Ice cream - am I a monster?

[FudgeBrownie2019]

The DC behaved like utter knobs in a shop today. Not normal for them - they're generally well-behaved and I don't have to remind them about their behaviour. One kicked the other, the other called the kicker a knob and both were sent to stand outside in disgrace.

As a consequence (I'd just bought ice creams from the shop) I said they were banned from them til tomorrow. The ice cream man has just pulled up outside our house and both DC flew down the stairs shouting with glee - DH stood up and said he'd take them, I said "no, their behaviour in the shop means no ice cream today" and I have been told that neither of them plans to speak to me again til I am very old.

AIBU to stand firm? DH heard me say no ice cream to them when we came home from the shop but clearly ignored it because he's soft in the head, and both DC are complaining that I am outrageous for holding firm on this. DH isn't usually one for giving in but over lockdown he's relaxed a huge amount with the DC and seems to be letting things slide far more.

(Also, this is lighthearted but also slightly not - it's a DH problem, isn't it?)

Follow it through!

Definitely follow through. One day without ice-cream from the ice-cream van won't hurt them. It's just the denial of a treat; hardly a harsh punishment. Hopefully it'll make them think about their behaviour next time.

YADNBU. Stand by your guns Mom.

You are right and DH needs to tell the DC in no uncertain terms that he agrees with you.

YANBU in the slightest. This is parenting. Respect to you.

No ice cream today means no ice cream today!

Suspect your DH fancied one and was using the children as cover.

Ice cream van is a big event in my house. And therefore they will remember the lesson. Hold fast.

Haha I am so thankful I'm not BU, I clicked back onto this thinking I'd see people going "give them the ice cream you tight cow"!

Buy 4 ice-creams, eat them all infront of them (including DH).

If they have decided they're not talking to you for a long time, I would be extending the no ice cream punishment for as long as they keep up they're bad behaviour and then an extra day or 2 after it.

Stick to your guns. It won’t hurt the DC but will teach them that you mean what you say. I’d have a quiet word with DH too

See it through!
If you don't they'll know all they need to do is bat the eyes at you and DH and all will be forgiven.

They'll remember the consequence in future.

Lessons need to be learned.
It’s something they want that they’re being deprived of, not something the need like good and water. Absolutely acceptable to remove something which is a privilege when behaviour isn’t as expected.
Good mumming.

Hold your ground! Never surrender! and no ice cream for DH for 2 days!

Now you've said it you have to stick to your guns.

I do think in general food shouldn't be a punishment/reward but it's easily done

No ice cream tomorrow either for the way they spoke to you after now too

Stick to your guns OP!!!! No ice cream!!

I wish more parents would do this! Although if their response is true I wouldn’t be impressed - bloody rude!

Buy 4 ice-creams, eat them all infront of them (including DH)
This is the only solution in this situation.

@Gogogadgetarms

Buy 4 ice-creams, eat them all infront of them (including DH) This is the only solution in this situation.

Motion seconded!

@5amonSunday I agree completely - I don't tend to go in for food being a reward, either, but it came out of my mouth before I'd run it past my filter and I thought once I'd said it I'd better stick to my guns.

And yep, the initial behaviour was crap, but the mardybum behaviour since is even worse.

Hope you bought a 99 for yourself.

Hold firm and speak to you husband about backing you up in future

Who told you about the not talking thing? If it was your husband he should have been mature enough to say i won't tell your mother you said that its very cruel and disappointing behaviour I suggest you think on your attitude if it doesn't change you will be punished more often

dh on naughty step with no ice cream for sure

Bit extreme to deny ice cream on basis of a kick and calling the kicker a “knob”
And why should the victim of being kicked get punished at all? Much less to same degree. Calling someone who has kicked you a “knob” is understandable abd shouldn’t be punished with same consequence as actually kicking someone,

Bit extreme to deny ice cream on basis of a kick and calling the kicker a “knob”

'Bit extreme'? It's hardly water-boarding.