To ask guests to take a test

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Supposed to be getting married next spring, who knows if we can go ahead as planned.

Assuming we can, would you be happy to take a covid test before attending?

If it's feasible we would like to ask all guests (and pay for them) to take test pre attending.

If it's negative obviously you can't come.

Would you think that was too much of an ask / bride and groom - zilla?

Absolutely no way I'd agree!

No. Just go and get married in a tiny ceremony with a meal afterwards.

Bonkers idea you had

If you’re allowed more than thirty guests, wouldn’t that mean the rules would have been relaxed? So the risk of anyone being infected would have to be much lower than it is now?

I hate the idea of requesting quests take tests.

They're only as good as the time you get it done. Just like a DBS check only shows you've never been convicted by the day it's printed (or done electronically).

Pointless if you test negative on say Thursday and the wedding is a Saturday.

The test is longer that 3s and my DH came out of one test with a nosebleed (not prone to them) but it really is not bad, I wouldn't mind having this, if it would guarantee safety, sadly it won't.

Is it immediate family, like a parent of bride/groom?

If everyone knows that someone vulnerable is there ?you could ask people to isolate/stringently distance as much as possible in the week prior.

[quote tocancel]@AfterSchoolWorry sorry, I said in my op - we would pay for them.

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So you did! Sorry OP. I probably would then.

you could ask people to isolate/stringently distance as much as possible in the week prior.

You really can’t ask people to do that.

Where are you getting married op? Will there be a bar, catering, DJ etc? Unless you’re testing everyone in attendance it’ll be pointless

This is extremely invasive of you. I would never attend.

£180 a test? Will all guests live near a private testing centre? I live in a large town and there isn’t a private facility to test

@Itsjustabitofbanter

Where are you getting married op? Will there be a bar, catering, DJ etc? Unless you’re testing everyone in attendance it’ll be pointless

Exactly, and I can’t imagine staff being happy about that request! Beside, you have no idea what the situation will be by spring.

you could ask people to isolate/stringently distance as much as possible in the week prior.

Id be expecting the bride and groom to be paying the proportion of my mortgage and bills AND do all my errands and shopping for the length of time I had to isolate for, if I was asked this.

you could ask people to isolate/stringently distance as much as possible in the week prior.

Considering that the bride and groom could be jetting off on honeymoon afterwards that would be unacceptable.
(If you're isolating 2 weeks after the wedding and 2 weeks after the honeymoon then apologies)

Yes YWBU.

For what is worth, I've had one - the whole thing is less than 3 seconds and really nothing to bothered by.

That's irrelevant. It's an imposition and I would decline the invitation. Why don't you elope?

Would assume is a huge waste of time and money because in order to coordinate that and then get the results and then assume people have totally isolated (like not even been to a shop) between taking it and attending - totally invalid results anyway.

Also it's confidential personal medical data and just because you've paid for it doesn't mean people are obliged to tell you the results!

If you can't trust people to be generally cautious and not attend on the day if they've been contacted by track & trace/have symptoms it might just put noses out of joint.

Hope things are in a state by then that you can enjoy your wedding without worry! X

I had a self administered Covid test and instructions are to swab for twenty seconds in throat and nose. Not very pleasant and I gagged all the way through, I think your request is a bit bonkers. If you have this level of anxiety around your guests, then why not scale down your wedding or postpone?

Assuming you're paying for it and not wasting NHS resources on it, I'd accept it. But the current tests really aren't pleasant. I went to get one earlier this week, I was gagging and my eyes were watering, I had to redo it because I got it wrong the first time, and it took a decent chunk out of my day.

I would do this providing it wasn't too inconvenient e.g. could do at home. I don't know how useful it would be but it's not a crazy idea, especially with the 90 minute tests they are talking about.

However I would hope things will have moved on by the spring, in our knowledge and fingers crossed in numbers, so it might be different.

If I had to do my 4yo that would be another matter!

its up to the ill person if they want to attend or not giving them a false sense of secuirty isnt a good idea-as soon as gthe test is done you could be negative/positive it really doesnt mean anything

Thanks for asking the question. We are in a very similar situation - two very close family members who are extremely clinically vulnerable.

We have postponed our wedding but are still tied into a minimum spend for which we have already paid a huge chunk in a deposit. And the insurance won’t cover anything if we reduce in size.

And regardless of the money we want to be able to celebrate with all our friends and family - in as safe a way as possible.

So I totally get why you are asking as my thoughts have been in exactly the same place. And it wouldn’t bother me at all as a guest to take a test.

But I do hear everyone else loud and clear so may need to rethink myself!! But just to say that I don’t think YABU for trying to find a solution and considering this.

Id only do it if you were a really close relatives d I'd gave a right old gripe about it. If you were not a close rellie I'd decline the invitation.

I see you have decided against this idea.

For what it's worth, I would do this for someone I really love. Not for a vague acquaintance, a cousin, a colleague or friend I am not especially close to. Personally, I'd make the wedding smaller if I could, to limit numbers. I would think that's a much better way to prevent lots of people getting sick. As few people as possible attending. Sorry, it is a really unfortunate time to be hosting a wedding, unless you want a really, really small one.

Not bloody likely. Though at least you've agreed that it's a bad idea, OP.

@tocancel

Ok, it's clearly a rubbish idea.

We will abort!

I had assumed we were all going to be frequently tested from now on - and personally wouldn't mind but clearly lots of people will!

Where have you got this idea of frequent testing for all from? I can't even begin to imagine how much that would cost or how much time it would take.

No, of course I wouldn't! I'd just think you were nuts and refuse to go anywhere near your wedding.