To get married on a Wednesday

[elephantfeels]

We were due to get married on a Saturday early next year. We are currently looking into our options as our wedding would be in winter and with a second wave looming etc it is looking likely that it won't be the day we had planned (or paid for!!).
We have been given the opportunity to rearrange for next August but the only day they have free is a Wednesday (we wouldn't have to pay any extra). Obviously this will impact work and guests having to take holidays etc. One set of parents are really up for it especially as we could relocate outside if the weather is nice and one set thinks it's a terrible idea and just keep going toward our original date.

Neither myself or DP know what to do. And don't know what people think of midweek weddings!

Would IBU to reschedule for a Wednesday?

DH and I got married on a Wednesday in August. Those who were important to us made it to the wedding and reception, or let us know that they couldn't and wished us well. those who didn't do either we weren't fussed and tbh the reception was amazing, yes we finished a little earlier than would have on a Saturday night but we were so exhausted was actually a relief when last guests were leaving at 1am!

I would go to my friend's wedding reception an hour away on a Wednesday. I probably wouldn't drink but I'd be fine that it was a Wednesday especially if I knew the reason why it was midweek. However when I opened the invite I would think it's such a shame it isn't a weekend and that's the real dilemma you have.
Is there any way you can either from down the guest list or the alcohol to afford a weekend/ not early 2021 date?
I feel for you OK because you don't even really have the option to completely change the wedding and start again with the planning as you have already paid for a lot of it.

I think I would be asking the venue why it's £3000 extra (or in fact nearly double) to switch from a weekend in January to a weekend in October?

I would understand it if it was moving to a weekend in May/July/July/August or even maybe September, but it feels like taking advantage of the situation to me?

How many of them work in hospitality? There are often leave bans in the summer holidays for these workers. Ditto retail.

But surely people who work in hospitality or retail are just as likely to be working on a Saturday as they are a Wednesday? Or potentially even more likely. So the ban on summer holiday holidays would affect them regardless of which day of the week the OP booked her wedding for.

If my boyfriend and I were to get engaged then I might consider a weekday wedding. At a quick count, my mum, both of his parents, his sibling, his aunt and several of my close family friends all have to work weekends (at least some of the time) so it would probably be harder for them to get a Saturday and Sunday off than it would two weekdays.

If most of your guests are Mon-Fri workers I would consider postponing to 2022 though. It’s entirely reasonable to not have the extra money, but it would be a shame for a lot of your guests to not be able to make it.

I think I'd only go to the weekday wedding of a really good friend or family member. How many of the 65 evening guests would fall into that category? Even a Thursday would be better and feel a bit more weekendy.

Can you stick to the 35 day guests and have something more intimate? Lose the DJ and end the evening earlier?

It is true I don't understand this British two-tiered wedding custom. I find it shockingly gauche and cruel. But that's an issue for another day. I think, OP, that the consensus is clear: You want to hear that people think it's a fine idea to have your wedding on Wednesday. And the great majority of people say that it feels like a way of lessening the burden for yourself and adding a burden to your guests.

Currently looking at 2022 dates for weekends or Fridays.
Whilst we don't mind partying with lots of people for us the ceremony is a small affair where we would feel more comfortable with just our immediate family and close friends.

I find it shockingly gauche and cruel.

It is absolutely shocking. How dare you admit that you have some acquaintances that you are closer to than others OP. I’m sure your work colleagues will be gutted to hear that your siblings were at the ceremony and they weren’t, and think how utterly cruel and unfeeling you are.

In fact, I’ve heard that the lowest circle of hell is reserved for people who have evening only wedding guests. Along with people who talk in the cinema and say “haitch” instead of “aitch”.

@HalfTermHalfTerm
how did you guess our honeymoon destination!!

It seems reasonable given the notice, and given how many weddings have been postponed most guests I hope are understanding.

It's a tough position that you've been put in.

It is realistic to consider that to keep the price the same on a Wednesday would compromise your original intentions. It is likely with a hour's drive, that evening guests would be put off from coming at all (DH had an open invitation to wider colleagues and few bothered even on a Saturday, that was a 45min drive).
Some guests will never make it, come what may as there is likely to be clashing requirements- I basically had to choose between two much loved cousins and DH's siblings as they just couldn't do a co-ordinating time of year that fitted with my school holidays.

Is it possible to negotiate what the package includes? If possible, I'd rather drop a likely damp squib of a disco/ DJ and make it a more leisurely but earlier evening so that it wasn't so reliant on drinking and numbers for a party atmosphere. I went to a lovely last minute (Saturday) wedding that had private hire of a restaurant. It was done and dusted by 5pm, but finished on a high rather than fizzling out. One small wedding I went to just had games out in the bar of the hotel and it was a lovely chilled evening.

Would delaying to 2022 allow time to save the difference in cost on getting the full experience you anticipated at the point of booking?

I'd either save up the difference for the full works or scale back to a day that makes the Wednesday more sucessful. What would be a shame, especially after all the disruption is for the format and numbers just not matching up to the original expectations and still paying £6000 for it.

I got married on a Monday (March 2015 so not even summer, but it was school holidays so all our teacher friends could come!) - we were surprised that of our 70 invited guests not one said they couldn’t come, which we were fully prepared for! It might have been we got married quite young so were the first of our friends who were all excited for a wedding! I think so long as you don’t assume everyone can make it and are happy with a few drop outs absolutely go for it. You’ll also have the advantage of it being more likely you can be outside for some of the day if social distancing is still necessary

Our may wedding was cancelled

I said to venue happy to have a week day weeding as knew weekends would be sparse

Wanted May next year as rebooked honeymoon

And asked for Thursday

Venue actually came back and amazingly we have a sat - only as couple cancelled

Anyway sorry woffle didn’t

My guests were happy to have a thur when I said to them what if probably will be

If they want to come they will and book A day off work etx

Feel I need to put an update!

Wedding postponed to a Friday in October. With an extra £2k spent!
We decided that with a Friday the evening would be better and people may be more likely to have time off work if needed.

That sounds sensible
I would happily attend a Friday wedding

@JanewaysBun and if people don't wish to attend they are more then welcome to just come along for the evening!

A Friday wedding will be lovely! Good luck with the rest of your wedding planning.

Good stuff, OP. Hope you have a lovely day.
Just as an aside, your OP made me think of Solomon Grundy 😂

Friday is an excellent compromise

Hope you have an absolutely lovely day.

I love Friday weddings! You wake up on the Saturday having had a lovely day and still have the entire weekend to go!

Friday is a great day. Wishing you and your husband to be a very happy wedding day.

Friday is a great day for a wedding!
I know I would be happy to take unpaid leave because it makes it a long weekend!
Many people will also be able to relax at the evening do without having to worry about getting back (assuming they work Mon-Fri).
A great choice!

Glad sorted tho shame have to pay more

Ours was originally a friday as all sat booked for 22mths

And same price Fri or sat