To lie on CV to get a job

[arrivedbysaucer]

I haven't worked since 1999 due to mostly being unsuccessful at interviews and if I have been offered jobs I usually get fired as soon as the employers realise I have no organisation skills, time awareness, no ability to focus or complete tasks or attention to detail or in fact attention for anything.
I take medication for inattentive ADHD but the problem is I also have social anxiety because of this, which I have had cbt for but found most of this to be about self acceptance which I feel I have accepted myself and how I'm not the same as everyone else but it's not acceptable by everyone else to be the way I am so not very helpful, I'm also very socially awkward.

If I was to write the above on a CV it's almost certain I would not be invited in for an interview so would I be unreasonable to lie on my CV and say I can do all of those things when really I can't just to get the job and if asked for examples in an interview to just invent things?

Social anxiety is a fear of being judged which is exactly what an interview is, someone judging you so it's difficult but If I don't lie about who I am and waste employers time and resources I will get sanctioned by the job centre.

My youngest is turning 3 soon and I will then be expected to look for work as dh is on minimum wage.
My eldest is 20 now so I've been a SAHM for most of my life so have no experience or qualifications as my school grades were F's and
G 's and I failed at college.
I have two sons 2 and 20 the eldest lives with his fiancée so I just have the little one at home now.

Do I have much choice but to lie if I ever want to get an interview?

No specific ones. It’s generally the unqualified role. A TA tends to have a qualification. I needed that entry step job and I absolutely love it. I can relate to so much of what the teen students are going through and because I have adapted for me and my kids, I can make suggestions which may help the students I work with. My aim ultimately is a sendco type role.

Never lie on a CV, you'll get caught out. But you can occasionally forget to mention things (just be prepared to have to cover gaps if asked).

Have you sought any help with coping strategies? - so you can't remember things well, but you could write them down. There are tools and techniques for helping with organisation and time management. Have you looked for interview training/coaching?

I'm not entirely sure how you would access all of this, but one route may be through your local FE college and seeing if you can get your Maths and English grades up to a C. If they know about the problems you've identified they can help you find a way to work around them and give you help with basic employment skills.

@arrivedbysaucer the job centre are wrong , you would only need to work if your husband earned below the £604 threshold. UC works of household income not individual.

@arrivedbysaucer sorry the threshold is £549 not £604 I was getting confused with the benefit cap.
Earning less than your earnings threshold

If you are working but are earning less than your earnings threshold, you might be expected to do some activities at the Jobcentre. As long as you are earning more than £343 per month (if you are single) or £549 per month joint income (if you are a member of a couple), you won’t be expected to look for work or be available for work. However, you might be asked to take part in activities to increase your chances of getting a job.

If you are working but are earning less than £343 per month (if you are single) or £549 per month joint income (if you are a member of a couple), you will be expected to look for more work and be available for work.

No you shouldn't lie. It would interfere with your mental health and income to keep getting jobs and then getting sacked again.

Maybe you could do a job that is quite repetitive? E.g. simple data entry. The kind of thing nobody else wants to do because it's boring, but you might be able to get really into it and focused as it's all the same.

And you could ask for reasonable adjustments like an office if it is open plan, to minimise distractions.

Even though employers aren't supposed to discriminate, most of them do though. So at least if you keep jumping through the Job Centre's hoops, you are meeting the requirements for UC and they will have to keep paying you, even if you never get a job.

And I agree you should apply for PIP (and maybe ESA if you qualify). UC may then be willing to exempt you from some of the work-seeking requirements anyway.

I have been on lots of college courses Maths, Eng, I.T but wasn't able to meet a qualification it's just classroom work, I'm fine with hands on practical learning if there's no theory.

I do desperately want to get a job but it's not so much the rejection as the lack of understanding and acceptance from coworkers, tuts and eye rolls and indiscretion with bitchy remarks because they just don't want you there and can't hide it or tolerate working together, that makes it harder to tell people you don't understand the work or you've forgotten to do something or lost it. Knowing it's just feeding the resentment and the satisfied looks when you're finally let go and their lives can resume.

I hate having ADHD it's ruined me I'm not living or enjoying my life I just try and get through each day knowing I won't have to live forever but there is no way to be normal, I'll never be liked or accepted.
I just go through life humiliating myself and annoying everyone I meet with my inability to learn or understand anything,
I'm so worried about not understanding what people ask me to do I just zone out in a blur and then realise it's my turn to speak or act and I don't know what anyone said it's a living nightmare and I don't know what job I can do where I won't upset anyone because I'm useless at reading social cues so usually upset everyone eventually because social interaction is so much hard work for someone who's awkward and introvert and seemingly thick as shit.

I don't know OP if you managed to complete courses and raise DC you could manage at some job.
Car park attendant. Security. Childcare.
I'm trying to be kind your clearly making excuses the job centre is forcing you they've looked after you for a few years it is time to give back.

You're

I don't know what's worse the inattentive ADHD or the social anxiety and shame it brings.
I wouldn't wish it on anyone but I think I could maybe help others who struggle because I know I'm kind and gentle and understanding and I might be quiet but I'm a good listener.

I know the ADHD will always be there but the social anxiety doesn't have to be, if you can get that under control then I'm sure you'll find life a lot less excruciating.
20+ years is a long time to be unemployed and anyone would find the prospect of going back to work after such a long time with only a few experiences to go by daunting.

Working from home would be perfect but using a computer might be tricky. (Although you seem to be doing great on the one you're using)

Does the job centre want to go back full time? Could you start of part time to begin with?

Livewell in Plymouth should be able to help and you don't even need to go through your GP.

Look them up fill out a form online and they'll call you and see how they can help, they are NHS and you self refer free.

If you like the idea of the emergency services work, go onto their websites and find out what the training process is like.

It might be that if you have a clear goal in mind you can push through and get the classroom stuff done - if it's through a college they often have brilliant learning disability support these days.

Or what about being a 999 call handler? Like on that programme 999 what's your emergency? You don't need qualifications to do that and you could potentially move on from there in time. Even in the short term you don't need to organise anything because the instructions are on screen/you make notes immediately on screen.

There’s no point encouraging OP to pursue any jobs until she’s addressed and fixed the issues causing her to lose them all.

@heartsonacake how do you fix ADHD? ⚙️🔧

As others have said, I suggest contacting support organisations who have experience your condition and many have into work support. Also, and this only works if you genuinely want to work, ask for a referral to the Work and Health Programme - the Job centre can refer you. I know quite a few success stories from their one to one support.

What about an adult apprenticeship - apprenticeships stent just for teenagers any more.

But here's a very clear message. I work with for an employer that will give people chances, and if a job doesn't work out we'll try our very best to move someone to a more suitable job. We'll do our very best to support disabilities. But if you get caught in a lie, you will be dismissed. There would be no second chance and no mitigation. Once you lie, you will never be trustworthy.

OP, are you on any medication for your ADHD? I have a coworker with very severe ADHD, and she functions fine with medication. We're in a very responsible job, too (legal profession).

What do you think about training as a police officer, paramedic or firefighter? Those are typically good, high-adrenaline jobs and don't require a lot of organisation as you are told go here, go there at very short notice.

Sorry to be blunt but I disagree at all. You’re going to have to make difficult decisions and remember important information, amongst other things that OP would not be able to do (from her own admittance). I would really worry about OP in any of these roles.

I meant I don’t agree at all!

[quote chockybicky]@heartsonacake how do you fix ADHD? ⚙️🔧[/quote]
I’m talking about her social anxiety, her lack of organisation, timekeeping etc. These are all problems she can take steps to address and she’s had 20 years to do so, but instead she’s buried her head in the sand.

Apologies if you have already come across this OP

www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/managing-adult-adhd-attention-deficit-disorder.htm

You can lie, but should you blag yourself the job it'll become apparent you can't do those things!

I agree with PPs who have suggested a medication review, volunteer work and brushing up on some of the skills you feel you lack.

Really feel for you OP and just wanted to add a positive experience for you from an employers perspective.

I managed someone with ADHD and once we’d worked together on developing a system we could make work for her and the business she was one of my best employees. Alarms, checklists, reminders - only you know whether those things could help you or cause you more.

Please don’t lie on your CV. It will make things worse in the long term

@heartsonacake those are all symptoms of ADHD and can't be fixed. Op is taking medication for both conditions and had CBT
I wouldn't say that's burying head in sand. I'd say it's trying to function as normally as humanly possible in a society that's rigidly built for neurotypical brains.

@arrivedbysaucer have you ever been assessed for Autism? A lot of the things you are describing are reminiscent of my own experience, and a lot of women with ASD are unaware that they have the condition.

I have both autism and ADHD and I struggle immensely with executive functioning, with social anxiety and overwhelm, but I also have a career in crisis communications which I am proud of, during the days where I don't want to run away from the universe. Those days I also have, and sometimes 'succes' stories don't quite acknowledge that these are lifetime disabilities. I can wake up on Tuesday full of vigor and write 2000 words in a few hours and it'll be amazing, and on Wednesday I'll be at home with my internet turned off because I can't deal with the idea of receiving feedback on my proposal, and the sound of my doorbell will startle the shit out of me. Sometimes I don't shower for an entire week, occasionally I have a meeting in London and absentmindedly travel to Bristol. I have a disability, it's not all overcoming obstacles and 'ADHD is a gift' or whatever feel-good article the BBC has put out this month.

Your post made me feel immensely sad. It is already bad enough to feel as though you have been playing your life on hard-mode the entire time, but you are sounding as though you have absolutely lost all confidence and self-worth along the way. This is something that needs exploring and healing before anything else really, because you will self-sabotage whatever it is you try to do at the moment. I did this too.

To those suggesting that the OP should choose something simple and repetitive that needs no skills, I don't think that's right. OP doesn't have these skills at the moment, but they are things that can be developed over time, using strategies tailored for her.

OP, please don't sell yourself short. There are things you can do, things you cannot do, and things you simply cannot do yet.

I know that sounds cheesy, but the biggest hurdle for me has always been the complete destruction of my own self-worth aided by that constant 'why can't you just...' commentary that's been following me since I was a bloody toddler. By the time you are an adult, you think that you are defective and stupid and have nothing to contribute to society, but that is not true. Please believe me even a little bit when I say that it is not true.

If you would like to talk you can always DM me, but I hope that you will be able feel a little better soon. You're raising your son, learning about how best to help him, worrying about your contribution and being considerate of other people's feelings. You sound like you have a lot to give OP. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

[quote chockybicky]@heartsonacake those are all symptoms of ADHD and can't be fixed. Op is taking medication for both conditions and had CBT
I wouldn't say that's burying head in sand. I'd say it's trying to function as normally as humanly possible in a society that's rigidly built for neurotypical brains.
[/quote]
CBT only works if you actually put the effort in and do the work the therapist sets you, no matter how awkward/uncomfortable/embarrassing. She doesn’t need to live with the social anxiety; that can absolutely be fixed.

Other issues can be managed. OP is choosing not to find and use tools and resources to manage them.