AIBU to be upset and hurt by this lack of thought?

[hstredhead]

Long-time lurker here but this is my first post so be gentle!

Yesterday was my maternal grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary (what a milestone!) and my DM informed me that 'one or two' family members would be going to visit my DGPs to celebrate, give cards etc. I decided not to go as my parents are also hosting a mini party tomorrow at their house (which I will be going to), but some of my cousins can't attend that gathering. I also don't drive and my DP had been for a drink with some colleagues that afternoon - so I would have had to take a cab to get there.

This morning I woke up to see photo after photo uploaded to our family group chat of my DGPs with every single member of my DMs side of the family (cousins and all), and I am the ONLY family member missing. They essentially were having a family photoshoot without me.

Now, typically this wouldn't bother me per se, except for the fact that:

1. This happens fairly often to me. My immediate family and DM's side of the family all live in Essex, but I live in Enfield, and so I often don't get invited to things or things are planned and it is assumed that I won't come because I'm 'too far away' when actually I'm a 30-minute drive to my parents' house.

1. Most importantly: my Nan is terminally ill, her treatment has been stopped and she hasn't got long left. I'm also extremely close to her and I know that those family photos with everyone in would have meant the world to her because it's highly likely that was to be the last time that her entire family will be together before she's no longer here. And I wasn't there.

AIBU to think someone should have told me that everyone had turned up so I could jumped in a cab to get there and not missed this last opportunity to all be together?

It's not so much about being in the photos, but seeing them all there together and knowing that I was the only person not there made me feel awful and it looks like I didn't make the effort to be there! I've been told I'm overreacting and being 'ridiculous', so I want to canvas some unbiased opinions!

TIA

But if there is going to be another get together in a few days then why don’t you just take photos of that one?

I think YABU actually. Nobody else was told that everyone was going, they'd been told the same thing as you and decided to also go, but you decided not to. Perhaps it's more a case of you feeling you require a formal invitation and it to be made worth your while (not in a nasty way but you've said if it was a bigger event you'd have gone but you thought it was only a small gathering) whereas the others, being closer, are happy with looser arrangements.

Yabu.
You were invited, you declined, and then got butt hurt that everybody else decided they wanted to visit on her birthday.
You said it happens all the time, so I'm not sure why you thought this would be different?
I'd be more upset I hadn't seen my nana on her birthday, I wouldn't care less about the family 'photo shoot'

Anniversary* sorry.

Youre sister is right your over reacting and being silly. Let it go.

Op you made a mistake, your declining of the invitation has backfired on you. Wonder if you're feeling angry at yourself?