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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Buying best friends house

90 replies

Trashtara · 01/08/2020 20:01

My best friend is going through a divorce and needs to sell her house. She owns it (with a mortgage) but can't afford to live in it without her DH. They've no kids. She's definitely selling it, me me made up etc etc.

She's had valuations and settled on a price. And offered it to us. I love her house, always have. It's absolutely perfect for us and we can afford it. We haven't yet put ours on the market but it would sell fairly quickly.

Are there downsides to buying a house off a close friend? I know the house like the back of my hand, I know all the things wrong with it, I helped her decipher the survey when she bought it and I know the work she's done on it, so wouldn't bother with a survey.

I can't help thinking it's not the done thing though!

AIBU buying it?

OP posts:

SantaClaritaDiet · 02/08/2020 11:26

We haven't yet put ours on the market but it would sell fairly quickly.

There would be the possible problem.

How long do you expect your friend to be prepared to wait for you? How differently do you expect your friend to act because it's you and not a complete stranger? Can you keep the transaction as pure business? What happens if you can't sell
if you had an offer but your chain collapses...
if you have a pain in the arse buyer who delays everything?

Could you friend put the house (back) on the market or would she be stuck because it's you?

As long as you think carefully about that one, and neither of you loses out, nothing wrong in buying her house.

EmbarrassedUser · 02/08/2020 11:58

As long as she doesn’t still see it as ‘her’ house when she comes over then I see no problem. If you think she’s going to become possessive then there could be an issue. Only you know the answer really.

Original poster

Trashtara · 02/08/2020 14:10

When I say I know what's wrong with it and I helped her interpret the survey, I mean I actually have a copy of her survey in my in box! It's only 3 years old.

OP posts:

BentBastard · 02/08/2020 14:15

I have a friend that bought a good friends house. She loves the house but the downside is the friend that sold it isn't keen on visiting there now. She finds it strange and sad to be a guest there.

HeronLanyon · 02/08/2020 14:16

Definitely get a survey no matter what. Things could have gone on that you and she have no idea about ! If I were her I would strongly suggest you get one !
I can see it going wrong if there are hiccups with your sale/the survey/your finances/her move. A lot of hurdles which could affect your friendship no matter how much you think otherwise.
Thinking into future not sure I’d want to be a social visitor to a house i had loved and had to sell because of divorce. Not sure it would properly feel like your space either ??
Hmmm. Messy.
Good luck either way.

Shemeanswell · 02/08/2020 14:25

I’ve done it. Also a money pit 😄. I still love it. Every time I walk through the door I think “I love you, house”. Still eternally grateful that they sold us it.

Yeahnahmum · 02/08/2020 16:00

I'd buy it for sure

sst1234 · 02/08/2020 16:50

Who are these people that think the friend is hopelessly attached to the house to the point that she would not be able to come around without disintegrating into an emotional pile? Seriously? Not everyone is as emotionally fragile as your imagination. OP, it works for you so go ahead and buy.

VacMan · 02/08/2020 16:59

I bought a house off a friend. It worked perfectly with no issues

All these situations where people have bought a friend's house are different.

The OPs friend is having to sell her house, not choosing to.

BentBastard · 02/08/2020 17:06

@sst1234

I don't know if you're referring to my post but I certainly wasn't saying OPs friend would find it too partying to visit, just that my friend did.

And I think it's a bit unnecessary to speak like that about someone finding it hard to be a guest in a house they were forced to sell after having many happy years of raising their family there. It's understandable and doesn't mean they are emotionally fragile.

Ellisandra · 02/08/2020 17:11

If it was a best friend who I hoped to keep for life, and they were desperately upset about losing their home, and there were plenty of other houses I liked... I probably wouldn’t.

Otherwise: yes.

Realitybites21 · 02/08/2020 19:39

How would you feel if someone else was living there this time next year?

How would you feel if you end up not speaking to your friend in 5 years time because it’s gone belly-up?

Which is worse?

Rosspoldarkssaddle · 02/08/2020 19:51

Definitely get a survey. Worth the money despite knowing about hers. Go for it!

TatianaBis · 02/08/2020 21:23

@sst1234

IKR she’s only been there 3 years.

Original poster

Trashtara · 02/08/2020 21:36

desperately upset about losing their home, and there were plenty of other houses I liked.

She's not desperately upset about selling it. She's desperately upset at the prospect of not selling it.

And our house isn't on the market as we cannot find a house we want to buy. The market in the area we are looking is very slow, and in our price range is even slower. The market where we are is bouyant and fast moving.

OP posts:

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