26yo woman flirting with 18yo lad

[Custardcllouds]

NC for this.

If it was your DS (the 18 year old) would you be ok with that or would you, like me, think it's inappropriate and bordering on creepy?

I know a 38 year old women who took home an 18year old on a drunk night out. She used to babysit him.

I was accidentally flirting with a 19 Yr old for a few months as he was a very good looking bartender who I just assumed was well into his 20s. When I found out he was 19 I backed right off!

My mother moved a 17yr old in the night she met him when she was 35. I was 7 my sister 12 and my brother 17. It destroyed my life and I will never get over it. They are still together and I'm now 35, we have no relationship.

I always thought the rule of thumb of half the age plus 7 works for me.
So at 26 that makes the minimum 20. In another 4 years they would be 30 and 22 which works.

To be honest, I wouldn’t like my 18 year old son with a 26 year old although he is 22 now and a 30 yo would be less of an issue.

Sometimes it is more difficult when your own child.

Is 'flirting' some kind of code for 'mad hot, passionate sex' and/or 'marriage, babies and a house'. If so, I can see that it might all seem a bit #TooMuchTooYoung but otherwise, what harm is a bit of flirting?

Remembering my late, great auntie, from whose outrageous flirting no male over the age of 18 was safe, even when she was 92 and had to do it from the giddy heights of her motorised scooter.

If a 26 year old man was flirting with an 18 year old woman no-one would have a problem.

It is just internalised misogyny which means you think a 26(f) shouldn’t flirt with an 18(m).

Flirting is fine if he isn’t scared.🤷🏻‍♀️

There was another thread like this recently, similar ages, but with the genders swapped. Everyone pounced on the older guy saying that he was predatory, taking advantage of the 18 y/o saying that she was still only a kid.

I wouldn't be hugely keen if my 18 year old DS started seeing a 26 year old but I'd leave him to make his own way / mistakes. I'd probably find having her at family BBQs a bit odd though to be honest.

From your post, OP, sounds like it could be a family friend (if she's known him since 15?) so that would be even more euwwww in my view.

I think it's ok if the older person is female, not Male.

If sex were reversed then I would think it creepy.

My bro got involved with single mum neighbour when he was 17, and she was 25 with 3 kids. Didn't end well and messed him up a bit for a couple of years when he should've been having fun with girls of his own age and life stage.

How are they connected OP? Is she a friend or neighbour or did they meet through a mutual interest or via friends? Makes a huge difference if he's likely to be isolated from his peers through having a relationship with her IMO.

Nah fuck that weird shit. I remember getting off with a lad when I was about 29 and he was 22. I felt like Joan Collins. I know there is a gender reverse that seems to be okay but in all honesty I felt weird- BTW I didn't know he was 22 until afterwards and then he text me for a while presumably because he thought I was super experienced (and I wasn't).

Both adults no ones business

I got together with DP when he was 19, I was 29. But 25+ years and two children (now adults) later the age gap is not noticed by anyone!

I was 18 and my DH 25 when we got together. I’m in my thirties now. So I don’t think it’s that weird.

Its' not creepy at all, and a fairly common occurence.

I had one night stand with a 19 year old when I was 27. Fun but I wouldn’t have wanted a relationship...

He's still my baby in my eyes though

Now that is creepy.

Im 14 years older than my DP. When we met I was 34 and he was 20. Neither of us had any worries about the age difference - we just hit it off and loved each others company. Never looked back since. Luckily we have the same outlooks on kids, etc. Age gaps can work. Let them get on with it! 😊

Hmmmm depends on what you mean by flirting tbh? There's flirting, like what young salesmen try to do to me when they are trying to sell stuff to me, (they get an eye roll. I am often old enough to be their mother)! You know, like, "oh wow, you don't look old enough to have children!", (I'm 36), and attempts at what they think are charming compliments. Then there is flirting which is more overt and more about actual attraction, like they might actually get together.

I think it's a bit of a grey area. A friend of my DH met his wife when she had just finished A-levels and he had just finished a long course at uni, so he was 23 and she was 18. I mean, we did think it was a teeny bit weird tbh, because, as pps say, of the difference in circumstances. He was about to get a 'proper' job and save for a property etc. She was just about to start university. But definitely not outrageous. They seem like a perfectly nice, happy couple. We weren't sure she'd want to stay with him when she went to university, but she did.

My ex was 21 when I met him and I was 29 (he lied and said he was 25 initially). I was horrified when he told me his real age but we were already quite smitten. I absolutely dreaded meeting his mum in case she was like the OP! I refused to meet his patents for a few months. But I actually got on incredibly well with her when I did, in fact she remained a friend for a good decade after we’d split up and we still do Xmas cards now.

I have the same age gap with my DH, and we were four years older than that when we met, ( and that was 26 years ago) so I think it is ok. Depends on the dynamic, but it isn’t automatically terrible.

I have a 17 year old and if he chose a 25/26 year old i would be worried about pregnancy tbh as she may be more likely to want a child at that age.

I am 41 and my DP is 33 so I am a big fat hypocrite however.

It wouldn't bother me one bit as long as he was enjoying it. Did he flirt back?

Nothing wrong with it. As someone said, it's internalised misogyny to think it is yucky. No one would bat an eyelid at inverse. I wouldn't have done it but there is nothing iffy. Also use of woman v lad is telling.