To think my DP was totally unreasonable

[Everythingnotsaved]

We are away camping & I have just spent an hour in a supermarket on my own doing a 5 days shop & planning 3 meals a day for the family while DP sat in the car.

We get back to the campsite & DP puts the shopping away & has a massive go at me for being ‘stupid’ and buying too much food to fit in our electric cool box. Honestly I was more focused on the fucking stress of planning meals & buying food in a supermarket where I can’t find anything.

DP was so cross with me & now I feel fed up because I’m the one that has the burden of meal planning & shopping & all he has to do is put a few groceries away 🙄

Aibu? I just lost it as he spoke to me like I am a stupid child

Well how much food will be wasted, because if so went in to do the shopping and bought far too much food so that some of it would end up wasted, I'd probably be pretty pissed off.

Camping with 4 x dc is a task in itself. Adding shopping to a holiday is no fun. Meal plan as usual at home and get away!!. Much easier!!

Well does it all fit op? I'd be annoyed if DP did that and it all didnt fit in the fridge in our van. Plus what meals do you plan while you're camping? We live off burgers, eggs, bacon, pot noodles and different kebabs! Cereal for the kids most mornings. I'm assuming you've gone away for a break?!

@Feralkidsatthecampsite where are you getting 4 kids from?

Drive off without him. I hate camping, uncomfortable shite and I refuse to do it. Minimum I will do is a caravan or glamping pod x

I’ve never understood the big deal about meal planning. Totally get the big deal if one party shirks it all, and everything else. We love a camping trip meal planning session in our family... quick run through what we fancy, whether it works for the kitchen stuff we have when we’re away... pre-mixing herbs or spices sometimes into little pots to take with us ready to use. I think camping is such a love it or hate it thing!

Is he normally such a twat?

I think you’re both a bit reasonable- it’s annoying doing all the shopping & thinking but it is also VERY annoying to waste food if you can’t refrigerate it, and it’s part of the thinking to take that into account. We’re on holiday in a caravan with a tiny fridge and it changes how you can shop and what meals you plan. So you should have thought of that, and shopped accordingly, and your DH shouldn’t have snapped at you.

@Whatifitallgoesright

You arrived with all your shopping already! That's like the second homers who the locals hate because they stock up before in their local Waitrose and don't spend a penny in the second home local economy.

We just came back from camping and in the info from the campsite they asked guests to bring as many groceries as they could with them to avoid over stretching the local shops, so it's not always the case that shopping locally is the best thing to do.

@lockdownalli

I would be inclined to drive home and leave him there...

Me too.

This is why my parents preferred no holiday to a camping holiday.

@AnnaMagnani

This is why my parents preferred no holiday to a camping holiday.

I'm totally with you on this. Never understood the appeal. Uncomfortable, stressful, at the mercy of the weather and a vast amount of faff (meal planning on holiday ffs). And not even always that cheap. I'd rather stay at home.

I would have made dh come in with me if that's his attitude

I'm going to go against the grain and say I'd be a bit annoyed if my other half bought loads of food that was then going to have to go to waste?? Why would you need to buy food for 5 days worth? Why not a couple of days at a time and then drive over to the supermarket? To be honest you've both blown this out of proportion - you for being stressed about being in an unfamiliar supermarket on your own and overbuying and him for "stupid" comment. Presumably you DID agree one of you would stay in the car with the kids instead of dragging them round so it was always going to be one persons responsibility to get it done 🤷‍♀️

Tbh your camping. Both me and dh get shirty with each other for buying more than will fit. It is a completely stupid move tbh. Everything knows unless you actually take the same size fridge and freezer as home you won’t have the space. I say that as someone who takes a table top fridge and a freezer

YANBU. Obviously, I can't tell from here whether you did the best possible job of the shopping or not; but if you're not doing it to his liking, then he should try doing it himself for a bit, not shout at you. You're not his shopping-slave.

Is this typical of him op?

@MadeleineMaxwell and @EKGEMS have both summed it up nicely.
Since you have 'failed' so dismally, hand over all responsibility to he-who-knows-better.
The whole predicting what every mouth needs at all times is such a burden.

Can you take some time for yourself?
I really feel for you.

But personally I'd think you're both a bit U to go camping at all! My idea of Hades, not a holiday! But obviously there are people who enjoy it!

Calling you stupid is abusive IMO.

So he sat on his lazy arse in the car, left you to do all the mental load plus physical work of it, then had nothing but scathing criticism of you?

Calling someone stupid is a vile display of assumed dominance.

He sounds like an absolute prick.

If you fitted it in the cool box then he is being unreasonable but if you couldn't then you are being unreasonable.
I hate my husband going shopping as he always buys extra frozen and chilled food and it's a nightmare getting it in the fridge /freezer. So I can see his point if you got too much.

I'd be annoyed by that OP.

Let him plan the food and meals. ‘ seeings how I’m struggling to manage to arrange this I’ve decided to leave it to your expertise for the week instead’.

Why did he sit in the car

I can’t believe people are getting bogged down on the details of how much food there was and whether it fit in the fridge.

He had no right to send her off to do something without help and then shout at her for it.