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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband sending nudes emotional affair

121 replies

AngryAF · 31/07/2020 03:10

Someone has just messaged me pictures and screenshots of my husband's penis and three months of conversations.
Topics cover everything from food, our children, our sex life, what they want to do to each other, who our children will live with when he leaves me!!!

(D)H says it was a game, meant nothing, that he hasn't met her and was just getting kicks from it. He is apologising and wants to come home (I kicked him out). He sent this woman, who is a stranger pictures of our children! Some where he was in bed with our toddler hugging and taking selfies - for her! She asked for them!!

I dunno wtf to do! I was angry but now I'm numb.

I thought we were in a good place... What a moron!

Aibu to ask wtf do I do?

OP posts:
SteelyPanther · 31/07/2020 08:37

What an idiot.
So he’s poorly now he’s been found out, but he was ok when sending dick pics.
I wonder if he thinks it’s ok for his kids to do this in the future. Great morals, not.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 31/07/2020 08:51

Jeez, that’s fucked up. Don’t even consider taking the low life back. The chances are it’s some scammer or worse, but in your husband’s mind it was a woman he was planning to leave you for. He sent her pics of you so she could wank over them? Did I read that correctly? How messed up is that? What was she going to do with photos of your toddler? Doesn’t bear thinking about. This isn’t a quick one off mistake or ‘game’ it’s long term deception. There should be no coming back from this.

foolishlyfoolish · 31/07/2020 08:58

OP you need to report this to the appropriate authorities if whoever it is has been asking for pictures of your DC.

Your H is a complete idiot, there are potentially other idiots out there sending pictures of children to strangers.

DrManhattan · 31/07/2020 09:12

hes been sending pic to a man or whatever but the intention to send them to another woman was there regardless. Gid rid, before he moves onto his next addiction

Zaphodsotherhead · 31/07/2020 09:16

'It was just a game'.

So is gambling, which can also lose you your home and family.

I don't think it matters how he dresses it up or what reasons he gives for doing it. It doesn't matter what he may be addicted to. Basic human decency says that you don't send pictures of your children to an absolute stranger.

Sending pictures of your dick and telling them what will happen when you leave your partner is a separate thing. Both together are absolutely line crossing.

makingmammaries · 31/07/2020 09:18

Get rid of him. Those messages are going to look lovely if you have to take him to court for child support. And your children, when old enough, can have a clear, uncomplicated explanation for the breakup. The good news is that you get the moral high ground, OP... unless you make the mistake of taking him back.

PablosHoney · 31/07/2020 09:18

You poor thing, he’s not refusing to leave is he?

MactheRover · 31/07/2020 09:24

We know that when caught men minimise what they have done. If he sent pictures of your kids to this person at her request how does anyone know that he has not done far worse. I would involve the police, just to take this fear from my mind and ensure the children are protected from him in the future. Sorry to say this OP.

TheGonnagle · 31/07/2020 09:24

I think you need to report this. Your husband has sent pictures of himself and your child in bed to a random on the internet. After they asked for that shot. That on it’s own is worth a CEOP report.

GabsAlot · 31/07/2020 09:25

what a dick forget about everything else he sent pics of your children to a stranger onthe internet to get off on-thats got to be the worst thing about it

RonnieBob · 31/07/2020 09:25

He sent pictures of you and your kids to a stranger as part of sexual fantasies?!

ABHORRENT and UNFORGIVABLE

Valkadin · 31/07/2020 09:29

I would find it unforgivable that he sent the pics of the children.

NaughtyLittleElf · 31/07/2020 09:31

I'd consider that a safeguarding risk, how far could this have gone? What will he do next? He's described it as an addiction, so it will escalate.

notalwaysalondoner · 31/07/2020 09:35

God not only is he a despicable guy who cheated on you despite having a good relationship, but he’s an absolute idiot who never paused to consider that this woman’s interest in his family might be sinister - they clearly asked for photos of you and the kids in order to blackmail him better. “We’ll send your dick pics stitched to the photo you sent us of your child to all your Facebook friends unless you send us £5000”. What an absolute idiot.

I could never take him back because of sharing photos of kids with someone he’s never even met. Did they even ever video call or only ever message? Guessing the latter as it’s probably a scam.

Don’t let the fact it might not be a “real” person on the other end change your reaction. It was real to him which is all that matters.

JRUIN · 31/07/2020 09:43

Hopefully he will be blackmailed, he is skint and then they will release pics of his dick 😂

I can't believe that you find any of this even the tiniest bit funny OP. Confused

DrManhattan · 31/07/2020 09:45

If the op does find it funny, they are probably well matched as a couple but their kids didn't ask for any of this.
Someone in that household needs to grow up

GlottalStrop · 31/07/2020 09:59

YANBU and sorry you're going through this OP but you mentioned his OTC drug habit and then his stomach problems, the two are most likely related especially if it's codeine or something stronger.

His excuses in general are bullshit.

PablosHoney · 31/07/2020 10:03

Some arseholes on this thread for sure, how dare the OP show some black humour 😡😡 wtf, yes definitely blame her 🙄

BubblyBarbara · 31/07/2020 10:11

She told him she got off on looking at pictures of me while she was "playing" with herself.

This is a terrible situation and he has really gone over the line by sharing pictures of your children with strangers but at the same time I would be a bit flattered by the above

PablosHoney · 31/07/2020 10:18

🤮

KingFredsTache · 31/07/2020 10:25

Woah! I agree with others, the sending dick pics is one thing, but sending pics of your kids to a stranger massively crosses the line and would mean he never has any chance of ever coming back from it. I would also be tempted to involve the police, you have no idea who this person was or why they were asking for pictures of your children.

This is a terrible situation and he has really gone over the line by sharing pictures of your children with strangers but at the same time I would be a bit flattered by the above

Wuhhhhh?!

User87471643901065319 · 31/07/2020 10:28

As a PP asked, where did this other person get your contact details?

CelestialSpanking · 31/07/2020 10:29

He’s sent dick pics to another woman and discussed with her who your children will live with when he leaves you. That’s more than an emotional affair. You’ve kicked him out so in your shoes I’d keep him out. “Just a game” explanation would make me just as mad as his actions. He’s thrown his family away for a “game”. What a shit.

stoploss · 31/07/2020 10:35

It doesn't matter if it was a scam, he was complicit and involved your children ffs.

Theunhappybunny · 31/07/2020 10:37

Jesus, this is fucking awful!
What sort of dickhead is he?! He’s supposed to protect his children... their pictures could be all over the dark web by now. The thought of that would absolutely sicken and terrify me.
I wouldn’t even care about any “affair” right now... I’d be disgusted in him for sharing my children with some creep on the Internet.
Give yourself a shake lady.

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