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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boyfriend sold my stuff

125 replies

DemiL · 03/08/2020 09:07

I don’t live with my boyfriend but we spend a lot of time together and have stuff at each other’s houses.

He has been having an eBay clear out and informed me today that he had sold some of my stuff. I had given him a few things to sell for me but he has taken other things and sold them!

I’m upset about this but he doesn’t seem to understand my issue.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Elastins · 03/08/2020 10:11

And you’re with him.........why?

scoobydoo1971 · 03/08/2020 10:12

This one should be an EX boyfriend, and you should run because he is a cocklodger in the making. He has loads of money because it has been his life work to scrounge and steal off other people...he has no respect for you, and shows you clearly who he is. I know this because I dumped his twin brother last year who stole from my workshop by taking my keys from my handbag while I was out-cold in an operating theatre having a tumour removed...I didn't need to think twice about dumping the loser, and you shouldn't be with this man either! Some people steal because they are desperate for money and have a poor moral code, and others do it because they feel 'entitled' and justify it as them having needs and 'doing you a favour' getting rid of your clutter. Learn the lesson and never repeat the mistake.

SeaState3 · 03/08/2020 10:12

He stole from you (intentionally permanently deprived you of your things).

Move all your bits and bobs out, dump him and go to the police!

KitchenConfidential · 03/08/2020 10:13

Why the fuxk are you with him?

TinkerPony · 03/08/2020 10:13

He wanted no trace of you.
He made a profit too especially with the raffle handbag.
Selfish Bastard.
What an utter stupid excuse no PayPal err direct debit into your bank account what owed in full value for ALL items sold.
Get rid.

TatianaBis · 03/08/2020 10:14

Giving OP the money doesn’t mean he genuinely thought he was doing her a favour.

FatCatThinCat · 03/08/2020 10:14

He sounds worse with each post. Dump him, he's not worth the bother.

Taikoo · 03/08/2020 10:15

So he's a thief?
Dump him but get your cash back first.

Beautiful3 · 03/08/2020 10:17

That's awful. He is stealing from you. It doesnt take 2 months to give you the money! Dump him now.

Tappering · 03/08/2020 10:21

Why the fuck are you with this joker?

I'd text him and tell him that he knew he did not have permission to sell my things. That the replacement value of them is £x. Here are my bank details and you have 24hrs to pay me what you owe me, otherwise I will report you to the police and eBay for selling stolen goods.

RedHelenB · 03/08/2020 10:23

If he doesn't give you the money then it does change my view. I assumed he did it to try to he helpful. Basically leave anything at his.

DameFanny · 03/08/2020 10:26

Tell him you're reporting him to the police now, with his texts as evidence.

And dump him. Why would you be with a taker like this?

TrickorTreacle · 03/08/2020 10:27

@DemiL

He’s got loads of money. He’s just paid off his mortgage. He’s extraordinarily tight with his cash.

He keeps promising to send me the money but there’s always an excuse. The last was I don’t have paypal. This has been going on for about two months.

We’ve been together for a few years now. He now reckons he was just doing me a favour as otherwise the stuff would have been donated to charity. I had considered donating the handbag, as I won it in a raffle. But it’s the principle of it more than anything else.

He doesn't have PayPal? What a load of bollox!

I've been on eBay since 2000, and with PayPal in 2000 too. The internet has been mainstream for 25 years now.

Sack off this piece of shit.

Queenoftheashes · 03/08/2020 10:28

What the fuck? Demand the money now, under threat of police action as he has robbed you. Get any other stuff from his house and set fire to him and then leave and block him.

Livpool · 03/08/2020 10:29

He sounds awful.

A thief and tight - dump

nauticant · 03/08/2020 10:31

He's stolen from you, and now he's lying to you. The way he's doing this suggests he's trying to control you, or at the very least manipulate you. You don't want to be in a relationship with someone like this.

KatherineJaneway · 03/08/2020 10:31

He’s extraordinarily tight with his cash.

Dump him straight away!

MumW · 03/08/2020 10:47

I'd be tempted to confiscate something essential to him (ie his phone and his bank card) and hold it to ransome until he's paid you the replacement value of the goods he stole.
If he has the impression you're going to put it on ebay, all the better (but don't actually do it, obviously)

Can you report him to Ebay for selling stolen goods?

Would threatening him with the small claims court have any effect?

Tight fistedness let alone thieving, are not in the slightest bit attractive. Play along, get your money and then ceremoniously dump.

One positive is that you've seen his true colours before things got more complicated by living together/marriage/kids.
Flowers

RB68 · 03/08/2020 10:50

What is not being said is this is controlling behaviour - he sees you and what you have as belonging to him which is why he sees no issue with what he has done. Please have a rethink and move the stuff from his that is yours at the very least. He is trying to fool you to thinking its you that is odd - it really really isn't. Move on for your own sanity you can guarantee if you ever married you would be subsumed and never get out with a penny piece as he sees it all as his

LEELULUMPKIN · 03/08/2020 10:50

What exactly do you find attractive about a thief OP?

Lolapusht · 03/08/2020 10:53

Go create a Paypal account for yourself then make sure he also has your bank details. Give him no option of not transferring you the money. I’d also ask for the full amount, not under deduction of selling fees as you didn’t agree to your things being sold on eBay.

How old are you and how old is he? How did he come about to have paid off his mortgage? Sounds like he doesn’t respect boundaries and I’d doubt this is the only selfish thing he has done. How do you normally split money? Do you earn similar amounts or does he earn more than you, suggest expensive things for both of you to do then expect you to pay half?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/08/2020 10:54

"He keeps promising to send me the money but there’s always an excuse. The last was I don’t have paypal. This has been going on for about two months."
I hope you set up a Pay Pal account immediately.
Selling on ebay is not like decluttering and taking things to the dump or the charity shop. It takes effort. The fact that he hasn't paid you for two months means he had no intention of ever doing so. Its theft.

He absolutely knows that and minimising it is just lying to you.
How can you trust or rely on someone who will steal your stuff and keep the money.

What stuff does he have at your place?
Ebay the lot and bin him

Giraffey1 · 03/08/2020 10:55

He is a thief, a liar and a tight fisted twat to boot.
I would be removing all my stuff from his place pdq. If he refuses to give you your £££ then as well as dumping him (which I would do anyway, why would you want to be with someone like this?) I would go home and sell any of his stuff he has left at yours.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/08/2020 10:56

Has he actually posted your bag and dresses? If not, get them back. If he has he needs to give you the full value for all items. MumW has it. Report him to eBay. And the police. This man is not boyfriend material. He is financially abusive.

forrestgreen · 03/08/2020 10:58

Go on his account and see how much he's made from you.
Take something valuable of his, he can send you the money or you'll sell his item to help him out, as he so thoughtfully helped you out...
But tbh can you see a like time of this?

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