To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

[BelleBoyd]

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

I think the issue here is that she didn't really ask permission. She just stated she was going and ran off before you really had chance to get out of bed. To me, at 10, that is unacceptable and I would be having a conversation with her about how we ask permission. Suppose you were unwell and fell back to sleep and didn't know where she was?

Running itself, especially if she is sporty anyway is fine. She needs to nake sure that you know where she is going. Does she have a phone she can take just in case? It's important to make sure there are safety precautions in place.

I run and often go early morning but even at 33 I make sure my husband knows roughly the route I am taking and approximately how long I will be. I take my phone in my runners pouch as well. Where I live, it's rural and I use a lot of very remote lanes to run on. Sometimes, I literally don't see another soul (apart from cows and sheep!) so making sure someone knows my route and having my phone are safety precautions in case I happen to have an accident.

Wasn’t she running up and down her own road?

At ten I would not have even mentioned to my mother I was going out to run around in the street or park with the other neighbourhood children, as long as it was light it was just accepted...but when my stepdaughters were fourteen I still did not allow them to walk home alone from school (15 minute walk)....as people have said, times have changed!

You wouldn't let a 14 year old walk home from school alone?

theDudesmummy Why on earth did you not let a 14 year old walk home from school?!

Times haven’t changed, we are just more aware of incidents than we were pre 24 news and the internet.

I don’t think we were allowed out as youngsters because our parents didn’t have internet.

You wouldn't let a 14 year old walk home from school alone?

Seriously?!

I was walking to school at this time alone from 8. My parents worked and there weren't any breakfast clubs or childminders. If you could see her running from the window then i don't see the big deal really. Just mention that next time she needs to wait for you to answer.

I am still laughing at 7.30am being late on a week day. Not everyone works 9-5 Monday to Friday and 10 year olds can make themselves breakfast and get dressed. 7.30am would be the earliest I get up these days. I got up at 10am this morning. I don't have kids but I hate this whole lack of understanding that other people may well do things differently to you and that is okay.

You collected 14 year olds from school? Weren’t they mortified?

@ScrimpshawTheSecond

You wouldn't let a 14 year old walk home from school alone?

Seriously?!

I was asking the PP the question. She said she wouldn't allow her 14 year old step daughters to walk home alone from school.

Yes, sorry, anon, I was echoing you!

I'd be fine with this. She told you what she was doing, you didn't wake up to find that she'd disappeared. Early morning is a good time to run, before it gets too hot and it's usually nice and quiet with not too many people around. It's good that she is doing something to be fit and healthy. I can't believe some of the comments on here tbh.

I'm stunned at the idea that 14 year olds are not capable of walking home from school. Or that a 10 year old shouldn't go out for a run up and down the street. It's actually quite heartbreaking that people are so anxious about things (and I say that as someone who is generally fairly anxious).

I'd go absolutely ballistic if a ten year old of mine had done this. Not a chance.

ScrimpshawTheSecond I totally agree. I’m just about to drop my 13 year old in town with her friends and I won’t worry while she is out. Good parenting is giving them trust and independence to find their own way in the world with guidance.

God I need to get off MN 😩 'not going for a run ? ' 'shouldn't be asleep at half 7' what the hell?

Although is not entirely normal behaviour ( which you've acknowledged ) I would ignore and laugh at the majority of these comments OP.

Other PPs have said, you're confused by it, so have a chat with her. I do partly agree with the fact she has got up and told you she is going out. She is only 10 and she should ask permission and wait until you're more coherent so that you can watch her / go with her. Make sure you make that clear to her for future runs but really, that is all you need to do at this point - ignore the hysteria it's absolutely bonkers.

I don't get up before 7.30, even when I have to wash my hair and travel for 30 minutes, to get to work for 8.30...

Being out on the street alone is statistically the safest place for women girls. They’re far more likely to be sexually abused by people they know than by random strangers, so stop locking them up to keep them safe and let them be confident out in their world.

They're also much likely to be groomed by abusers online than snatched off the street by a random stranger.

Good parenting is giving them trust and independence to find their own way in the world with guidance.

Children need to learn basic life skills as part of their gradual maturation to independence. I mean, we teach them these skills from a young age, don't we? And gradually allow them more independence and freedom, as we see they are more capable and able to identify risk, manage risk and safely conduct themself in the world.

Any parent is likely to find their child growing up a bit uncomfortable and be a bit anxious about them gaining independence, that's natural. But it's up to the parent to manage that anxiety, not pass it on to their child.

I say this as someone who can't watch a child run down a hill. I have to shut my eyes.

She went for a run. Not to do a drug deal or rob an old lady.

Get her Strava then you can see where she goes running.

In answer toi the question about my stepdaughters: They were scared. They came from South Africa where (in their era as opposed to mine) it would be completely unheard of for them to be allowed to walk alone along the street in their area. They were perfectly happy for me to pick them up, yes, because that is what they were used to, and I was happy with this too as I was very anxious about two little rurally-raised girls walking around alone in central London, especially on winter evenings (they did a lot of after-school stuff so it would be 5pm they were walking home usually). They grew up to be perfectly normal, independent, confident Londoners.

@Bateshotel

If my DD who is nearly 11 asked this; I’d assume it was a joke. If she was serious. I’d barricade the front door

WTF?

You'd barricade the door? To prevent a high school age child going to take some outdoor exercise? Is this a bit of failed sarcasm?

She's probably safer doing that than joining a sports club, given the latest revelations about british gymnastics coaching.