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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend sold my stuff

125 replies

DemiL · 03/08/2020 09:07

I don’t live with my boyfriend but we spend a lot of time together and have stuff at each other’s houses.

He has been having an eBay clear out and informed me today that he had sold some of my stuff. I had given him a few things to sell for me but he has taken other things and sold them!

I’m upset about this but he doesn’t seem to understand my issue.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Zaphodsotherhead · 03/08/2020 11:01

Ignoring all the aspects of selling your stuff (just WHY would ANYONE even do that?), he's tight. He's got money but he doesn't want to spend any on you.

That's enough to end a relationship. Without the stealing, without the listing YOUR stuff on eBay (my mind is still boggling about that - did he just decide unilaterally, that you didn't need it, didn't want it and wouldn't miss it?) being tight is the most unattractive trait in anyone.

Dump him. And tell in in no uncertain terms why.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 03/08/2020 11:08

God, I'd bloody murder my BF if he did that. Are you really going to let him get away with this?

biglouis · 03/08/2020 11:11

Demand the money. If he doesnt pony up send him a bill with a 30 day invoice. Threaten him with the small claims court. That might get his attention.

Do you have anything of his you can sell?

SoupDragon · 03/08/2020 11:12

How can it be both "brand new" and "not used in a while"?

(He's a thieving twat mind you!)

TheBouquets · 03/08/2020 11:18

makingmammaries Mon 03-Aug-20 09:16:15

This is a sign of mental disorder in some people. My ex’s mother went through a phase of selling his stuff, in conjunction with many other weird behaviours.

Is this really a sign of a mental disorder? I have someone around me who is doing something along these same lines and does other weird stuff. I have just thought this person to be a bully but there could be something else afoot if it is a mental disorder

NYMM · 03/08/2020 11:24

Seems very strange that he's only today told you that he sold some items of yours, yet from your other posts, you say it's being going on for a couple of months and he's making excuses for not transferring the cash.

All very odd Hmm

ShebaShimmyShake · 03/08/2020 11:31

Why are you in a relationship with someone who steals from you?

DopamineHits · 03/08/2020 11:32

He stole from you. Work out how much he owes you and tell him you want that money.

And stop leaving any of your belongings at his house because he cannot be trusted to NOT STEAL FROM YOU.

Get your money back, then reconsider if you want to be with someone who sees stealing from you as a stream of income.

ddl1 · 03/08/2020 11:45

YANBU! Selling someone else's stuff without their permission is a form of stealing. I wouldn't make a legal issue of it, especially as the objects were not of high value, but I would seriously worry about your boyfriend and the relationship. Either he has some sort of mental problem, or he really regards your stuff as his. How would he react if you sold something of his??? (I'm not suggesting that you do so!!!!)

Jellybeansincognito · 03/08/2020 11:46

Ugh. He’s greedy and disrespectful

Mumoblue · 03/08/2020 11:46

Get the money and then pack him in. Sounds like a right git.

roxfox · 03/08/2020 11:49

Dump him

Gingefringe · 03/08/2020 11:50

Do you watch Judge Judy? It's full of cases like this.

That's a weird thing to do I must say.

Regularsizedrudy · 03/08/2020 11:51

..and yet he’s still your boyfriend?

jackstini · 03/08/2020 11:58

He's stealing from you - it's not ok in any sense!

Ask him to apologise and transfer the money into your bank account today

If he doesn't, report him to eBay for selling stolen goods

jackstini · 03/08/2020 11:59

Actually, get him to tell you what he got for each item and you're not happy, cancel the transactions (presume he's not posted them yet?)

CarolVordermansArse · 03/08/2020 12:01

As far as I recall you can't sell on Ebay without a PayPal account. Unless the rules have changed very recently.

lottiegarbanzo · 03/08/2020 12:07

So he can give you cash or make a bank transfer.

It could be there's been a communication problem and he understood you were getting rid of these things anyway, so thought he was doing you a favour by doing the selling admin for you.

Sounds like he knows better than you, what you want and what's good for you - and further, is willing to enforce this on you, against your stated preferences and you saying 'no'. That'd be the bigger worry - reason for leaving - for me.

TheWernethWife · 03/08/2020 12:09

Carol - its the OP who doesn't have a PayPal account not the thieving boyfriend

Motoko · 03/08/2020 12:09

Why are you still with this guy? Are you desperate for any relationship, no matter how bad?

Get your stuff back, get the money from him, and then dump him.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/08/2020 12:15

"He’s got loads of money. He’s just paid off his mortgage. He’s extraordinarily tight with his cash."

And just as tight with YOUR cash it would seem.

Plan for today:

  1. Insist on cash NOW.
  2. Dump user 'boyfriend'.
  3. Funeral pyre of anything he keeps at yours.
nauticant · 03/08/2020 12:23

I'd expect even if the OP got all the cash back from selling the items it would be a small fraction of the cost of replacing the items.

Getting the money is a side detail of this. Getting rid is the issue.

WhereYouLeftIt · 03/08/2020 12:32

I agree nauticant. My desire to get the money off him is entirely fuelled by knowing how much that would hurt someone who is 'extraordinarily tight with his cash'.

BlingLoving · 03/08/2020 12:40

Oh Jesus. Just RUN. He's stealing from you, treating you and your stuff with disrespect. Why would you even question that this is a man you should actually be in a relationship with. Honestly, I assumed you'd only been together a few months. You've been putting up wit this for years and based on your last post, he's got you nicely convinced that it's YOUR problem not his. RUN AWAY NOW>

Junenamechange · 03/08/2020 12:40

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