To think my DP was totally unreasonable

[Everythingnotsaved]

We are away camping & I have just spent an hour in a supermarket on my own doing a 5 days shop & planning 3 meals a day for the family while DP sat in the car.

We get back to the campsite & DP puts the shopping away & has a massive go at me for being ‘stupid’ and buying too much food to fit in our electric cool box. Honestly I was more focused on the fucking stress of planning meals & buying food in a supermarket where I can’t find anything.

DP was so cross with me & now I feel fed up because I’m the one that has the burden of meal planning & shopping & all he has to do is put a few groceries away 🙄

Aibu? I just lost it as he spoke to me like I am a stupid child

It sounds like a massive waste of food and money if there's nowhere to store it safely so I'd be annoyed as well.

I would also be annoyed and would never think I could keep 5 days of meals in a cool box.

It's the holiday row. Just before one holiday I overheard the dc whispering when do you think the row will start? It's all that pent up stress that has to come out. As the dc have grown up we usually have a row now within 48 hours of getting home.

how much will be wasted picnic box?

It does sound a bit stupid to buy too much stuff for the cool box. Surely better to buy stuff for a few days then restock when you are out and about.

Also, if the supermarkets where OP is are anything like ours then only one person is allowed in to the shop so her DH was right to be sitting in the car park waiting.

How it took you an hour OP is beyond me. I can drive to the supermarket, buy shopping for a week, drive home and put it all away within an hour.

I’d be annoyed at you too, such a waste of food and money. Did you not think beforehand how you would store your food for five days?

He should nt have had a massive go, but buying food you can’t store was stupid

Also mealplanning and shopping really doesn’t take a huge effort..

I filled the cool box plus an extra bag to bring stuff to my mum’s. Didn’t consider how small her fridge was, some pizzas had to go in the freezer. My bad.

@Vodkacranberryplease did you tag the wrong person..? Where did I write about jobs? I honestly don’t think it is huge stress to shop and mealtime, and I certainly wouldn’t do it on my own. Neither would I cook on a holiday, but never been camping. I think if you need to cook to save money obviously fine though, it should be shared. I don’t get why you are calling me a fucking arsehole.

a huge stress to mealplanning 😐

@Ellisandra Anyway search function says that OP has camped for 10 years and was hoping not to this year.

And why do you think that was? Could it be because SHE HATES IT AND ITS A SLOG? Maybe camping is great for husbands who dont shop and cook and don't like spending money and don't care that their wife never has a holiday? And awful for wives who spend every day doing this shit and just want to go somewhere with a kids club, and cocktails, and a comfy bed someone else makes?

Jesus. The holier than thou brigade are out in force here.

@Vodkacranberryplease I think you need more cranberry less vodka.

“Child managing” ? I think that’s what her husband was doing whilst she was shopping.

Food is a classic topic of camping dispute. The other is the quality of the tent erection.

[quote Vodkacranberryplease]**@Ellisandra* Anyway search function says that OP has camped for 10 years and was hoping not to this year.*

And why do you think that was? Could it be because SHE HATES IT AND ITS A SLOG? Maybe camping is great for husbands who dont shop and cook and don't like spending money and don't care that their wife never has a holiday? And awful for wives who spend every day doing this shit and just want to go somewhere with a kids club, and cocktails, and a comfy bed someone else makes?

Jesus. The holier than thou brigade are out in force here.[/quote]
Right, and that’s why I offered sympathy to her in that exact same post, including some because camping wasn’t the holiday that she planned this year. So maybe read properly? 🤷🏻‍♀️

@GoodDogBellaBoo I’d be annoyed at you too, such a waste of food and money. Did you not think beforehand how you would store your food for five days?

This. Really??? It's so easy to shop for a cool box (whatever the hell that is) and just what we all want to do on HOLIDAY. But no, you would be annoyed because it's a waste. Don't be so judgemental.

What is a waste is going on one of these damn camping trips in the first place. Just go somewhere everyone can get a break. I wouldn't pack a cool box or cook for love nor money. Not when there are places people do that - but I suspect many here are in America so camping is something people actually do. Because there are no beach resorts.

@Ellisandra *Which means: her husband is not unreasonable for expecting her to know how much will fit in their cool box.

She is not unreasonable if she went into this pissed off because Covid fucked with her plans for a change*

Missing the sympathy here 😂😂

@Vodkacranberryplease please don’t be rude to the many people that wouldn’t get to go on a holiday unless it was a ’shitty camping’ (not saying this is OP’s case).
You can only afford what you can afford. Equality in shopping, cooking and cleaning is a different matter though.

[quote Vodkacranberryplease]**@Ellisandra* Which means: her husband is not unreasonable for expecting her to know how much will fit in their cool box.

She is not unreasonable if she went into this pissed off because Covid fucked with her plans for a change*

Missing the sympathy here 😂😂[/quote]
@Vodkacranberryplease how come you chose you quote me and leave off just the “” at the end of the line.

the universal sign sympathy in life on on MN.

Selective quoting

Catch a train or bus and fuck off home

I was going to suggest this too!

Leave him to deal with the kids, the cooking, the packing up - all of it. If funds permit, take yourself off to a hotel in an interesting city for a night or two and have your own little mini-break.

Or the universal sign of passive aggressive!

I didn't select it because it doesn't mean anything after you've just told her she's expected to know how much fits in a cool box and she's unreasonable for 'wasting food'. He is not offering to do it. Instead he is standing back and criticising.

Camping is fine if you like it. But not all mums consider an uncomfortable bed, the same amount of housework and being expected to deal with the logistics of it all a holiday. If your wife is decent enough to go along with it you split the load - you don't berate her for getting it wrong.

I've been on various boating/dive holidays and safaris where the crew havd to magic amazing food out of limited once only shopping and small galley kitchens. It's really hard, in fact it's an art form. Have some empathy everyone. And stop saying things like 'well of course he was right you should be perfect'

No one is perfect and women shouldn't be doing that to each other.

Why do you have to take everything with you? Are there no shops or pubs/restaurants where you are going?
I hate camping also and sulkers.

Food waste is a pain, but sometimes the brain sees the meal plan for the week and not the size of the fridge. Camping is hard work food wise if you’re on a budget, and you’re better off shopping every couple of days. You’re dh was in a car with excited kids, you were in a strange supermarket. Chalk it down to holiday horrors, drink a large glass of wine and chill. I’ve just watched my snowflake kids wash up caravaning... seriously rubber gloves on anc still complaining about a slimey piece of lettuce In the water 😂

@Vodkacranberryplease leave it out 🙄 nowhere did I accuse the OP of ‘wasting food’ - I don’t know what she bought, they may be able to change the meal plan to avoid waste 🤷🏻‍♀️

If you think my were passive aggressive you were wrong, but if they were, people can judge that for themselves - it was manipulative of you to leave them off, as the single part of my post you chose to remove.

Were they passive aggressive?
My first posted reply to the OP included the sentence:

“If he’s always a lazy unappreciative shit, take this as your moment to tell him to shape up or ship out” and in a later post I suggested that if a wet fish hadn’t made the cool box space, to slap him with it. So no, I don’t think you could consider me completely unsympathetic.