To worry when 10yr DD went for an early run alone

[BelleBoyd]

My DD woke me early this morning saying she was going for a run and left. She kept to our road and was back in half hour. Is this ok? Just seems unusual behaviour? She hasn’t done this before and doesn’t run usually as a sport.

Fair enough. Sometimes people just respond to the original post, though, rather than trawling for subsequent drip feeds. Or reading everyone else's posts to check what the party line is...

Of course YABU, OP. Don't you know all children must be locked in an ivory tower until they are 16 for their own safety?!

Thisismytimetoshine I have OP’s posts highlighted so in a longer thread I can read their posts easily without having to search.

I'll do that, so.

@puzzledpiece

She needs to understand she can't do this without your knowledge.

Saying that my, then 6 year old, went out at 6 am, across the housing estate to a friends pond, fished for tadpoles, and came back home and went to bed. I didn't know about this for years, when a neighbour told me!

:-).

My neighbour's little boy went out of the back door and through the access road while she was vacuuming the sitting room, he was found around the corner at his sister's school in the playground wearing only a vest! He was two and a half.

You can imagine the stress that caused.

@CallarMorvern but you know your child is getting the school bus, so you know where she is going. So if she left as normal but didn't arrive at school, I assume you might be a little concerned.

A bit like my DM was when I was at Primary school and used to walk home from the bus stop on my own, but one day didn't arrive home when I should have done. Little did she know that I had decided to get off the bus a few stops earlier and go home with a friend. It wasn't something I used to do without agreeing with her first, so you can imagine her panic. And we were on a rural route so I was the last stop and sometimes the only child who got off. I never did it again without letting her know!

And for the PP saying unless you know that there are drug dealers on every corner, I didn't know our town had become a particular target for County Lines until my teacher friends told me, so it isn't always obvious, unless I am very naive. DS doesn't go to the local school so we wouldn't have received the newsletters etc highlighting the issue.

If it was my 9yo son:
I would want an agreement in advance, route/ time. I'd be happy with 0.5km loops around our road/ cul de sacs with only crossing two roads that serve 8 houses each.

I would not be concerned about motivation because he's already used to parkrun.
He has not been in unsupervised contact with anyone over 19+ weeks, has no phone. Has ASD and is naturally reticent about other people and has a decent awareness of internet safety. With his dyslexia, he doesn't use chat functions on Minecraft, as he struggles with his literacy. The liklihood of being drawn into county lines is exceptionally low. Not impossible but far, far, far more unlikely than a desire for burning off some energy and a taste of independence.

It's also sad that people rush to assume an eating disorder in a sporty 10 yo girl.

Just make an agreement that you need reasonable consultation. I'd probably lend DS my attack alarm as a precaution. I should be able to hear it from any point along the loop.

My 11 yo might well do something like this. It is in keeping with the sort of thing she likes to do though.

@puzzledpiece

She needs to understand she can't do this without your knowledge.

Saying that my, then 6 year old, went out at 6 am, across the housing estate to a friends pond, fished for tadpoles, and came back home and went to bed. I didn't know about this for years, when a neighbour told me!

That's beyond belief. You were extremely lucky.

@BelleBoyd

It was 7am and am usually up before this time on school days. Although a bit uncomfortable feeling I have to justify that.

You don't have to justify what time you get up, for goodness sake. My family and I were only ever up around 7-7.30 am on school or work days, other than that didn't stir before 9am (and that was hard enough). We all liked our beds.

Imagine if our grandparents had been this hysterical.

For goodness sake, when I was a young child in the mid to late 70s, I used to ride a bike all around my estate. No one thought anything of that. (The risk for me was the man bringing me up but we won't go there.)

The only concern I would have would be busy roads, but it sounds like the DD was only running on the pavement?

Quite seriously, there's much more risk for children online these days. I discovered that my DD2 (8) was being groomed when on the roblox chat room (I hadn't even realised there was one before this!).

I'd be really happy if my 2 DDs wanted to run, as they have become couch potatoes since lockdown. I can't wait for gymnastics to start again.

Sounds good to me.

I think that might be @Rhine told then!

@Watdafark my MIL tells me about her childhood where she was allowed to roam freely from a very young age. There was a man who lived in the village who was known to abuse children. MIL said she and the other children were just told to avoid him, their parents never reported this man as it wasn't any of their business! I think many adults had a different attitude in those days.

She's hardly running across fields on her own. She's running up and down her own street!

At what age would some on here deem that to be ok?
Madness

She's 10, surely popping out for a quick run on her own is not a big deal if she's just running round the block or whatever. Surely kids walk to school on their own etc?! There's not a paedophile lurking on every street corner, despite what the news says.

Mine are older, and we live in a very safe area. But mine would not do this. Mainly if they twisted an ankle we are buggered. Insist she take a phone and has it on or waits for you.

I'm surprised that so many people think this is so strange? I used to get on my bike early in the morning at that age and go cycling in the local countryside (I was obsessed with the Tour De France and had dreams of being a competitive cyclist). I didn't bother asking my parents (probably should have done) and my DF only found out because he bumped into the local milkman in the pub who cheerfully mentioned how he'd wave to me every morning as I cycled past!

The chances are that she's got cabin fever and is just dying to stretch her legs and get her heart pumping.

@TheFairyCaravan - do you know a young girl held captive and forced into prostitution? I do. And someone captured and held for three days by three men. I know young women groomed and prostituted as in Rotherham and Rochdale. Girls afraid to go home from school because of the 'work' waiting for them.
Did you read about trafficking? I don't know these people but there was a case of a six year old sneaking out of the house and being taken to perform sex acts on men, told to keep it secret or her parents would be killed.

Yes, I'll 'get a grip!' Of the people close to me. I'll make sure I know where they are and if they're children, I'll supervise them.

I think it’s fine and a good thing. She’s bored and wants to get up and exercise? Good for her. Crack on.

She let you know and she wasn't going far. She sounds sensible and mature. One of mine would do something like this...he’s sensible too.

You should be proud and encouraging her...she’s self motivated and independent.

Total overreaction by some posters.

*puzzledpiece
She needs to understand she can't do this without your knowledge.

Saying that my, then 6 year old, went out at 6 am, across the housing estate to a friends pond, fished for tadpoles, and came back home and went to bed. I didn't know about this for years, when a neighbour told me! 
That's beyond belief. You were extremely lucky.*

Not really - the dc getting back to the house safely is by far the most likely outcome. It would have been extremely unlucky if something had happened!

It would have been extremely unlucky if something had happened!
With a 6 year old regularly wandering alone at 6am? Such innocence.

Also in most areas early mornings are pretty busy with dog walkers and runners, she wouldn’t be alone on the streets. If she’d fallen or something someone would have helped out. If you’re a regular early walker or runner it’s a stable and regular group of your local community who are out at that time. I’m not naive and saying there’s never a bad type out early, but it’s generally not a rough crowd at that time.

How times have changed. At that age I told my mum that I was leaving (or left a note) and would be in time for dinner and then went to meet a friend, go to the pool or beach or shops or whatever without informing anyone where I was or what I was doing next. That was normal 30 years ago. Our parents taught us to use our common sense and trusted us. Do kids not have common sense anymore? Or aren't they taught to be independant? My nephew had to travel alone for 1.5 hours to school at only just 12 with busses and a train. I shudder to think how he would have coped if he wouldn't even be allowed to jog alone in his own street.