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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Buying best friends house

90 replies

Trashtara · 01/08/2020 20:01

My best friend is going through a divorce and needs to sell her house. She owns it (with a mortgage) but can't afford to live in it without her DH. They've no kids. She's definitely selling it, me me made up etc etc.

She's had valuations and settled on a price. And offered it to us. I love her house, always have. It's absolutely perfect for us and we can afford it. We haven't yet put ours on the market but it would sell fairly quickly.

Are there downsides to buying a house off a close friend? I know the house like the back of my hand, I know all the things wrong with it, I helped her decipher the survey when she bought it and I know the work she's done on it, so wouldn't bother with a survey.

I can't help thinking it's not the done thing though!

AIBU buying it?

OP posts:
Timesdone · 01/08/2020 20:02

🤔no, don't do it

SuperSange · 01/08/2020 20:03

She's offered it to you; what's the problem? As long as she's not the sort to get the hump of you change things, I can only see advantages. You could avoid estate agent fees, you know the house so no hidden surprises.

ElsieBeard · 01/08/2020 20:04

@Timesdone

🤔no, don't do it
Why not?
redbigbananafeet · 01/08/2020 20:04

Would you not always both see it as 'her house'?

Bluebell878275 · 01/08/2020 20:07

If she's your best friend assuming she'd be round quite a lot..has she thought about how she'd cope visiting her 'new look' past?

LockdownQ · 01/08/2020 20:12

I helped her decipher the survey when she bought it and I know the work she's done on it, so wouldn't bother with a survey.

That is a terrible idea and the fastest way to fall out down the line.

Mulledmead · 01/08/2020 20:12

Been in a similar situation. Selling my house due to separation, friends immediately expressed an interest in buying it. They came to look, but, we all decided it was too weird. Only difference is we have children who are friends too. I am really grateful they didn't push.
Depending on how messy your friend's divorce is, you may find that she would find it hard to come and visit (memories etc).
On a practical level it's great, but maybe not on a emotional level (for her). But only you two know that.

Dozer · 01/08/2020 20:14

Would you pay the asking price?

You’d be U to be pissed off about anything at all wrong with the property, or if your friend didn’t want to visit.

Timesdone · 01/08/2020 20:16

Elsiebeard I think it's like buying a car off a friend. There's so many things that could go wrong, it's a long journey from making an offer to actually getting the keys in your hands. There's the fact the friend would visit, the potential for the buyer to ask the seller for advice /info for every little problem. There's potential for "you didn't tell/warn me about ...". Unforeseen issues not covered by the survey "you must have known.." I just see so many things that could result in a major fallout I wouldn't risk a solid friendship for it.

Original poster
Trashtara · 01/08/2020 20:18

Yes, asking price minus half the saved estate agents fees.

It's not a messy divorce. But I imagine it'd be difficult for her to visit the house. I tend to visit her though (get away from the kids).

I don't know if I'd always see it as her house. It'd look quite different when all the work was done.

OP posts:
MeanMrMustardSeed · 01/08/2020 20:23

We bought our first home from friends. We were so grateful that we knew the neighbours weren’t rude / noisy / inconsiderate and that there were no anti social issues in the immediate area. Just do a few searches on here about what neighbours can be like, and if you know your friend’s ones are okay, I would live with the weirdness (which would go after a while) and buy a house I loved.

Mummyshark2018 · 01/08/2020 20:24

Only you can tell if it would be weird. If they had kids and made loads of memories of as they haven't it might be ok. I'd say she probably would be relieved to sell it and move in!

2bazookas · 01/08/2020 20:26

Make sure her ex husband is not asserting any claim to the marital home. I'd ask my solicitor to get that in writing, so the ex can't stop the sale or demand to sell it at a higher price.

Of course you will both employ solicitors for the conveyance, but she will save the cost of an estate agent. You get a lovely house and no threat of gazumpers.

won't your mortgage lender require a new survey?

Ginkypig · 01/08/2020 20:27

Only you know if you really could cope with it.

Lots of people think they would be but actually it would be too weird but others would be fine with it only you know which camp your friend and you sit.

NewHouseNewMe · 01/08/2020 20:27

A friend of mine bought another friend's house. He was a FTB too. We joked that he lacked imagination but it worked out really well for all parties.
I'd say to go for it but get a survey.

KarlKennedysDurianFruit · 01/08/2020 20:27

My parents bought the house I grew up in from friends of theirs, private sale no agents etc. They still live there 34 years later. There were no issues, it went through quickly, everyone saved a little money and the friends still visit! Do get a survey though, just to be on the safe side.

SavoyCabbage · 01/08/2020 20:27

I think it would be a bit weird. Every time you want to redecorate of make an improvement it might feel awkward. Especially as she has to sell it rather than she’s selling it because she wants to.

VinylDetective · 01/08/2020 20:33

Sounds good for everyone. You’ll have to have a survey for a mortgage anyway. I’d let her have all the saving on agents’ fees though.

BikeRunSki · 01/08/2020 20:34

I’m just thinking that house buying and selling can be a very emotional time, and these boards are full of stories of people falling out with their buyers or vendors,, thinks going wrong, last minute price changes, etc. It feels like this could really challenge a friendship.

Koennt · 01/08/2020 20:37

If you like the house, and your friend wants to sell it to you, I would see no problem with it.

People are far too snowflakey about this sort of thing. A house is a house; what matters is the people in it. I am still sorry about one house I sold, but only because it was so staggeringly gorgeous. I did try to sell it to friends, though, so I could go back and visit.

I still see the people who bought the last house I sold. I'm always interested to see what they've done differently. They've got a baby in my DC1's old bedroom. I like the thought of another family enjoying it.

I suppose I always rather think I'm the custodian of whatever house I'm living in, rather than its one and only owner. I've only ever lived in very old houses, and I like to think that they had pasts and will have futures.

But that's a digression. OP, I'd go for it.

MikeUniformMike · 01/08/2020 20:39

Get a full survey.

wildcherries · 01/08/2020 20:39

I probably would buy it, but I'd still do a survey.

TatianaBis · 01/08/2020 20:43

Sure, but do it all through solicitors etc as with a non private sale.

starfishmummy · 01/08/2020 20:44

I'm not sure. Will she be someone who is likely to visit? And how will she react when you change something she thought was wonderful?

Bit if you do buy, of course you need a survey!!

nancyclancy123 · 01/08/2020 20:44

I’d buy it!

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