To ask how you would reply to this couple?

[Rainbowb]

If this is true, a couple have sent out wedding invites asking all potential guests to submit two 250-word 'essays' to two questions. The gist is that they’ll use these essays to choose who can come or not, based on people’s enthusiasm. People who don’t write essays at all will be automatically disqualified. So how would you reply if you could do it in much less than 250 words?

The only people who give a flying fuck about weddings are the bride and groom. Guests just turn up and try to enjoy the party. Vainglorious, deluded couple of twerps!

Have you actually had this invitation, op? Why would you even consider doing anything but ignore it?

My faith in humanity is at an all time low, but this has to be a hoax. Surely?

I would probably go back and forth between some version 'you should write an essay as to why I should attend your wedding you self-absorbed and arrogant fwits'

and

'my dog ate my essay, can I please apply for an extension?'

Go fuck yourselves. Goodbye.
There's 496 words saved.

If I was in that poster's situation surely "You're my sister" would be all that's needed.
If I was a guest I would be writing "Are you reimbursing my costs if I don't make the cut?"

You have to be fucking kidding

Sending your wedding present back for a refund. Thanks. You saved me some money.

I think this story came to light because the bride's sister has been told that she needs to write her "application" and she's told them to poke it...at which her parents have told her that she has got to!!

3 words.

Fuck off Bridezilla!

@Passtherioja

I think this story came to light because the bride's sister has been told that she needs to write her "application" and she's told them to poke it...at which her parents have told her that she has got to!!

What a gang of imbeciles.

Not bloody likely.

WTAF?! Asking people to essentially 'apply' to come their wedding? I'd say they can stuff their wedding. This is beyond weird.

An essay? "Why don't two fuck off and never bother me again" might do, but it doesn't quite meet the required word count.
Do you really want people like that in your life?

From.readjng a thread about best and worse weddings posters attended, and the recurrent featuring of self absorbed, inconsiderate, narc couples in the worst ones (guests kept waiting for hours, not enough food etc etc, skimping while spending money on gigantic lit letters with b&g's names etc.) .... I think this is a clear indication that you don't want to attend their wedding, since you'll probably have a shite time anyway.

This can't be true.

I wouldn't bother replying.

You'd think that the couple would be paying for the flights, accommodation etc for actually demanding the "essay" lol

surely no-ones that desperate. Its a wind up 4sho

@AdoptAdaptImprove

I could do it in two.

Lol! I had the exact same thought

I'd have to reply "I can only consider coming to your wedding if you will each separately write me a 5000 word dissertation on why I should do so. Any plagiarisation will result in automatic rejection.*

Surely this is just a wind up or an exaggerated story for the media

Hide of a rhino sprang to mind when I saw this in the press.
I mean I know the happy couple want to feel special but this is silly.

It's time to stop giving airheads like this column inches. It's why they do it. Desperate for their 5 minutes of fame, even if it's famous for being a halfwitted dipstick.

I could do it in two

That's a very easy way for them to narrow the list right down, if they 'disqualify' anyone who doesn't reply! Why don't they either have a tiny wedding now and a big party later or postpone the wedding?

I know a couple that are marrying soon who are the type to do something like this.