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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what things you consider to be of “good taste”

186 replies

Dylaninthemovies1 · 04/08/2020 22:41

Well... I was going to say “classy” but I don’t think that’s a particularly classy word!

Following on from the “tacky/common” thread. What sort of things would you say are “good taste” “middle class” etc

I’ll start... appletiser

OP posts:
Dita73 · 05/08/2020 00:02

No tattoos

TableFlowerss · 05/08/2020 00:03

I thought it said Appetiser

Good night ya’ll

Clearly I need to go to bed!!

CherryPavlova · 05/08/2020 00:05

300XLTriColour Yes, you are probably right, although she might have moved up towards a Fentimens rose lemonade for a special occasion.

Dylaninthemovies1 · 05/08/2020 00:05

@300XLTriColour. And why not? It’s a delicious and refreshing, sophisticated soft drink

OP posts:
Yellowfeather · 05/08/2020 00:09

A scruffy, smelly dog or black lab
Cornishware
Fresh flowers
A ripped Barbour in the boot
No visible labels on clothes

Serin · 05/08/2020 00:11

NamdChange84
Good posture??
Really?
So everyone with scoliosis or another physical disability would be automatically poor taste then?

Laufeythejust · 05/08/2020 00:13

Anything non alcoholic that comes in a glass bottle
Port after a meal
Homemade jam
Having fancy plates/ cutlery that comes out on special occasions
A tea service

agonyauntie2020 · 05/08/2020 00:15

Please don't feel like you have to apologise for the thread OP I love threads like this. I also love Kate Fox's book "Watching the English" (its out in a relatively new edition if anyone had the original) and it helped me a lot. Without being two outing, I straddle two cultures, and sometimes struggle a bit with understanding the why ~ eg I intrinsically 'know' a 20 year old Volvo is covertly more prestigious than a new RR but I love understanding why some people think that (and some don't), and she explains stuff like that, along with why we talk so much about the weather etc.

Mintychoc1 · 05/08/2020 00:16

Manners, speaking RP, politeness and talking to people in the same way whether you’re meeting the queen or chatting to the bin man about the weather.

TheHydrangeas · 05/08/2020 01:05

I also find this topic so fascinating (I am the OP of the tacky/common thread Smile). I grew up working class but I tend to get mistaken for being "posh" so I find myself intrigued by it all.

Things that I think are of good taste:

  • White towels and bedding
  • Being environmentally conscious (reusable straws, refillable water bottles, reusable cotton pads, etc)
  • Healthy home-cooked food
  • Active lifestyles (tennis, running, yoga, pilates, long walks)
  • Being outdoorsy e.g. long walks in the woods on a Sunday
  • Understated and put-together appearance: being clean and well-groomed, hair in a style that is appropriate to the occasion and a natural colour, barely noticeable makeup, classic clothes.
  • Intelligence, being well-read and being interested in the world around you (going to museums, theatres, historical properties, having National Trust membership, etc)
  • Manners and social intelligence
  • Having homemade birthday cakes, children making homemade birthday/Christmas/thank you cards
sageandroses · 05/08/2020 01:38

I do find it fascinating that the truly upper classes basically do whatever the hell they want, and those just 'below' are always trying to achieve it - whatever 'it' is.

Things I consider 'good taste':

Good quality but basic clothes
A checked shirt under a jumper on a man
Driving an understated car
Black labs
Being able to ride a horse
Being able to ski
Going to university even if you don't want to because it's the 'done thing'
Having inherited furniture and art
Having an untidy (but not dirty) house
Little boys in shorts no matter the weather
Those boots with drawstrings round the top
Having been to boarding school
Not owning a microwave
Having an aga

I have realised after writing that this actually turned into a list of the things I recognise the upper class by 😂

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 05/08/2020 02:23

Vienetta. 💁‍♀️

Goodoldfashionedploverboy · 05/08/2020 03:42

I would much rather embrace the virtue of “characterful” than “tasteful”. “Tasteful” sounds so fucking boring. Who wants “natural” hair, a messy house with a muddy hallway (like the real upper classes, dontcha know; so smart), and to spend their time making jam? Also, black labs, while adorable like all dogs (in my opinion as a doggo lover), are among the most frankly boring of breeds. Give me a Komondor, a Weimaraner, or a borzoi any day!

It also strikes me that what we’re talking about here with “taste” is tradition, including, implicitly, traditional gender roles. It’s not the “tasteful” men who are spending their time making those time-consuming healthy meals from scratch in the kitchen is it? Well-behaved (tasteful) women rarely make history!

I find it a bit depressing when people scramble to conform to an identikit idea of “taste” in order to reach the class that they aspire to be thought to belong to, rather than working out what they might really like, what appeals to their interests and individuality, and casting off outdated, outmoded notions of respectability. I have friends who really struggle with this. It causes them actual anxiety and upset which I hate to see.

It may be that I find the British class system underwhelming as I am the offspring of a marriage of (impoverished) European aristocracy and working-class Welsh stock. I neither feel that I fit, nor do I see very much to value in tribalism.

Downunderduchess · 05/08/2020 03:50

Good manners, not publicly correcting people who might mis-pronounce words etc. Natural looking manicure. Being a decent person.

FraughtwithGin · 05/08/2020 04:03

I think good taste depends on the individual, so somewhat difficult to define.
My idea of good taste might not tally with yours.
People upthread are confusing good taste with good manners, I see the two as completely divorced from one another.

lljkk · 05/08/2020 05:08

Being clean, quiet, unobtrusive, tolerant, thoughtful, considerate, open-minded. Clothes & other possessions in good repair.

I'm foreign so Being "classy" has nothing to do with class imho... however poverty undermines classy behaviour.

CakeyCakeyCakeCake · 05/08/2020 05:16

I grew up in South Africa, in the town where the Appletiser orchards and factory are.
It’s not posh to us! Grin
Or anyone else in South Africa really. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Othering · 05/08/2020 06:45

@Atalune

Cloth napkins Green wellies White bed linens Being hospitable Not gossiping
Not just any old green wellies though...... Le Chameau wellies only. Hunters, for instance, are the opposite of classy.
Lily2020 · 05/08/2020 07:00

This is funny for me personally reading the comments - I come from a fairly comfortable family, went to boarding school, ski chalet, rental properties, several holidays a year, nice cars, etc... My husband still teases me about my family 'being a bit common' in a joking way obviously, an example of why would be that my mum always has wagon wheels in, makes a birds trifle most weekends and tinned salmon sandwiches 😂

Proudtocare · 05/08/2020 07:05

Definitely descretion, not taking about money or other people. People that dont bitch and gossip are tasteful.

Boireannachlaidir · 05/08/2020 07:07

WTAF?! Is this thread subliminal advertising from the "Appletiser" marketing board? It's all you're banging on about OP and I don't believe you or anyone else can think it's the height of sophistication. It's not even amusing. What an odd thread Confused

Magnetfisher · 05/08/2020 07:12

Jesus wept, Appletiser??? Why not Shloer... my education/career have plonked me from WC to MC ( apparently) in one fell swoop but luckily I've managed to escaped these expectations... I don't let my kids have Coke because it's full of caffeine, or any fizzy pop really and nor do most of my WC mates.

Bluesheep8 · 05/08/2020 07:14

Well we have the Ikea hemnes daybed...

And Appletiser was called Appletise without the R on the end in my day.
Anyway, never mind Appletise(r)....I present, for your desecration......SCHLOER!!! (Sp) Grin

doadeer · 05/08/2020 07:16

Sparkling water

Bluesheep8 · 05/08/2020 07:16

delectation !!! Grin or given that it's proably full of sugar I may have been right the first time!