Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Buying best friends house

90 replies

Trashtara · 01/08/2020 20:01

My best friend is going through a divorce and needs to sell her house. She owns it (with a mortgage) but can't afford to live in it without her DH. They've no kids. She's definitely selling it, me me made up etc etc.

She's had valuations and settled on a price. And offered it to us. I love her house, always have. It's absolutely perfect for us and we can afford it. We haven't yet put ours on the market but it would sell fairly quickly.

Are there downsides to buying a house off a close friend? I know the house like the back of my hand, I know all the things wrong with it, I helped her decipher the survey when she bought it and I know the work she's done on it, so wouldn't bother with a survey.

I can't help thinking it's not the done thing though!

AIBU buying it?

OP posts:
TatianaBis · 01/08/2020 22:24

If she’s only been there 3 years she can’t be that attached to it.

2pinkginsplease · 01/08/2020 22:26

I find it a bit weird and I would find it weird visiting my house but it’s not my house. A house holds so many memories to families that have lived in them.

Jux · 01/08/2020 22:27

You love her house. Buy it.

If it looks like she's still thinking of it as 'hers' when you've completed, then just remind her it's yours now. She'll be alright and it won't take her long to adjust.

xmummy2princesx · 01/08/2020 22:32

Buy it

DianasLasso · 01/08/2020 22:40

@EggBoxes

Though there was one major problem that emerged later which I still pull her leg about

I read this and wondered how funny your friend finds this leg pulling, years later.

Trust me, she does (and she pulls my leg outrageously too).

I do love the way people viewing words on a screen assume they know people's personalities, quirks and innermost thoughts better than their actual real life friends. It's one of MN's continuing sources of entertainment.

IdblowJonSnow · 01/08/2020 22:41

Doesnt sound that odd to me! If you trust each other then go for it.

SarahBellam · 01/08/2020 22:42

I’d get a survey done. There could be things wrong with it that neither you or she know about.

Lotsalotsagiggles · 01/08/2020 22:43

Of it wasn't your friends house and you knew of it and saw it online, would you still put your house up for sale and buy it?

If so do it, if not then don't...

HowayPet · 01/08/2020 22:53

For me it would depend on whether she had a strong emotional attachment to it or not. Could make it it difficult when it comes to redecorating etc.

If you can have that discussion with her and iron out any niggles there may (or may not) be, beforehand then I would go for it.

HelpIcantfindaname · 01/08/2020 23:00

My parents bought their house from good friends. They have now lived happily in it for nearly 60 years.
However, ex f-i-l sold his house to my exH when we split, & found it very hard to accept all the changes exH & OW made.
You know your friend better than MNers, if you think she will be ok, & you love the house, Id say go for it.

littlealexhorne · 01/08/2020 23:07

Buy it, you clearly love it, but I think it'd be best to get a survey done just in case

EggBoxes · 01/08/2020 23:13

I do love the way people viewing words on a screen assume they know people's personalities, quirks and innermost thoughts better than their actual real life friends. It's one of MN's continuing sources of entertainment.

What are you assuming I had assumed?

FredMerc · 02/08/2020 00:12

The ppl who we bought this house off were buying the DW BF's house, didn't seem to be an issue. I remember her coming to pick up post from us once and she said she couldn't come in, she couldn't face seeing how we had changed it! I wondered if her BF felt the same way Hmm

Some ppl just find it hard to detach emotions from a house. I'm nosy id love to see how our buyers changed our old house (for the better Im sure!) Grin

Scattyhattie · 02/08/2020 00:47

My parents bought a friends house as they loved it & are still friends.
I think houses look quite different with others belongings and also they'll also be more detached as settle somewhere new. Its probably harder if rip out load of original features they'd renovated or a carefully tended garden for bare/ low maintenance.

I'd still get a structural survey as that's one less thing that can cause a problem & gives you some security. If want to make some changes it could be useful to have chat with surveyor too.

MindyStClaire · 02/08/2020 03:42

The fact that it's a project house would make me wary. They can turn into unexpected money pits which might cause resentment.

eaglejulesk · 02/08/2020 04:31

People are far too snowflakey about this sort of thing. A house is a house; what matters is the people in it.

This. There are some very weird responses on this thread. If you really like the house then buy it.

Iloveyoutothefridgeandback · 02/08/2020 05:01

I rent my house off my friend. Everyone told me not to do it because it would cause problems. 3 years later and everything is still fine. We're still close friends.

The main reason I would be concerned about buying a friend's house is the price - haggling might cause serious tension. But you have already agreed on a price that you are both happy with. I can't see a problem, unless one of you pulls a fast one at the last minute, in which case the problem would be that one of you is acting like a dickhead, rather than the fact that you are buying a house from a friend.

babydisney · 02/08/2020 05:09

If its perfect
For you and you can get a fairly good deal then yes. But I agree with above will she try to take over, be too familiar in the house ect, ls she ok offering it now but will it be painful memories for her too have to visit
? X

Furries · 02/08/2020 05:32

Blimey, am surprised at the “choose between friend and house” posts.

I haven’t bought from a friend. But I have become really good friends with the couple I bought from. They have no problem with changes made.

It is a bit weird meeting friends of theirs and realising that they know what your house looks like!

I would say go for it - but, as others have said, definitely do a full survey. That covers you and your friend against problems further down the li e.

eatsleepread · 02/08/2020 06:01

I'd feel odd about this. Probably ridiculous, but it feels to me like you'd be profiting from her misfortune.
I know she's selling anyway, but still ...

Original poster
Trashtara · 02/08/2020 07:48

MindyStClaire it's definitely a money pit! Like seriously. But project houses are sort of our thing! It's not our first venture, but it would be our last.

OP posts:
dingdang · 02/08/2020 08:39

I bought my first flat from a friends boyfriend (now husband). It was fine, just removed a lot of the worry around sale failing as we had made the agreement on price etc I got a survey and engaged a solicitor to do the transaction, searches etc. I can't see the issue so long as you both see it as a business transaction.

Sleepsoon7 · 02/08/2020 09:13

If she wants to sell to you and you want to buy then it’s win win isn’t it? It will save her the trauma and uncertainty of having it on the market for however long with various strangers coming round to view. She may be ready to move on ASAP rather than drawing everything out for potentially months on end. Suppose it may depend on how quickly yours does sell though....

TheMamaYo · 02/08/2020 10:44

I would! No doubt. It'll save your friend a lot of hassle, you both get what you want. To me, it's a bit of a no-brainer.

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 02/08/2020 11:19

I bought a house a friend had rented previously. I loved the house when she rented it, and always hoped it might end up for sale, and then it did!

I knew a lot about it from my friend (work they had to get fixed up) and of course got a full survey and had my own builder go through. I wanted this done so I could reply on experts, not on what my friend had told me.

It was a bit tricky to see it as my own house at first, but 28 months on, I do, and so do all our friends. The first decorating and building changes helped to make it ‘mine’.

So I say go for it, but to protect your friendship, get a full survey done. Then there is a clearer line between you both, and if the hot water system packs it in on the first day (happened to me), you won’t have bad feelings towards her.

Swipe left for the next trending thread