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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be annoyed at this or am I ouverte acting ?

96 replies

AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:39

Have a new boyfriend and told friends in advance he would be staying with me this coming week, that it would be great for them to meet him.

None have kids, none are vulnerable/shielding etc. Some working, some on furlough and all driving/living within 5 miles.

Anyway sent a text out on the whatsapp group suggesting a perfectly socially distanced meet up (and less than 6 of us, not even sure if 6 is still the limit)

No replies whatsoever, but read, not even to say, 'sorry I can't make it but another time.'

I've not suggested anything that's massively inconvenient to any of them, they've already met up with me so don't think it's about Covid, just a bit disappointed.
If I was introducting different men constantly I could maybe understand but it's the first serious boyfriend of mine they have met in years.

He's here for a week, the meetup won't cost them anything and is max 10-15 minutes' drive for them all.

Would you be disappointed at the lack of effort and not even replying to me ?

OP posts:
Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:39

My title is meant to say overreacting 😂

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 27/07/2020 21:40

When did you post it?

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:40

It's outside working hours (definitely for 2 of them at least but I think 3), and i've been flexible, not said we can only do X day.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/07/2020 21:41

An invitation is not a summons. There could be many reasons they're not available. They should be polite and get back to you though.

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:42

Been over a day, they always reply within a few hours to stuff.
Once I got sent ??? Because I hadn't replied within a few hours.

OP posts:
SamSeabornforPresident · 27/07/2020 21:42

The lack of a reply is just hideously rude.

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:42

I know it's not a summons of course but considering some are not working and they can't even find 1 hour in an entire week..

OP posts:
IKEA888 · 27/07/2020 21:43

it's very rude.

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:45

It just gives me the impression they aren't that interested in meeting him, they don't have to be of course but i've always done the same for them and spent £200 bloody quid on one's hen do not long ago.

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 27/07/2020 21:46

Send a follow up saying “what do you think guys, happy tonne flexible on time in that week?”

LouiseTrees · 27/07/2020 21:46

*to be not tonne

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:46

That's a good idea but I already said that really in my first msg :(

OP posts:
TheChiefJo · 27/07/2020 21:47

It's certainly rude and thoughtless not to respond at all.

VodselForDinner · 27/07/2020 21:47

How new is this boyfriend?

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:48

It's not the first time.
I asked them if they fancied coming to a show with me and radio silence. Then I put something like well I guess that's a no then, and replies of sorry can't make it came flooding in.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:48

It's been a couple of months, but still

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/07/2020 21:51

That's a good idea but I already said that really in my first msg Sad

Could you just follow up saying you’re sorry to chase them, but you’re firming up your plans for the week, so if they’re around it would be good to get something booked in? If they’re still ambivalent, at least you’ve tried and you’ll have your answer, even if it’s not the one you wanted.

Spied · 27/07/2020 21:52

Are they the types to find an orchestrated meeting a little awkward?
I think I might.
In usual times a meet up in a restaurant or the like- yes, but they may have visions of all sitting apart on a bench not knowing what to say to this stranger.

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:52

Yeah I may have to do that really, just find it pretty rude and I don't want him to think they don't want to meet him.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:54

No I don't think so, i've met all their boyfriends etc. And still I don't think it's an excuse. The plan was to have a drink and maybe food anyway at an outdoor place.

OP posts:
Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 21:55

I mean they're almost 30 for Gods' sake, are they so terrified to send a text that they would rather I just got the message through silence ? Just annoys me

OP posts:
LizzieMacQueen · 27/07/2020 21:58

I'd guess they don't like him. Is there anything about him they might object to (newly separated for example)?

Perhaps they are discussing it all on another Whatsapp group that you're not a member of.

Original poster
AnastarziaAnaqway · 27/07/2020 22:00

They have never met him, i've only ever spoken highly of him and he hasn't done anything wrong so can't see any reason why they would take a dislike.

I think they simply just can't be arsed.

OP posts:
TenThousandSpoons · 27/07/2020 22:01

It’s rude but they are probably all waiting for someone else to say yes first just in case they end up the only one coming to meet you and him and be a gooseberry. If one says yes I bet others will.

justanotherneighinparadise · 27/07/2020 22:01

Are they good friends OP? It doesn’t sound like it 😬

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