I am going through a pretty miserable time at the moment. I’m a doctor who worked on intensive care during the first wave of covid which was tough and suddenly the team structure we had has vanished again and I’m struggling to process what happened. I know I will get there but finding it hard. I’m single and have almost given up on meeting someone, I am late 30s and realising that I might not meet someone and trying to accept that. I seem to either attract men who treat me badly or fall for men who ultimately don’t want me. It almost feels easier in some ways to stay single. But I’m lonely. I worked a run of long shifts recently and it would have been so nice to come home to someone and not to an empty flat. I know relationships aren’t all a bed of roses but I’m feeling quite down about my situation but trying to work my way through it.
My AIBU....one of my oldest friends has in the past 3 years left her husband, got divorced, met someone new, moved in and bought a house together and she is now pregnant. I’m happy for her but there probably is some element of the green eyed monster (which I hate and am trying to battle). I just wonder why I can’t seem to catch a break. She keeps texting me about the house and the baby and I am struggling to hear about it all. It just makes me so aware of my situation and making a hard time even worse.
Would I be unreasonable to tell her that I can’t hear about it all at the moment? I don’t want to hurt her but it is hurting me and I feel I need to protect myself. I have tried to ignore how I feel but now I need to accept my feelings are valid but I don’t know what to do.