AIBU to think it’s not me who’s ‘odd’

[NotOdd]

Apparently (according to bf) I’m odd, out of touch and not like “most people” because I think Sunday roast lunch as a regular standard default family event is normal and that about now is the time to start firming up Christmas plans in terms of guests etc.

Bf says he knows no one who regularly has a Sunday roast lunch or anyone who thinks about Christmas “this early”. He thinks this is because I come from a “backward” part of the country 🙄

I am genuinely confused because literally everyone I know (bf and his family aside) would have a roast Sunday lunch (not set in stone, other things may happen instead ie days out, bbq in the summer etc) and everyone I know either has, or nearly has, their Christmas plans settled. When I say ‘everyone’ I mean my whole family, my EXH whole family (going by knowing them for 20 years) and all my friends.

AIBU for thinking it’s not me who’s the ‘odd’ one?

@NC10101
I didn't think we had classes theses days.
However I know what class I am in now 🙄 🤣🤣

It's funny how most restaurants have Sunday menus with Sunday roasts being the main bulk of it!

What veg takes 20 mins to cook when you're boiling it anyway?!

DPs family do this and I thought it was odd at first but used to it now. Every Sunday his DF cooks a roast for all of the siblings and their partners and DC.

Haven't thought about Christmas yet though

My sister in law is like you op. She has the whole summer planned in a diary, she can’t just get up and see how she feels, it must be exhausting.

I’m 42 and growing up we went to my nan and grandads every Sunday for a roast dinner. That tradition stopped as they got older and are no longer here.

In my house we very rarely have a Sunday roast. We had one last week and that was the first roast I’ve done since Christmas.

I did say to dp and the dc that it would be nice to have one maybe once a month. I would be fed up having one every week to be honest and regarding Christmas, that gets sorted anytime after October half term time at the very earliest.

I’m in the north west. I do not know anyone who has a roast every Sunday or who plans Christmas in July. You’re definitely a rarity.

Swede?

I only know one family that still has Sunday roasts every week, my family stopped sometime in the 1970s. We have one maybe 3 or 4 times a year and always in the evening, never at lunchtime apart from Christmas Day.

As for Christmas planning, we usually start thinking about it around October but we don't have lots of travelling, guests etc, just grandparents.

We don't start planning Christmas until around November, and don't usually have a Sunday roast. Sometimes we do. Each to their own though, it doesn't make you 'odd' that you do these things!

Love Sunday roasts, do a few a month and eat late afternoon with wider family.

Don't start planning Christmas till December.

hhhmmm we would normally have a Sunday roast but it isn't a set in stone type of affair and it's just us at home. Definitely too early for me to start thinking about Christmas though! Agree with others who said him saying you come from a backwards part of the country is really rude though

You’re missing the point. Rather than trying to look for support to prove that you’re not odd. You should be questioning why your partner is looking for reasons to insult you. If it wasn’t this, it’d be something else.

We have a roast dinner most Sundays but we have ours in the evening. It's not a difficult meal to cook at all.
My ILs have a roast dinner every Saturday at 1pm - now that's restrictive!

As for Christmas - we generally think about it in about September but just in terms of who will be where as my parents are divorced and my mum is on her own (as is my dad now). This year, however, we've just discussed it as we are going to go away and stay in a cottage near my dad so we needed to book it.

We used to have Sunday roast every week when i was growing up and i do still now with my own family so if you are odd so am i :) i personally haven't even thought about Christmas yet and prob wont for another few months lol that doesnt make you odd though just super organised which isn't a bad thing.

YANBU OP. We might have a Sunday lunch every Sunday if things come up, but it is our default. We have also started arranging Christmas plans - invited DP’s parents as we had mine last year etc.

I've already started planning out Christmas, if I'm going to visit my parents I have to book the cats into cat jail and that takes planning over high days and holidays.

We don't do this, I'd say more people don't than do. IL do roasts so for them it would be odd not to. Haven't given any thought to Christmas. Won't plan that until Nov/Dec.

Sorry OP, I think what you do is not the norm any more. if not just a bit old fashioned.

Agreed about the Sunday roast. Not hassle at all to do a roast.

Disagree about Christmas. But lots in my family might be working Christmas.

Well, despite my best efforts my DH (from up North) cooks a roast without fail, every Sunday. It takes up the whole afternoon & means that either Sunday night, or more often Monday has the additional total pain of still clearing it all up.

When I met him 20 years ago I found it endearing (I’d perhaps had a roast twice a year up to that point..). Now I hate it. I would be happy to never ever eat another roast dinner for the rest of my life. The kids aren’t that bothered either but any objection or suggestion of alternatives is met with a very defensive attitude, so I’m afraid I’m with your DH on this one! I wish he’d accept it was totally unnecessary and just have something easy and simple so that this Sunday ritual could be dropped..it’s very weird this obsession with making this meal on a Sunday and it interferes with plans, means he avoids getting involved with other things that need doing. Despite, before all the current situation, it often involving friends and family, which was the only positive for me as it becomes a nice social occasion, I would drop the whole thing in an instant if I could!

As for planning Christmas in July, hell no! Maybe November at a push, even then reluctantly. Especially this year as none of us has a clue what is happening week by week.

So the scheduled repeated dinner is a bit odd, sorry OP - I hate the lack of spontaneity & it becomes a tie and a chore and there is no joy involved, the planning of a single day six months in advance makes me feel obligated and uncomfortable, as it would anyone I know who I tried to pin down in July (unless we were planning/booking international tickets etc). You’re obviously not alone in this type of thing but it makes me want to break free & run!

We do a sunday roast but we start cooking about 6 and eat about 8.

No to Christmas

I do a roast mid week normally so maybe I'm the odd one I usually start thinking about Christmas sept/oct.

I don’t see what you are doing as odd at all. It’s lovely to have a family tradition of Sunday lunch and the sort of thing we remember about childhood as adults. Maybe ask your Bf what he finds odd about it. Our national traditions are in danger of disappearing and I think that’s sad. Most other countries have so many amazing traditions. They are part of a cultures identity and bring people together which in an increasingly technological age is more important than ever imo.

As for trying to get some Christmas plans in place I also don’t think that’s odd. Trying to get more than 2 people together for anything gets complicated. Everyone is different - some like to book a holiday the second they return from their present one. Some are last minute bookers and some I’m imbetween. There is no right or wrong. No odd or not odd here.

We have Sunday roast most Sundays (less often in the summer).

I haven't started planning Christmas yet though.

I'm not british so don't know if my opinion counts on this, but I invite people/family/mostly inlaws for christmas dinner (not lunch) 6-8 weeks before. "Invite" being a loose term, actually I inform them on which day they are welcome to eat the food that I always prepare and pay for. I tried asking in the past what everyone wanted or who wanted to host but unless I do it myself Christmas dinner would end up being bread with spreads eaten on your lap and watching boring tv together (seriously). Nobody else wants to host or pay for something nice (like a roast, not something very posh or expensive) and I love a nice christmas dinner on a nicely set table so DH and I took over around 7 years ago.

I mostly tend to make the same things, either vol au vents or shrimp cocktail for starters, some kind of roast meat (varies each year) with sauce, spuds, green beans or carrots and brussel sprouts and ice cream for dessert. So I don't plan that much really.

I love the Sunday dinner tradition. It has nothing to do with the meal and everything to do with getting the wider family together for support (grown children, grand children etc. and family tradition. It fell by the wayside in my family as we moved away but always do it if we’re visiting. Always a spot for me at my aunts house who still do it if I need some family support and that really helped me when my father passed away.
As for Xmas we would normally be talking about where it will be and if there are any additional guests to give fair warning although we are flexible up to the end of October as to change. So I do t think it is odd at all but it is a regional thing (none of the people in my area do it that I’m aware of other than popping to a carvery)

We don't ever make a Sunday roast, it's too heavy a meal for lunch for us. We do roast veg to go with slow cooker meals sometimes, but that's an evening meal (plus extras saved for lunch). Christmas is alternated between our families, so we know where we'll be this year. The additional arrangements around that and meeting friends gets sorted out in November / December. Christmas present shopping I usually do in a frenzy over a couple of November days.