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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask guests to take a test

186 replies

tocancel · 06/08/2020 18:19

Supposed to be getting married next spring, who knows if we can go ahead as planned.

Assuming we can, would you be happy to take a covid test before attending?

If it's feasible we would like to ask all guests (and pay for them) to take test pre attending.

If it's negative obviously you can't come.

Would you think that was too much of an ask / bride and groom - zilla?

OP posts:
ravensoaponarope · 06/08/2020 19:24

I wouldn't mind.
How do people who have had their tonsils removed do the throat swab?

uniglowooljumper · 06/08/2020 19:25

@Thisismytimetoshine

you could ask people to isolate/stringently distance as much as possible in the week prior. Hahaha! Please don't embarrass yourself by trying this.
This. Give me a fucking break! 'Take off a week from work to sit at home for mmeeeeeeeeee!'
QuestionMarkNow · 06/08/2020 19:26

No point doing that.

They would need to ALL do it a couple of days before the wedding. And then you still wouldn’t know if they haven’t been infected in between the time they did the test and the wedding.
Atm about 1/3 of tests come back as negative when they are positive. It might be better with the new tests with saliva (one of the issue is how hard it is to take the swabs).

Plus I assume you haven’t done the test yourself? Will you ask children to do it too?

uniglowooljumper · 06/08/2020 19:26

My great aunt, 89 years old with terminal bowel cancer survived covid.

I’m not someone who doesn’t believe in the seriousness of it but statements like the above are scare mongering.

This.

Death is not a certainty.

YesINameChangeEveryDay · 06/08/2020 19:27

There are very few people who are important enough to me to get a medical test in order to go to their wedding. I'd imagine most people feel the same.

DonnaDonna01 · 06/08/2020 19:29

I know of people getting a test on a Wednesday which came back negative and then having another test Friday and it’s been positive. It would really be a waste of time and expense.

stoploss · 06/08/2020 19:30

Would you cancel your wedding, for the safety of the person carrying out the ceremony and your guests, if you or your other half tested positive?

Crunchymum · 06/08/2020 19:30

Utter lunacy but if you do go ahead with this insane plan then please tell your guests well in advance so they don't go ahead and book any travel / accommodation / buy new outfits only to be informed of your plans at the eleventh hour. Then their choices are cancel and be out of pocket or be forced to have a test - I'd be livid to be put in such a position.

Expect to have very few guests if you do decide to test.

Ginfordinner · 06/08/2020 19:30

Weddings are intolerable enough

What is it with mumsnetters who find weddings intolerable? Youjust sound very difficult Hmm

Greysparkles · 06/08/2020 19:33

The tests aren't 100% accurate I believe

It's no surprise when nurses aren't administering them properly!
3 seconds isn't correct

AllPlayedOut · 06/08/2020 19:35

People are allowed to dislike them. Personally I don't enjoy long ceremonies, long boring speeches, drunk people, excessively loud bad music, the expense or all the waiting around.

uniglowooljumper · 06/08/2020 19:35

@Ginfordinner

Weddings are intolerable enough

What is it with mumsnetters who find weddings intolerable? Youjust sound very difficult Hmm

They're supposed to be enjoyable for guests and the couple, a feast. Nothing enjoyable about demanding people submit to an unpleasant test.
BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze · 06/08/2020 19:36

I don’t see why so many people would have a problem with being tested. I’d be happy to be tested, of course it wouldn’t guarantee no one would have it as they could have been infected in between the test and your wedding but it would possibly identify some people.

I think some people just like to have a problem with everything.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 06/08/2020 19:36

sounds a bit OTT
lots of venues are doing temperature tests with a digital thermometer at the moment - if you asked venue might do it for you.
And/or a pulse oximeter (checks the volume of oxygen in your blood)

Gurtcha · 06/08/2020 19:38

The test is free

No it isn’t. It costs the NHS. So much so that the idea started floating about that healthcare workers should pay a tax on their routine tests to try and recoup the costs. Plus, there’s not a limitless amount of them.

The tests are for symptomatic people only, if you get one because you have an event to go to or just fancy it, you’re being a dick.

Laaalaaaa · 06/08/2020 19:39

No, and I wouldn’t even bother to RSVP.

Drivingdownthe101 · 06/08/2020 19:40

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

I don’t see why so many people would have a problem with being tested. I’d be happy to be tested, of course it wouldn’t guarantee no one would have it as they could have been infected in between the test and your wedding but it would possibly identify some people.

I think some people just like to have a problem with everything.

People are entitled to impose whatever conditions on wedding attendance that they like. Those invited are entitled to accept or decline, for whatever reason they like. I would decline.
FlapAttack23 · 06/08/2020 19:40

It’s not less than 3 seconds if you’re doing it right 😂😂 have to Swab throat for 10 seconds then nose for 10-15. I’ve done it twice and you have to drive through a million barricades and call several numbers to get let through 😂 definitely unnecessary and I wouldn’t attend unless you were a very very close friend with anxiety

uniglowooljumper · 06/08/2020 19:40

@BadTattoosAndSmellLikeBooze

I don’t see why so many people would have a problem with being tested. I’d be happy to be tested, of course it wouldn’t guarantee no one would have it as they could have been infected in between the test and your wedding but it would possibly identify some people.

I think some people just like to have a problem with everything.

Are you so hard of thinking you honestly believe that if others find it highly unpleasant and ridiculous to have a swab put way down their throat making them gag and a swab so far up their noses their eyes water to appease a hypochondriac that they just have a problem with everything? Hmm

You don't have a problem, so go for it. Others do, so they wouldn't go. Neither one is wrong.

Riv12345 · 06/08/2020 19:42

It wouldn't bother me

I would be quite happy to take a test, if that's what my friend wanted.

Cnt see the problem, rather be safe

wishing3 · 06/08/2020 19:42

I would be happy to do that as a guest (just to buck the trend!).

Yellowbutterfly1 · 06/08/2020 19:43

I doubt you have have many people wanting to attend if she tried doing this.

Chicchicchicchiclana · 06/08/2020 19:45

I might consider it if I was your Mum or Dad.

Otherwise, no.

Runmybathforme · 06/08/2020 19:46

I would definitely decline. For you, the test wasn’t that bad, but for others it is extremely uncomfortable. However, you’re missing the most important point, the person could be asymptomatic at the point of testing, but actually have the virus. Sorry, the whole idea is ridiculous.

Sally872 · 06/08/2020 19:52

Initial reaction was I would think it was ott and not attend.

For a wedding of 30 I would assume I am very close to them so I would take the test although think it was a bit much.

If you explained it was to allow a relative to feel safe attending i would willingly do it.

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