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Original poster

New neighbour wanting free work done

260 replies

Nothankyou0 · 31/07/2020 18:42

We’ve just had a new lady move in two doors down from us. There are 3 different tradesmen living on this stretch of road one being my husband. I’ve noticed that since this lady has moved in, she is really taking the piss. For example, before she met my husband I noticed that the other two tradesmen were very regularly helping her with her house (she has gutted it all and is doing it up). We’re friends with them and know that she isn’t paying them. They’ll do things like give her lifts to b&q and back helping her bring materials into her house, concerting her garden and other things inside the house. Then she met my husband and ever since she’s been texting every day asking advice, she has had him round there every night for the last 4 days two hours at a time helping her fit cables in her house. She isn’t paying him for this. She’s now hinting at him fitting her new kitchen (obviously she is paying for all of the supplies etc) My husband says he doesn’t mind but to be honest I’m getting pissed off as he’s missed dinner with me and the children while he’s there and also the fact that she barely knows him and is getting free work done. I think this woman is obviously trying her luck to see how much free work she can get done between the three men. I want to say that I don’t want my husband going there anymore unless she is paying him his normal rate (or even mates rates as after all she is our neighbour and we’re happy to help when we can but without taking the piss!) what would you say?

OP posts:
Standrewsschool · 31/07/2020 19:49

She’s a cf, and have got dh and neighbours to all play the knight in shining armour. I guess she’s given the ‘poor pathetic me’ story who needs a big strong man to help her out.

I would definantly say that any future work needs paying for. Use the pandemic etc as an excuse that you can’t afford to do free work. I wouldn’t even give her a discount - you really know her! If your husband volunteers be tough and say spare time is family time. Maybe even plan some days out, family visits etc so he’s unavailable to help out.

I have a shower that needs finishing off, a job that my dh started and hasn’t completed.

KickAssAngel · 31/07/2020 19:50

What's his hourly rate? Tell him that for each hour he's over there, he will need to take care of the kids alone for that amount of time, while you head off and spend the same amount of time and money on your choice of activity/spending with "such a nice man" that you find to keep you entertained.
Or he could spend some time with his actual family, and give her a quote for fitting the kitchen.

Honeydukesmum · 31/07/2020 19:50

My partner just said is she blackmailing them 😂

Whathewhatnow · 31/07/2020 19:50

@donquixotedelamancha I bloody love you.

I have this horrible image of a group of cavemen banging their chests to see who gets the 'prize'.

Stereotypes can be highly dubious but there is a reason they are so pervasive. Especially when it comes to human sexuality (note that I did not mention gender there...)

Blondiney · 31/07/2020 19:52

Big jugs? Grin

magicstar1 · 31/07/2020 19:53

Ha. We had one like that too. DH helped her a couple of times. Then she knocked in to say she was moving and wanted him to help. She asked me for his phone number so she could contact him after the move Hmm
I told her he was too busy with me and she’d have to find someone else. DH asked me to as he’s no good at being mean...that’s my department lol.

OldCow1 · 31/07/2020 19:54

Cheeky cow will work a willing horse u til it drops. She needs calling out. If she were approaching my husband with this I would go round and say I do his accounts and his holy rate is £30000000

giantangryrooster · 31/07/2020 19:55

I'm sorry we are making fun OP. But perhaps you can use this to show him, he is the laughing stock?

(and please come back and tell if we get him in turn or if there is only one winner?)

OldCow1 · 31/07/2020 19:55

So sorry. I meant hourly.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 31/07/2020 19:55

She isn’t paying him for this.

Well, not in cash anyway.

I also think the men are getting sexual favours in return, sorry but I really do.

Shizzlestix · 31/07/2020 19:55

She may well be a nice lady, but even nice ladies need to pay for tradesmen doing work. Fitting the kitchen is extremely cf territory.

iftherewereahorseyinthehouse · 31/07/2020 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheSockMonster · 31/07/2020 19:59

I knew someone like this. Not unusually attractive, but chatty and gave off a sort of girly/vulnerable vibe that had men falling at her feet to help her.

An ex-BF did loads of work for her. I called it knight-in-shining-armour syndrome. I genuinely don’t think he fancied her and I’m 99% sure she never made an overt moves on him. I think he just enjoyed the flattery! Eventually he realised he’d been taken for a bit of a mug. I think the turning point was when she started asking him to pick up ever-increasing amounts of groceries on his way over, which she’d never offer to pay him for.

Daisychains20 · 31/07/2020 20:02

Honestly loving some of the replies on here. Grin

But think your husband is the problem here op he needs to say no...Sad

SchadenfreudePersonified · 31/07/2020 20:05

Point out to him that if he wants to do a bit of work on a house you've got plenty of jobs he could be getting on with.

(Because I'll bet you either have, or could find some)

SantaClaritaDiet · 31/07/2020 20:06

It's not the stereotypical "big man showing off" that makes me cringe.

It's the stereotypical jealous wifey with a huge inferiority complex who keeps her husband (or try to) on a tight leash, whilst wearing an apron and hair curlers 😂

wheretonow123 · 31/07/2020 20:08

It seems very strange and quite unusual to expect this much from new neighbours.

Does she have a partner?

How does her age compare to your husband / other men she asks?

Pamalarrrr · 31/07/2020 20:10

Just amazes me how some women do it - I can hardly get tradesmen to doing work and I am blooming paying them Angry

lazyarse123 · 31/07/2020 20:13

We had this. Single mum lived opposite, we both helped do her garden and then she asked dh to help her put laminate floor in the kitchen. So being a helpful chap he took her to b&q more than once fitted the floor twice because the washer leaked and ruined part of it. Eventually she was coming out to meet him when he got home from work with little jobs which he would go look at before coming in to see me and the kids that lasted about a week until I explained to him why he shouldn't do that. We asked her to help with something and she said no she was busy, so dh went and collected his tools and never helped again. She wasn't the flirty type and there would always hers kids and usually one of ours there. Some people are just users. Tell him no more op theher neighbours will e talking because ours were.

forgetthehousework · 31/07/2020 20:14

Probably one of those 'poor little me' women who men just love to protect.

farrah93 · 31/07/2020 20:19

so your husband doesn't mind, helping another woman every night for 2 hours in the evening? And i guess she is busy right? upstairs doing work perhaps?

No OP. i can guarantee she's making cups of coffee/tea/coke/water having banter and chats while he's working. Probably rustles him up a sandwich too.

stop this right now.

Namechange2020onceagain · 31/07/2020 20:25

Why do men fall for this? He has done over a days work for free this week.

I can't stand women that use their "wiles" the get free stuff, it gives proper women a bad name, where are her scruples?

She may as well go the whole hog and become a prostitute. (Not that there is anything wrong with that, at least they are honest).

RedPanda2 · 31/07/2020 20:28

I'm really attractive and need a kitchen fitting...what's his availability

MikeUniformMike · 31/07/2020 20:31

It's the sort of behaviour that leads, if not to an affair, to an emotional affair.
Your DH is not doing free work out of the kindness of his heart.
It's definitely crossed a boundary.

SantaClaritaDiet · 31/07/2020 20:32

She may as well go the whole hog and become a prostitute. (Not that there is anything wrong with that, at least they are honest).

Confused

this thread is an absolute train crash, I am cringing for you.