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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find people who dislike animals a bit cold in general

361 replies

Tinhatattheready · 26/07/2020 17:55

Yes it’s probably goady. Yes I’ve made an apt name change but...

Honestly - anyone I’ve ever met who’s “not an animal person” always seems to be a bit... off.

I’m not talking about those who are say scared of dogs, or a bit mistrustful of cats. I mean those who are very much “it’s just an animal” (and no I don’t include farmers in this either.

I know plenty of people who are nervous of animals and they’re lovely / but have known maybe around 3 people who really are jist “who cares” and they are not so nice.

OP posts:
SurreyHillsGirl · 27/07/2020 00:23

Totally agree, OP. People who don’t like animals are ALWAYS odd and soulless.

JamesArthursEyelashes · 27/07/2020 00:28

I get what you mean OP. My in-laws are just indifferent to animals. They apparently didn’t ‘get it’ when our pet died and I was upset for months afterwards. They were, what I would call cold towards their children too. They go out of their way to tell me how lovely and tender their meat is and that animals are only there for us to eat, knowing that I’m vegetarian and eat lots of vegan food. They seem to enjoy that sort of thing which I find a bit twisted. I know quite a few people like it and I just couldn’t be close to them as we’re just very different people. Animals make me happy, like children make me happy. It’s their innocence I suppose. I also don’t tend to get on with people who say ‘I only like my own children.’ They always tend to be a bit ‘me, me, me.’ People that genuinely love animals tend to be more caring and are nicer people in my experience.

InterstellarDrifter · 27/07/2020 00:33

It also depends on culture. The British are known to be a nation of animal lovers. Many cultures are not.
I don’t think it would be correct to say that many people from other cultures around the world are cold and not nice.

Tinhatattheready · 27/07/2020 00:39

@InterstellarDrifter not sure. I have family abroad and while do things differently (dogs on kennels etc) tenure are
Still @animal people”

OP posts:
MsEllany · 27/07/2020 01:25

Honestly I find that it’s only animal lovers who seem to have very little empathy for human beings and tend to be of the ‘rehome the child if they’re allergic’ ilk. Those that would eagerly walk past a person shivering on the street to deliver armfuls of warm blankets and dog food to a dog shelter.

CasuallyFeminine · 27/07/2020 02:52

I think there's a difference between people who dislike animals (perhaps are afraid of them, or dislike the smell etc. but would never be unkind or leave an animal in need), people are who "aren't animal people" (just not that into pets, but might have some interest in animals as a general topic, can aww at a cute kitten, will smile politely at your dog etc), and people who are cruel or dismissive of animals' needs. It's very unfair to conflate these kinds of people.

At the same time there are people who are far too obsessed with pets and tend to anthropromorphise them (find a controversial dog thread on here and there'll be plenty of this type). I find these people far more irritating than those who just don't like animals. I've come across some quite cruel attitudes from animal lovers too. For example, I recently had a discussion with someone who thought it was ok to let an immobile and incontinent, with no chance of recovery, cat live and was horrified at the suggestion of euthanasia.

Pixxie7 · 27/07/2020 03:30

Totally agree, I love animals and tend to steer clear of anyone who doesn’t.

ATaleOfTwoCovids · 27/07/2020 03:40

On a very general level I don’t like animals because I find them dirty and rather quite boring. I can of course admire a beautiful dog or whatever but I have no interest in touching it or interacting with it in any way. The only exception is cats. I have a real fondness for them. They are sufficiently sociable to be pleasant but don’t require so much attention that they are irritating. I also find the smell more bearable than other animals. I don’t think I lack warmth with humans (or cats) but I’m just not interested in animals and would rather not get dirty. Shoot me.

HeronLanyon · 27/07/2020 04:27

YANBU.

talkingkrustydoll · 27/07/2020 07:11

I'm not really an animal person but my ex left me with two cats who the kids love. I would never have chosen to have cats but we seem to coexist pretty well. I do struggle with the smell of them and the hair everywhere but I wouldn't wish them harm. I just can't see them as my babies or anything like that. They do their cat things and I do my human stuff and they sit with me in the evenings while I watch tv.

I wouldn't say I'm a cold person I work with severely disabled children and help at the local food bank. I also look after my Nan. I'm just more of a people person. Maybe growing up in a house with lots of small animals like rabbits and hamsters has taught me not to become too attached. Who knows.

I find the people who put animals above people strange. I worked with a woman who said she would save her dog before her children if she had to make the choice because there are too many people in the world. Now that's cold.

ZeldalovesLink · 27/07/2020 07:19

Hitler was a vegetarian

No, he wasn’t. He occasionally followed and promotes a vegetarian diet, but he ate meat regularly throughout his life: skepticalinquirer.org/exclusive/myth-check-was-hitler-a-vegetarian/

The concept vegans are bigger animal lovers is also balls. Fair enough if you're producing all your own food. Otherwise I can't see any difference between directly killing an animal to eat, or indirectly killing it to commercially produce plant based food.

Do you mean animals killed in the production of crops, due to being killed by farm machinery etc?

If so, the best way to reduce animals being killed by crop cultivation is to go vegan, because as much as 36% of crops worldwide are produced for the purpose of feeding farm animals, despite those animals providing a comparative fraction of human nutrition (it takes 100 calories worth of crops to produce 3 calories worth of beef). (www.vox.com/2014/8/21/6053187/cropland-map-food-fuel-animal-feed). Therefore the best way to reduce the amount of land used for crop agriculture, and therefore reduce the impact on wild animals affected by farming, is to move from a diet reliant on meat and dairy to a plant based diet.

There is also the environmental impact to consider. Going vegan is the single biggest difference a person can make to their carbon footprint except not having children. Beef and dairy are huge CO2 emitters. This is having a direct impact on the habitats of a large number of animals, particularly polar bears and seals who rely on polar ice to hunt. There are also animals affected by mass Amazonian deforestation to make way for cattle feeding lots. Veganism doesn’t just protect farm animals, it protects animals whose habitats are destroyed in the service of the meat and dairy industries.

I would also be interested to know - do you truly see no difference in farming animals and animals dying as a result of crop production? Do you think that day-old chicks being macerated alive, or male calves killed on the first day they’re born, or egg-laying hens being gassed at 18 months old are all exactly the same as animals dying in crop production? Not to mention that animals which die in crop production have had the opportunity to live freely up til then, rather than the often appalling conditions animals in farms endure.

Vegans know there is no way to live a life which has zero impact on animals. But 72 billion land animals and over 1.2 trillion aquatic animals killed for food around the world every year. The scale of it is staggering. It’s not possible to be an animal lover and male peace with those figures.

And unless you're in that minority of vegans that doesn't want to on an individual level, a view I can completely respect, but accepts that the best thing for animal welfare is for other people to eat ethically produced animal products, you're essentially hoping to expand the live export industry to other countries with even lower standards, which in my book is about as far from being an animal lover as anyone can be.

I’m not sure you understand. No vegan thinks the best thing for anyone is to eat ‘ethically produced animal products’ because there is no such thing as an ethically produced animal product. The entire concept, process and execution of factory farming is inherently unethical.

If people insist on eating animals and animal products it’s for them to determine the manner in which they can do so and best appease their conscience. But they aren’t going to get support from a vegan, because it’s still an inherently immoral thing to do.

Look at it this way - say you purchase a primark t-shirt for £2, knowing it was made in a factory by a child worker being paid pennies for their labour. You might say ‘this is justified to me because primark only use factories which are up to code on fire regulations’. You might think it’s better because at least they are doing something which is beneficial for their workers. But it doesn’t change the fact that it’s an inherently immoral act to buy a t-shirt made by an underpaid child labourer.

AintNoMaryPoppins · 27/07/2020 07:20

A sort of reaction against the kind of people who say an animal dying is on a par with the death of a person

See it's not that I think this necessarily but I really don't understand how someone can go to prison for beating a human and breaking their bones but get off with a slap on the wrist if they beat a dog in the same way.

To me, animal cruelty should be far, FAR more strongly punished than it is. There should be prison time for people who do things like that. That's not the same as saying they are 'equal to humans' although I don't personally see what's so wrong about that, if someone wants to respect all living things equally then great, it's only us as humans that think we are more special than anything else, however cruelty toward them, barbaric cases of animal abuse and neglect etc... Should be seriously more punished than it is.

In my mind, if someone can beat a dog with a baseball bat and break it's back, which I saw on veterinary program the other day, or shoot a cat with an air rifle, they will likely do similar to a person at some point and they don't deserve to get off with a light punishment for doing so.

LadyOfTheRivers · 27/07/2020 07:24

I love animals, but I don’t feel the need to own one or share my home with one.

I don’t think that makes me cold and soulless.

LioneIRichTea · 27/07/2020 07:29

*@Arrivederla
I could say that I find people who are obsessed with animals to be a
bit lacking in intelligence but I value my life so I won't...

What do you mean by "obsessed"?*

Gosh, Chris Packham and Sir David Attenborough must be positively thick then

isabellerossignol · 27/07/2020 08:09

I think there's something very ironic about dismissing swathes of people as cold just because they don't go out of their way to pet a dog, or because they don't publicly perform emotions in an acceptable way. It seems rather cold.

Auridon4life · 27/07/2020 08:18

I'm pretty distrustful of people who can't get on with other people and prefer animals.

DomDoesWotHeWants · 27/07/2020 08:20

I think there is a happy medium somewhere. I don't dislike animals but I wouldn't want a pet one living in my house. I had a horse who I adored when I was young.

My grandfather didn't like animals much but was a wonderfully warm human being very popular with everyone. He worked for a children's charity after he retired so that's hardly cold.

I've disliked particular animals belonging to people I know, I must admit. I hate being slobbered over.

I enjoy seeing animals and birds in the wild and we give to charities that support them but not to pet charities.

There is something very odd about people who prefer animals to people, in my opinion.

There has to be a happy medium.

Macncheeseballs · 27/07/2020 08:26

I've been bitten by dogs 3 times in my life , does that make me cold or 'off' that I'm not their biggest fan? But thanks op for saying your a superior human being to me Hmm

HalfTermHalfTerm · 27/07/2020 09:01

I've been bitten by dogs 3 times in my life , does that make me cold or 'off' that I'm not their biggest fan? But thanks op for saying your a superior human being to me Hmm

The OP said in her opening post that she wasn’t talking about people who don’t like one particular kind of animal, or who are genuinely scared of animals Hmm

user327253 · 27/07/2020 09:15

I am a vegetarian who believes veganism to be the most ethical way to eat. I support conservation projects, I enjoy wildlife documentaries, and love to see animals in nature. I hate to hear of animal cruelty. I say hello to overly friendly pets I see out and about. I'm particularly fond of other peoples dogs. But other than that I'm just not interested in the idea of pets really, don't see the appeal, and I find the whole 'mummy/daddy' pet thing frankly weird. And I in particular don't get 'cat people'. When we've had a hamster, a goldfish and a cat (cat wasn't through choice) I found them a chore rather than a pleasure to look after. I don't enjoy looking at relatives photos of cats and endless conversation about them and having to speak to the bloody cats on Skype. I've had to house sit for friends with lots of pets before and I really didn't enjoy it at all and don't understand their desire to add more pets. I guess I prefer animals in the wild. Does that make me such a cold bad person?

Livpool · 27/07/2020 09:38

I don't get this thing about being 'cold'.

I don have a pet but do like animals - I am very hypocritical though because I do eat meat.

I also cry at pretty much everything.

My dad is not an animal fan (as in keeping pets) but he feeds the birds in his garden and built a shelter in the garden when my mum looked after a cat she found.He isn't remotely 'cold'

peterpan765 · 27/07/2020 09:47

Depends what you mean?

I don't want pets and I'm not really bothered about animals ? They usually smell and I hate the hygiene aspects - sorry but it's true.

BUT I don't like cruelty to animals or people, I love watching nature documentaries with my children as the animals are in their own environment

We have had pets and I have cared about them but realised i don't like looking after them and the work needed.

We had chickens and I loved knowing I had free range eggs and the chickens were very well looked after.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 27/07/2020 10:15

When I saw the thread title I thought, ah, one for the vegans...

And lo, here they are.

I like animals. I like animals a lot (though I donate more to human charities than animal ones, by a substantial margin). I get huge pleasure from our dogs, bird spotting, glimpses of deer in the woods, seeing a grass snake. And I eat meat.

Most of the meat we eat is either grass-fed lamb or cull venison (because, with no wolves and no lynx due to the crowded nature of the British Isles, the only predators on the British deer herd are motor vehicles and rifles, and without them we would have serious issues with starving deer and environmental degradation). Venison is very cheap at the moment: if you've never eaten it, now is the time to give it a go.

Pasture is a fabulous resource for wildlife. The variety of plants (wildflowers, hedge plants, trees) and the lack of pesticide spraying make it great for insects (and therefore for birds - though the workers used on the animals limit the range of insects). Crop monocultures eventually junk the soil, which is why our local farmers will sometime raise a crop of stubble turnips (to break the chain of cereal diseases) and put sheep on them (to fertilise the soil with organic matter) or a crop of lucerne for silage (which will capture nitrogen). Much of what is fed to stock (other than grass) comes from crop residues, which would otherwise be composted or go to waste: as it is, they are turned into high-quality protein and useful manure.

There is no such thing as cruelty-free food. For you to eat, animals have to die, even if you eat no meat and dairy. My godfather is an arable farmer, and last year over 1,000 pigeons were shot on his farm, so that they didn't devastate the crops. Deer and rabbits are similarly controlled. That's before we even get to the insects, or the rats and mice controlled in barns and granaries.

So considering all that, I have no problem with a free-range animal being slaughtered. I care about the animal, so I want it to have had a decent life and a quick death.

GeorginaTheGiant · 27/07/2020 10:17

I’m always bemused by the number of ‘animal lovers’ who keep pets that have been bred for the purpose. Rescue pets I can understand but imo breeding animals for the express purpose of separating them from their mums and living a life of captivity, not to mention the environmental impact...very selfish and not the actions of someone who loves animals or the planet.

snappycamper · 27/07/2020 10:17

[quote Tinhatattheready]@snappycamper tbh yes. I’m not saying you should have a pet / bit someone who’s horrified at their house smelling of dog for twenty minutes isn’t my type of person[/quote]
But why does that make them cold or unfeeling in some way?

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