Help me to stop chickening out of a confrontation

[LankylegsFromOz]

Delurking for my first ever post...

I need to confront someone tomorrow and I'm feeling a bit anxious.

My son is 11 and has aspergers and we have an almost 2 year old lab. We have a support worker that comes over twice a week. His first was a woman mid 20s, and his 2nd that started last Wednesday is the same.

I admit from the get-go my son talks alot. He goes to a mainstream school but obviously he has asd. Still he is a good kid and respectful to elders. Our dog is a typical juvenile male lab.

One of the things my son and his support worker likes to do is go to the dog park. Both son and dog loves other dogs and they have a great time. There is this man (around 60 yo) at the park and he thinks he owns it. At home we call him Mr Know-it-all. Over the last year he has been doing what I can only describe as low level bullying towards my son and dog. Never when me or DH there, only with the support worker. Snide comments about how much my son talks, obviously dislikes our dog, yells at him etc. He knows son is ASD, as my son is very open to everyone about it.

When son and new support worker went on Wednesday we warned her about him. Son hasn't been to the park for a few weeks as we were between support workers. This time he was the worst ever, calling dog 'a dick of a dog' just generally being unpleasant. He sidled up to support worker asking 'so what us your name.. are you the new support worker.. so I suppose you'll be here alot' (sniffing disapproval).

She was so uncomfortable she doesn't want to go back and I'm not going to force her, but..

Who the fuck does he think he is? Why should they go to a new dog park because if this bully picking on an autistic 11 year old boy? Nobody else in the park has a problem with them, just him.

So tomorrow, I'm taking the dog to the dog park to give this dickhead a piece of my mind. But I'm abit nervous and I need you guys to help me to not chicken out...

Update.. I did it! Bloody-hell it was the hardest thing I have ever done!

So, I walk down to the park, sans dog. He is there, holding court. The park is as busy as I've ever seen it. He was standing in front of about 10 people sitting around. More people standing close by.

I walk into the park, straight towards him. He sees me and we stare at eachother and he bloody well knows why I'm there. He turns his back..

I walk up to him and in front if EVERYONE, I go..

'Hi, I'm Lanky, DS's mum...'

I go on to say the both if DS's support workers have mentioned that he might be experiencing some issues with DS and DDog. He said, why no.. I go on to say, that something must have happened, that DS says he is always yelling at DDog, calling him a dick if a dog. And that DS always thinks he is making fun if him.

More denials from Mr Know-it-all...

I then go on to say that DS is an 11 yeal old boy with autism and the support workers are employed by our family to help us care for him. I finish saying that from now on, either myself, DS dad or his grandparents will be taking him to the park in future and is he has any concerns he can raise them with us directly.

Stunned silence from the crowd...

Mr Know-it-all apologized and said he didn't realise blah blah, and I just said I will give him the benefit of the doubt, turned on my heel and walked out.

I didn't say everthing I had planned on saying and I wish I could say I was polished and confident, but really I was very nervous, especially in front of everyone. But that's ok because it was obvious that I found the conversation difficult but I stood my ground. And I hope, in fact I'm sure that I gave Mr Know-it-all and his cronies food for thought.

So there you have it , I didn't chicken out!

Bravo 👏

Well done op!! Hopefully he will know you mean business and maybe others will be on guard now..
Better still he may go elsewhere from now on!!

Fantastic OP. Proud of you.

Hurrah !! Well done. Hopefully now the chap will have a bit more understanding , and if this was a Disney film he’d end up being really supportive of your son and keeping an eye out for him. Can only hope 😁

Bloody well.done! That's great!

Well done op!

Just read this from start to finish. Great work, on behalf of your son.

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Well done 🥂.

Wow, well done you OP 🙌

Well done! I'm actually leaving the care work this week because I have found that my employer (A care company) does not listen or support me to actually do my job when faced with difficult situations. Care workers are all too frequently pushed into proverbial freefall whilst having a parachute pushed in their general direction. It is the nature of the work, and if you do put a foot wrong you're out.
Your support worker is probably coming from a place of wanting to protect your son, and is looking to avoid a confrontation. It might not be a best choice, but probably well meant.

Brilliant, really well done OP!! That took serious guts, absolutely brilliant.

Just read the post through, I wanted to say well done ☺️ I really respect what you've done and you should be proud of yourself.

Also, I know you said you wouldn't be responding to those comments any more but I just wanted to say that there is nothing wrong with your support workers, in my opinion. They would protect your DS from danger or harm, they're not there to get confrontational with judgemental bystanders. The only person in the wrong there was Mr. Know it all, and I hope he now knows better, thanks to Super Mum

OP, you are truly a star for doing that, congratulations and well-done.

Bloody well done Op!
That’s him told, so delighted for you, your DS will be proud of you as you should be of yourself!🍸💐👍

Yessssss!!!! Good on you. That’s brilliant. And so good you had so many witnesses. No doubt people were cheering you inside.

Fantastic Op!! X

Oh no, what a creep, picking on an 11 year old. Good luck

Oh, Ive just read your update! Well done!

Well done. You've stuck up for your son against this bully of a man 💪🏼

Also, it will never be as hard again to do it again.

Well done op 👏👏👏

Well done! Hopefully after a week or so your son can continue to go with just his support worker xx

What an amazing advocate you are for your son - well done.

Awesome well done OP.

And what a great example for your son, and for the onlookers.