To get married on a Wednesday

[elephantfeels]

We were due to get married on a Saturday early next year. We are currently looking into our options as our wedding would be in winter and with a second wave looming etc it is looking likely that it won't be the day we had planned (or paid for!!).
We have been given the opportunity to rearrange for next August but the only day they have free is a Wednesday (we wouldn't have to pay any extra). Obviously this will impact work and guests having to take holidays etc. One set of parents are really up for it especially as we could relocate outside if the weather is nice and one set thinks it's a terrible idea and just keep going toward our original date.

Neither myself or DP know what to do. And don't know what people think of midweek weddings!

Would IBU to reschedule for a Wednesday?

We got married on a Thursday people who wanted to come came.We had a few leave around 9ish as kids at school next day but we didn't mind at all,we appreciated them coming.

Ours was local btw

I was invited to the midweek wedding of a good friend. I couldn't get time off. I'd have loved to have gone, and felt that she might think I didn't make enough effort to be at her wedding.

Stupidly, I felt a bit resentful that she'd made it difficult for me to attend and that my inability to attend left me feeling guilty.
But I understood that the vast difference in prices of midweek and weekend weddings dictated her choice.
Personally, I'd rather have a less fancy venue and more guests. But that's a personal choice.

January is a bad idea at the moment. I'd definitely reschedule to August. A Weds in August is a much safer bet than any day in January at the moment. People will understand in these strange times.

@Gazelda we would have done this but we've already paid for the wedding at the venue so we would loose most of the money cancelling so it's not really an option for us

I would move to August but I'm not sure about a Wednesday. Your all day guests would need two days off work, your evening guests at least one and if I was an evening guest I'm not sure I'd want to take a whole day off the next day for that. It might mean more people don't drink and only you know if that would affect your atmosphere.

Does the actual wedding change anything for you? By that I mean, do you already live together etc? If so, I would consider moving it back yet again when you could get a Saturday at not such an inflated price (if possible!)

It's a very tricky dilemma, are any other dates available, a Friday perhaps?

@Ginger1982 we already are living together, have a DC and a house etc so it doesn't change anything in that respect.
We are so dieting moving it back to 2022 which would also give us time to save more if we went for a summer date

Hardbackwriter I think if the plan is that the evening reception is lots of people coming just for that then I'd be even more reluctant to do midweek as, realistically, people really won't want to go to an evening reception an hour away on a Wednesday.

This! I'd keep it to a weekend if you are expecting a larger number in the evening. Good luck with the planning OP, it is a really difficult decision to make in the current circumstances

That sounds like a plan! DH and I didn't live together before we got married so cancelling for us would have been a huge deal (not that I'm saying it isn't for you!)

What would you provide for the evening guests? A buffet and a pay bar or an open bar? I would drive an hour for an evening reception on a Wednesday and not drink and stay over, if probably just buy a small wedding present.

DH and I got married on a Thursday. It did mean a few people left early due to work or childcare.
But it was worth having it during the week for the difference in price to be honest! Our closest friends stayed all night.
If you’re having a relatively small wedding then maybe sound out a few of your closest friends?
And as previous posters have said, be prepared for a few people to slope off a bit early.

I had a Sunday wedding and regretted it, even though we had a big meal out the night before for 50 guests.

A lot of people left early which I accepted and expected but if I could have my time again I would have paid the extra 2k for a Saturday.

We got married on a Wednesday as we wanted to get married on our anniversary, and we were married where we lived at the time. It was 4 hours away from where my family lived, and 2 from his, so a significant trip. However, it was in a place with lots more to do if you went for a few days, so not just a castle or manor we rented for the day, even I hate those weddings when I have to travel and there’s not much else to do.

Almost everyone we invited came, minus a couple of cousins we weren’t too fussed about, even one who lived abroad flew over!
Everyone had a brilliant time as we provided lots of entertainment on the day before and during the wedding, and printed off information of things to do in the area. Also we were only allowed to keep the music blasting until midnight.
I think as long as it’s ‘worth it’ in their eyes and you’re close enough, they’ll come. Just be prepared for people not to travel to the middle of nowhere to attend (if that’s the kind of place you’re having it), especially if there isn’t much else around or you’re not that close.

We were married on a Wednesday. Slightly different situation as most of our friends and family worked in hospitality or retail and it was actually easier to get off a weekday than a weekend. We had a ball. Partied the night away.

I agree with PPs though who say it’s about what these people do for a living too. Retail/hospitality/office workers would be more likely to be able to get midweek off, anyone working in schools would find it highly unlikely to be able to get time unless in the holidays.

I got married on a Thursday and it perfect but I was so SO grateful to everyone who booked off annual leave to come. My wedding wasn’t huge though.

We got married on a Wednesday - it was a small wedding (family and close friends only) and everyone invited came and stayed for the whole thing. It was great. Nobody complained (to our faces). We did give them about a year's notice and paid for accommodation at the venue and all food and drink for 2 nights (several came down and stayed the night before).

Oh yes, several teachers amongst the guests so it was in August. We made sure to thank people profusely for taking time off work. Everyone had a blast.

Another oh, and when I say family it was parents and siblings only. We had about 25 guests.

I think your venue is price-gouging you to be honest, which would leave such a bad taste in my mouth. It's not your fault you're thinking of moving the date and October isn't peak wedding season either - they obviously know they won't be able to re-sell your original date and feel they need to double charge you! Not great.

If you do go ahead on the Wednesday, I'd rethink the traditional day/evening guest set-up. I think very few people will travel an hour for an evening party on a weekday. And while I'm usually the first person to beg brides for a child-free wedding, I think childcare will be harder for your guests so that's something to factor in too.

I work in the wedding industry and everyone's moving their weddings to mid-week next year. I think everyone understands this is an exceptional time and you're not being inconsiderate in any way.

You also need to consider that your wedding might not be the only one guests are attending next year. One year I used up 6 days of annual leave to attend weekday weddings in the UK.

All those saying none of your guest complained to your faces... guarantee there were some eye rolls when the invite came through 😂 just take an extra year and save the difference and have a weekend wedding.

If people really want to be there they will be, if not they won't.

Sorry, but it really annoys me when people say this on midweek wedding threads. It's not that simple. Many working parents have to pool their annual leave to cover childcare in the school holidays and sickness. Some people can't just take their leave whenever they please, it's dictated by their employer. I work in a school and have had friends get the hump with me because I've not been able to go to their midweek weddings in term time despite it being impossible for me to get the day off.

OP, it's your wedding so YANBU to have it whenever you choose but please do not assume that if people decline it's because they don't want to be there. They may have genuine reasons why they can't make it work. Also, don't do what my cousin did and blame your guests if your mid-week wedding reception falls a bit flat. Most people weren't drinking, which meant the dancefloor was practically empty. So she kept trying to get people to drink and then getting really annoyed when they explained they needed to drive home, get up early etc. People started leaving by 8pm, by 9.30pm the place was almost deserted, hardly any of the evening food had been eaten and she was livid.

I went to a Tuesday wedding, the evening was super quiet, no atmosphere as either people left early or just sat around. Wednesday might be better? I wouldn’t travel for a Wednesday wedding unless very close friend or family