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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for another handhold over the next few days?

473 replies

FruitLoopyLoo · 27/07/2020 17:19

A few people may remember my threads in the past. I have had a really, really difficult few years of recurrent pregnancy losses. In the past 3 years I've had 11 miscarriages ranging from 5-8 weeks.

Last time I asked for a handhold on here prior to a scan and I received so much support and love and it really helped. Unfortunately that time, we did see a heartbeat but it had stopped by the next scan.

I'm back again and I am now 12 weeks!!!! I have had a multitude of scans already and everything is looking super good this time, I can't quite believe we have got so far. I've seen baby bouncing about and legs and arms moving around everywhere, it's been amazing.

However, I'm back asking for another handhold please. When I was going through my miscarriages I was discovered to have a balanced translocation and a factor of that is I have a 5-6% chance of any child born having a severe genetic condition that would likely limit their life a lot.

Because of this I opted to have a test done. That was carried out last week and I am now waiting on the results. I am an anxious wreck. I am convinced the results will come back positive for the condition and whilst I know the odds are good they won't, I still can't believe anything good could actually happen to me. I don't even know if I'll be able to answer the phone when they ring to tell me as I feel I already know what they will say.

I really don't know what I'd do this time if this all went to pot again, I've invested too much hope this time that things may be okay and I just need a bit of a hold again please. I am so scared of going back to square one again after all of this.

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 27/07/2020 17:26

Massive handhold for you. You so deserve a stress free pregnancy. Hope with all my heart you'll get good news and will be able to start enjoying your pregnancy Flowers

Alfiemoon1 · 27/07/2020 17:29

Hand hold from me as well really hope it’s good news you really deserve it x

IncrediblySadToo · 27/07/2020 17:31

Oh you poor thing, what a hell of a lot you've been through.

My hands are freshly washed & reaching out! 👐🏼

My bestest of best finger crossing 🤞🏼for good news 🌷xx

Cryalot2 · 27/07/2020 17:34

Handhold, hopefully all will go well.xx

FruitLoopyLoo · 27/07/2020 17:36

Thank you. I just know I'm going to get a phone call in the next few days. Every time my phone beeps my stomach lurches.

I've been depressed, some really low points a few times throughout this and I just know this will be the absolute worst of it if something happens now. I'm really scared for what will happen if it's bad news, I don't think I could cope with it now.

OP posts:
DontDoItGeorge · 27/07/2020 17:41

⚘⚘ hand hold from me, I really hope your dreams come true this time.
2020 has been a shite, bizarre year. Something good needs to happen and I hope it happens for you.

Highlandcathedral · 27/07/2020 17:50

I remember your last thread, and being so pleased you had a good scan, only to then have bad news at the next one. Massive hand hold here, try to concentrate on the statistic that baby will be ok. I’m happily saying this but would be useless at it if it were me. I’ll keep everything crossed for you.

TheBouquets · 27/07/2020 18:21

Thinking if you and wishing you all the very best of luck for the results. All fingers crossed and a hand hold!

FruitLoopyLoo · 27/07/2020 18:25

Thank you. God it's just the waiting! It's driving me insane.

But at the same time I don't want to receive the call either just in case.

I feel like I'm in sort of weird limbo that I'm too scared to come out of.

OP posts:
jessstan2 · 27/07/2020 18:26
Flowers Rooting for you.
memememe · 27/07/2020 18:33

here waiting with you, ive got everything crossed for you x

FruitLoopyLoo · 28/07/2020 08:51

Thank you. Had a bit of a cry to DH last night.

It's hard. He's very much a 'everything will be fine' type. He thinks theres no way this will come back positive and this is it this time.

But I find it too hard to tempt fate like that. I see it really as I've had nothing so far in this aspect of our lives go right yet so why would this? Why would this time be any different.

And whilst I know the odds are in our favour, I just think there are 5-6% of people out there with the same thing who thought it probably wouldn't be them either and it was.

OP posts:
QueenArnica · 28/07/2020 08:57

I’m here, holding your hand OP xx

Wynston · 28/07/2020 09:13

Handhold op x

Giraffe888 · 28/07/2020 09:29

Huge congratulations 💕 and a handhold for a positive phone call x

doityourselfnow · 28/07/2020 09:31

I'll sit and hold your hand until you get that positive call. Xx

FruitLoopyLoo · 28/07/2020 16:31

Thank you. Still nothing yet. Today is the day I was told I could possibly expect a call so I'm hoping in the next day or so maybe, although everything is a bit slow at the moment given the current situation.

I just long for the day when this is all a distant memory. If I could fast forward my life to that point, I honestly would.

OP posts:
doityourselfnow · 28/07/2020 16:32

Oh goodness, my heart was in my mouth anticipating an update.

Keep going OP, you're doing great!

FruitLoopyLoo · 28/07/2020 16:45

@doityourselfnow

Oh goodness, my heart was in my mouth anticipating an update.

Keep going OP, you're doing great!

That is me every time my phone beeps honestly!

I had a scam call before from some loan company and honestly I could have leaped through the phone and throttled the guy on the other end for the heart attack I'd nearly just had at the sound of my phone ringing 😖

OP posts:
InDreamland · 28/07/2020 16:46

Massive handhold from me too! Keeping fingers crossed all will come back clear and this will be your much longed for rainbow 🌈 you deserve good fortune after everything you've been through 💐

zukiecat · 28/07/2020 17:00

Huge hand hold for you,

I hope everything will be ok for you, Sending you Love and Light xx

LakieLady · 28/07/2020 18:53

Willing everything goes right for you this time OP. Flowers

diggadoo · 28/07/2020 22:31

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Dededa · 29/07/2020 02:18

Just wanted to say, I have BT too, so I know how you feel. It is so cruel. This wait is torture. Huge hand hold!

ChippyTea16 · 29/07/2020 02:38

Hoping and praying everything goes well for you this time Flowers