's choice..." and leave it at that.

Chances of me ever having glamour photos done = 0% 😂

No worries there!

The more I think about it the more I realise that this is just me being so concerned about what others think, which is sad really. I need to shake it off!

It has a special meaning because of losing your mum (I’m so sorry). Anyone who knows you will know this and think it’s so lovely, anybody who doesn’t know this about you, honestly f em, who cares what they think?!

No hang it up and be proud.
I did raise an eyebrow in a home when the DM had a full chimney breast portrait of herself on her graduation after a degree.
A wedding is different especially if there is more than one person in the photograph.

I think that sounds lovely. If it was vast and the only thing up on the wall I might raise an eyebrow but not think much of it but that size with other things up too go for it!
Enjoy the good memories

It's a wedding photo, why shouldn't the bride be the focus? If you've invited someone into your home, presumably you like each other enough not to have to worry about them being a judgemental twat, especially given the context. It's ok to have a nice photo of yourself with nice connotations and memories in your own home.

God, this is what the obsession with women being "attention seeking" leads to. Women being terrified of putting up a nice photo of themselves on their wedding day with their sister and late mother up in their own homes. I bet you look stunning in it too.

Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.

I think it's a lovely thing for him to have done, hang it where you want to!

Similar situation when I was a teenager with a large photo featuring me on my parent’s wall.

Some people did make nasty judgements and comments, they weren’t really the kind of people that were nice and good people anyone would want to have in their lives anyway!

Go for it OP. Anyone that’s judgy is probably quite insecure themselves. Your DH sounds lovely and the sentiment is beautiful and...it’s YOUR home so the perfect place for that family photo.