To lie on CV to get a job

[arrivedbysaucer]

I haven't worked since 1999 due to mostly being unsuccessful at interviews and if I have been offered jobs I usually get fired as soon as the employers realise I have no organisation skills, time awareness, no ability to focus or complete tasks or attention to detail or in fact attention for anything.
I take medication for inattentive ADHD but the problem is I also have social anxiety because of this, which I have had cbt for but found most of this to be about self acceptance which I feel I have accepted myself and how I'm not the same as everyone else but it's not acceptable by everyone else to be the way I am so not very helpful, I'm also very socially awkward.

If I was to write the above on a CV it's almost certain I would not be invited in for an interview so would I be unreasonable to lie on my CV and say I can do all of those things when really I can't just to get the job and if asked for examples in an interview to just invent things?

Social anxiety is a fear of being judged which is exactly what an interview is, someone judging you so it's difficult but If I don't lie about who I am and waste employers time and resources I will get sanctioned by the job centre.

My youngest is turning 3 soon and I will then be expected to look for work as dh is on minimum wage.
My eldest is 20 now so I've been a SAHM for most of my life so have no experience or qualifications as my school grades were F's and
G 's and I failed at college.
I have two sons 2 and 20 the eldest lives with his fiancée so I just have the little one at home now.

Do I have much choice but to lie if I ever want to get an interview?

@arrivedbysaucer My youngest is turning 3 soon and I will then be expected to look for work as dh is on minimum wage. does you dh work full time? If he earns £604 a month you won’t be expected to work when your child turns three.

Could you advertise to walk dogs or baby sit? You might not have to send in CVs or formal qualifications. There is also house cleaning. You could put leaflets through doors and see if anyone rings you. You could charge £10-12 per hour.

I have no organisation skills, time awareness, no ability to focus or complete tasks or attention to detail or in fact attention for anything.

ok - we know what you can't do

What can you do?
You have raised children and obviously did that ok - what skills can you transfer?

I think you need some skills assessments. There are plenty online. This is a governmental one. nationalcareers.service.gov.uk/skills-assessment Face to face or over the phone if not possible would be better from the CAB.

Idk how it works for the job centre and sanctioning but I would have thought any way you can prove you’re actively looking for help to find work would buy you some time.

Can you also get any evidence from your GP or the specialists, who assessed you? They may be able to give something to the unemployment office, which explains your work skills and ability to work.

Excuse me if these are silly suggestions. I have not been in your position. So just trying to help.

As you are worried about being sanctioned by the job centre, have you applied for ESA or PIP? If you are receiving disability related benefits I don't think they will sanction you.

Oh I meant to say, please don’t lie. You could be sanctioned for a long time I imagine.

I’m you but without the ADHD. I’ve always lied on CVs to get an interview. I’ve only once been asked to provide proof of exams and that’s when I applied for a newspaper reporter job back in the day when reading and writing correctly were a requirement for being a journalist I didn’t get the job. I was too shy anyway, plus I didn’t have an English degree I just lied about it. Got the interview though and they liked me, just received the rejection letter 2 weeks later...

Social anxiety left me hiding in work loos, ‘looking busy’ at my desk actually doing zero, breaking out in cold sweats soon as I entered the workplace, not having tea or lunch breaks to avoid interacting with colleagues.

I’m great at interviews it’s like another person takes over - I’m loud, chatty, confident but it’s all an act. I win every interview so I’ve had lots of jobs but then last around 1-2 weeks in a job before I’m ‘found out’ for being the awkward mouse I really am.

Once I even walked out at lunchtime in the first day of the best job I ever had because I knew I couldn’t face sitting with colleagues at lunchtime. I just can’t do social interaction unless it’s around 20 seconds long!

I’ve got better as my children got older as I used them as an unconscious ‘prop’ in social situations to hide behind. But I’m currently in a job where I’m at being ‘found out’ stage. Fortunately Furlough gives me a delay for the time being.

I recommend staying on benefits. Some people just should. Or there are ‘work bridge’ organisations that help people like us into work with companies who are sensitive to our situation. They found me a sole trader who wrote all my required task for me on a big board, so I could keep referring to how to do my job without having to ask him to show me all the time, even simple things like how to switch the laptop on, which I often forget how to to. I’d then be left alone to get on with things, and I did. Unfortunately it was only a temporary contract but these jobs are out there.

Or have you though of selling online? Even if it’s reselling things you find in charity shops or buy wholesale online. Or if you can do crafts there’s always a market for that.

Email all your local businesses and ask if they need a social media manager, a job you can do from home. If you’re already posting on social media yourself it’s no different ; answer queries, post photos and comments relating to the business. Watch some YouTube videos on how to do this. Won’t be paid a huge amount but enough to live on.

Indeed job website also has a new ‘Remote’ (work from home) section thanks to Covid where if you have right equipment (fast broadband, headphones, etc) you can do call centre work from home. The toddler may have to be sat in a playpen with toys for hours though, or sent to Grandmas or nursery all day. Working Tax Credits will cover 75% of those costs though.

Register with a private domestic cleaning firm. There’s plenty on Facebook local pages. Work the hours you want, on your own, and take toddler with you.

If you have a car, parcel delivery or fast food delivery. Our Hermes parcel woman just delivers out of her estate car, and when I did fast food delivery I just turned up to work, grabbed the food bags, then went out delivering all night on my own, didn’t interact with a soul apart from customers but then I was on a moped so kinda in disguise! Tips were great, 30 deliveries a night £1 tip every time £30 extra on top of my basic wage.

I also volunteered in a charity shop. You’re still having to learn till, handle money, chat with customers, admittedly a different type of customer far more kind and patient, and colleagues tend to be people in our boat ; mental disabilities, physical disabilities, people who can’t for whatever reason handle mainstream employment at present. No pay, but keeps Jobcentre off your back.

You can do all the courses, hypnotherapy, medications, voluntary experience, job workshops, confidence workshops in the world, it ain’t gonna change you until you let it. It’s not a failure to tailor your employment opportunities around you, instead of you fitting it. It’s possible to find a fit, without having to change yourself, I’ve been there.

OP, I haven't read all the replies so apologies if this has been said elsewhere.

Lying on your CV is pointless. You don't have these skills and therefore even if you got the job (which, with a big gap, no references etc is tricky) you will be fired when it's discovered you don't have them. Many of these skills are core to basic office work etc.

So surely the best option is to find a job that requires fewer skills such as organisation, time management etc? Eg, in a coffee shop, the person who is making the coffee probably has to remember a few orders simultaneously, but that's it. They just work through the list? Some basic time management is needed for cleaning to ensure you're paying attention and not day dreaming and therefore taking 20 minutes to make a bed, but perhaps that's an option? Jobs that are output related rather than time might also be good - I mean, there are usually still deadlines but if you meet the deadlines, no one cares if you've taken 2 hours or 10. Except you as obviously it's less profitable for you. Eg sub editing, translation etc. Do you have any skills like arts/crafts/cooking etc that could be used.

Basically, you can't go and be a PA or do data capturing. But that doesn't mean you can't find a job.

@AlternativePerspective I don't agree that volunteering isn't useful, although perhaps this depends on the type of positions people are applying for. I work in the third sector; relevant volunteering experience has been hugely useful for me in the past and is often mentioned in the person spec as an alternative to paid experience in a particular role.

How about volunteering in a charity shop for a while to get to understand retail better, Oxfam etc. Then you can apply for retails jobs once you've had some practice in it and some experience for your CV.

Until you have actually mastered a skill there is no point in lying as you wont keep the job as you well know. Plus the experience will help with your confidence which is very important too.

YABU, you need to play to your strengths. I have ADHD as well and I absolutely know I would be useless at admin type jobs and I don't think I'd cope well with waitressing either.

Jobs I've been good at have been retail - that's very much in the here and now so time management isn't as important and you have the till there so don't need to remember anything. Shelf stacking as part of the same job is quite satisfying and if somebody stops you to ask for help you are allowed to stop what you're doing and help them. Yes sometimes you will forget you were stacking a shelf and find yourself on the tills - perhaps a bracelet, which you put on when you're on shelf stacking duty so when you see it on your wrist you go "Oh yeah!" - ring someone to take over and explain you haven't finished your shelf stacking.

Also teaching/tutoring - although may not be right for you if you're not confident about your school abilities.

I did graphic design for a while which I loved but I struggled with the office time. I was always going off and reading FB or downloading random things for my Sims game or reading people's blogs when I was meant to be working

Skills common in people with ADHD include:

• Ability to work well under pressure (we often work BEST with pressure)
• Ability to cope in a stressful environment (ie one which invokes adrenaline - it helps our systems work correctly whereas it makes most people shut down)
• Creativity and abundance of new ideas
• Ability to "wing it" and deal with a situation you don't necessarily have loads of prep for.
• Tendency to be enthused about new things as long as the work keeps changing and isn't the same every day.
• Willing to be told what to do - this is borderline - but if someone is telling you to go there and do this, go here and do that, it removes the part where you have to use your own time management and prioritisation skills, so it can be better.

For your skill defecits/weaknesses - externalise as many of them as possible. I rely heavily on Google Calendar and a notes app as well as written to do lists (again, on an app because then I can't lose it).

What do you think about training as a police officer, paramedic or firefighter? Those are typically good, high-adrenaline jobs and don't require a lot of organisation as you are told go here, go there at very short notice. Also creative environments/startups where you're passionate about the product or service of the company can be good environments for ADHD people. (Just as long as it's not too office-based... I struggled with office work.)

Working with people or animals is great because you are then responding directly to the adult/child/animal in front of you - it's not an abstract thing which is easily distracted from. You probably need something concrete you can hold, manipulate, touch or speak to, connect with, react to, rather than working with words or data.

To help with the self image I would look for an ADHD support group near you if you can. If not in real life, try online. The reddit page for ADHD is really good and there is a Youtube channel called How To ADHD who has a facebook page and if you join her Patreon you can get into a private Discord server which is like a support group.

You also want to look at positive ADHD role models. You feel it's not acceptable to be the way that you are, but actually plenty of people with ADHD are successful and are loved and accepted by others. You might find books by Dr. Edward Hallowell inspiring.

It can be really hard to get over repeated failures and rejections but that doesn't mean there aren't people out there who will value you and jobs you will shine at.

Good luck!

You should be eligible for disability benefits

YABU. I would always recommend being truthful. Lying on your c.v. will be pointless as you will soon be found out, judging by being found out and sacked in the past. There is no point in wasting a potential employer's time.

Most, if not all jobs, require some degree of organisations skills so you could find many jobs difficult. What you need to do is find a role which doesn't require these qualities. Focus on thinking about what you can do, not what you can't do. Do you have any hobbies or interests from which you could derive a living?

However, I suggest you also speak to your Advisor at the Jobcentre and explain your situation and ask for their help. It may be that they can find some work that doesn't require these qualities or perhaps you should not be put into the Work-related group on the grounds of incapability.

Many MH teams have an Employment Officer who can help get you into the right kind of employment for you. They often have contacts with local businesses. That could also be worth a try.

Don't add dishonesty to the list of things that disadvantage you. We always have a choice.

BertieBotts fantastic post !

I have no organisation skills, time awareness, no ability to focus or complete tasks or attention to detail or in fact attention for anything.

1 - get your medication reviewed. Discuss the anxiety.

2 - do not lie
3 - ADHD medication is not a cure all. You need to slowly build strategies one thing at a time until they embed.
4 - Repetitive work you find boring is not going to work. Your ADHD brain will rebel.
5 - You need support to make changes. GP, job centre, charities. Start with GP.

Start small OP. You can make changes.

Could you do cleaning? I have in the past and it’s great for being task focused and distraction free. If you are physically fit enough to do it, I found it quite good for my mental health because you go in, do the job, no stress, no politics, come home.

"You should be eligible for disability benefits"
How can you determine that from what the OP has stated? I'm unsure they would qualify for even the standard rate of Daily Living component of PIP based on what they have said here. The activities for PIP are:

The Daily Living component comprises:
Preparing food.
Taking nutrition.
Managing therapy or monitoring a health condition.
Washing and bathing.
Managing toilet needs or incontinence.
Dressing and undressing.
Communicating verbally.
Reading and understanding signs, symbols and words.
Engaging with other people face to face.
Making budgeting decisions.

The Mobility component comprises:
Planning and following journeys.
Moving around.

OP, could you get someone who knows you well to help in looking at the criteria for PIP just in case you do qualify? If you do, it would mean that you could be in the support-related group so not have to look for work and it could also entitle you to other benefits.

Hi OP

I have inattentive ADHD too and had been sacked/ pushed out of every job I’d had because of the same reasons as you.

But last year I applied for a retail job on a whim (Classic ADHD impulsiveness!) and it turned out to be the best thing for me. My shop is fast-paced so there’s always lots of different tasks to do, meaning I don’t need to focus on one thing for long. It’s a small store with a close team so we can all see each other and I can be gently guided back onto task if I get distracted. I’ve absolutely thrived in this environment.

Does that sound like something that would work for you? I know retail jobs are incredibly difficult to find in the current circumstances but maybe in future it’s something you could think about.

If I were the hiring manager in our store, I’d have no qualms about hiring you with your described symptoms. I’d find ways to make it work for you- perhaps keeping you off tills or giving you extra direction where necessary.

Good luck! I’m sure there is a position out there for you somewhere!

OP I really feel for you, you've been given some really good advice here. I don't think office/restaurant work is for you.
What are your passions? do you like animals? maybe look at training in animal care/vet nurse?
Or maybe look at doing a course in childmining and look after kids in your own home? You've clearly been successful at that!
Courier driver as others have suggested? Do you enjoy the gym? maybe look at taking kids' gym classes or doing a PT qualification? There are a lot of options out there. Good luck!

It sounds like you just keep making the same mistakes over and over again; you’re taking these jobs knowing they won’t last while refusing to actually address the issues that are causing these mistakes.

If you don’t get help, address your problems, nothing is ever going to change. You’ve been out of the workplace 20 years but it sounds like you haven’t done anything in this time to help yourself.

I'm not sure how volunteering works with the job centre, I will have to look for paid work from October to meet my commitment agreement but agree it sounds like the only realistic approach and I'd be putting something back into the community.
I've been given antidepressants for my social anxiety because the CBT didn't help but there's not a lot more they can do for me especially in Cornwall where resources are stretched.

I don't really believe I can bring anything of any value to an employer either but I can't give up I only have one life and it's with ADHD I have to do my best with it.

@Smilesinside @BertieBotts thank you for your posts they make so much sense and @Wherestheline I'm not in Scotland I'm down in Devon but that sounds good.
@Elouera I have done several courses but I can't learn in a classroom.

I would love to work for the police or a firefighter, ambulance driver or something but I couldn't do the classroom work.
I love to drive but have no navigation skills so I'm never in the right lane and probably drive quite erratically to most people so delivery driving would probably kill my nerves as I battle traffic with tourists.
@User87471643901065319 I think of myself as almost going on pip as it is as Dh works full time but with me not working we'd get the top up universal credit. I'm unlikely to find a job so I'm just wasting empl

Employers time and resources to get my money.

Sorry toddler jumped on me and I pressed send before finishing.

Think about the type of job you could do well. Or apply for volunteer work to give you confidence.

OP your grammar, spelling and typing skills are good in this thread.

Are you in Devon, or Cornwall? There are a number of organisations in Cornwall I know of who support people returning to work, I will have a look and post.

As pp's have said, it's not about lying on your cv, it's about finding a job that you can do to everyone's satisfaction.
What about care work?

@Ihaventgottimeforthis Plymouth